willitpass
Don’t try to offer me help, I’ve tried everything
- Mar 10, 2020
- 2,937
someone young in my community recently passed away and i feel horrible but to be honest i'm jealous of her. i wish it was me that that had happened to
Every day when I kept seeing the death count rise due to this virus I would think why can't that be me or anytime I saw something on the news about someone who wants to live dieing I would always think why can't I take their place. They would get to live and be happy and I could die and be happy.
itsamadworld
i wanna die somewhere like up there
- Mar 15, 2020
- 410
Yes. Very jealous. I took care of hospice patients. I used to be jealous when they would pass away, and I was left with the aftermath.
Aeathelina
Little Homeless Girl
- Feb 5, 2020
- 308
Yes. About six years ago, one of my cousins passed away from cervical cancer suddenly at 32 years old. I cried with my family and I remember feeling sympathy for the childern she left behind but in those moments I also envious. She had every reason to still be alive like for her business and daughters but cancer took her. I never told my family that wish it had been me that died instead of her because I have no reason to exist but she did.
Superdeterminist
Enlightened
- Apr 5, 2020
- 1,877
Every time I hear about someone's death, no matter who they are, or how they died, I am envious. There are many ways to die which are excruciating and unenviable, but the once it's over, they get to enjoy the bliss of nonexistence all the same.
My mum recently told me of a woman she knew who passed away in their sleep. She said "isn't that sad?" and I was thinking no effing way she is lucky!!
Busdriver
Mage
- Feb 11, 2020
- 513
I am even jealous on the people dying on SS with their goodbye threads.
Deleted member 17331
The swan sang with a broken neck
- Apr 21, 2020
- 376
Yes, I have a jealous. And I confess that when I look at my failed attempts, I can only be ashamed of myself... I feel worthless.
I am jealous of the people that fall to sleep and never wake up. So beautiful death. It happens very often in my town with all ages from 30 until 70 years old.and while reading the local news when i see this i have an instantly hope and joy if it could be me the next time and sadness for the death of someone who didnt want to.
Throwawaysoul
Wizard
- May 14, 2018
- 606
I was totally jealous when my mom died. Even though she was a bitter old fox news watcher, she loved life more than I do.
not-2-b-the-answer
Archangel
- Mar 23, 2018
- 9,333
I feel the same … I just wish it were me that died. So many people want to be here that have their lives ended. Let me take their place.
Exactly
InterstateFlowers
Experienced
- Apr 16, 2020
- 236
Definitely, I'm always in subdued envy when I'm reading someone's suicide note on SS or seeing the coronavirus death cases. Of course, I do feel bad for people who died not wanting to.
I am sure majority of us here are envious of the dead as our objective is the same to ctb.
mathieu
Enlightened
- Jun 5, 2019
- 1,090
Bct
Disqualified from Being Human
- Apr 20, 2020
- 419
Sometimes, but I would like to trade my soul with someone who wants to live if I could.
Oblivion
Wizard
- Aug 2, 2018
- 629
the first thing that popes in my head when i hear about someone dying is envy
Deleted member 18655
Enlightened
- Jun 4, 2020
- 1,422
Yes. Even when I wasn't suicidal I was always jealous and/or pleased for those who got to leave.
moonchild
Student
- May 8, 2020
- 125
I live very very close to a cemetery, and it's the only thing I can think about whenever I walk past. Also feels so unfair that (probably) most of them didn't want to die, but there they are, and I'm here, alive, thinking that seems like peak bliss.
Just now on my local news a guy died again at his sleep ,and another one electrocuted while repairing the boiler and other two died at car accident.i would trade with anyone of them instantly...
Yes, I should be long gone. I really hate being alive now. I'm like existing. I get jealous of young people who managed to go out early. Why can't I seem to go through with it. I'm prolonging the torture. What is going to take till I do it? I guess im
scared of pain and failing. But I'm already in a lot of emotional pain.
scared of pain and failing. But I'm already in a lot of emotional pain.
I have a morbid fascination of death and truly envy every person who dies, I wish it was me, I have no hope left, my psychiatrist doesn't understand how bad I feel, she basically thinks I should just snap out of it, and she's meant to be professional. I'd take the place of any Covid death in a heartbeat
I am not jealous because they died. I am jealous because they didn't want to die.
itsamadworld
i wanna die somewhere like up there
- Mar 15, 2020
- 410
Good point. How is it some people can like this planet so much and others cannot?
TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 6,831
Not really jealous per se, but a bit sad if said person had a good life (objectively and subjectively) and wanted to live on. Then I also feel some sort of 'relief' in the fact that dead people don't suffer anymore.
Cosmiq
Student
- May 7, 2020
- 197
In another thread, I mentioned I had a younger cousin who was the victim of police violence. He's around the same size as me. Like 5'5" and slim/slender. I remember attending his funeral, and think how unfortunate it was for his mother. At some point during the service, each row goes up to view the body in the casket. I remember going up realizing how much we looked alike and immediately wishing it were me. We have the same dark skin tone, head shape, nose, and mouth. My chin is just a bit more narrow, and eyebrows thinner.
He wanted to live, and I wish I could take his place. I wouldn't have wanted to be shot down by the cops, but I just wish it were me that was dead. I had the thought, that if someone came up to me and was "real quick I can put you in his hoodie and jeans right before he's dead" I'd take that offer.
He wanted to live, and I wish I could take his place. I wouldn't have wanted to be shot down by the cops, but I just wish it were me that was dead. I had the thought, that if someone came up to me and was "real quick I can put you in his hoodie and jeans right before he's dead" I'd take that offer.
TheGoodGuy
Visionary
- Aug 27, 2018
- 2,999
Yes especially people who die young and painlessly they are so lucky imagine if I had been hit by a truck at 12 years old then I would never have known what suffering was.
But also when I watched suicide videos of people who actually have the courage to do it especially the handgun suicides, no hesitation they just do it lucky bastards.
But also when I watched suicide videos of people who actually have the courage to do it especially the handgun suicides, no hesitation they just do it lucky bastards.
Yes, im jealous of even flies and ants that get to die before i do.
MeriDeath
Im on the edge of reality
- May 10, 2020
- 213
Ohhh I am jealous of dead people all the time! Every time I wake up in the morning and I can also recall times when I was younger and wishing to be dead so I won't go to school in the morning. Literally every moment I wish that.
