Does anyone else freak out or stress over spending money?

[ThatStateOfMind]

Pretty sure I have chrometophobia (fear of spending money) and I am so uncomfortable spending money. I am literally out of state on a business-type trip trying to enjoy myself and all I can think of is how much money I keep spending. It feels like I'm wasting money. Not sure, my flights and hotel were covered, I'm getting paid to be here, I did the math, I'm coming out with a profit, and yet I still stress. I can afford everything too.

I hate feeling like this, and I'm not sure why I do. It doesn't help that a piece of furniture I own is falling apart, but I can't bring myself to get another one. I keep thinking of how hard it would be to move it out because my room is cramped and it's hard to get anything in and out due to bad architecture and the size of the room being a bit small. I keep trying to think that this is a special experience, and I should enjoy it since I'm still coming out ahead and trying to keep the furniture out of my mind but I'm hopeless, and failing to do so. It doesn't help that my boss gave me no hours last week, this week I took unpaid time off, and I'm not scheduled for after I get back. I might be for the week following when I get back, I haven't got my schedule yet, but that week is my last week there before I leave due to the semester starting soon.

I'm not trying to be super negative, I know this post is kinda negative, but I struggle so hard with this, regardless of how much I save up or how little I spend, I feel guilty when I spend. I have a scarcity mindset. I know it's definitely caused by my upbringing causing me to be extremely frugal and that excessive frugality now is feels like wasted opportunities to live and enjoy the trip and life in general.

 

[dragonofenvy]

I'm like that too and I thought I was the only one. In my case it's good for me since I only get $2000 per month take home and my rent by itself is half of that so I have to be careful to keep up with the bills. Sometimes I make big impulse purchases and then kick myself for it for a long time. I try not to use my air conditioning because I worry about the electricity bill (even though it doesn't contribute a worryingly high amount) so sometimes I sit in my apartment uncomfortably hot. I also can't bring myself to eat at places that have nicer food because whenever I see a meal costs more than $10 I just can't purchase it.

I'm paranoid because once in my life I went to a mental hospital for a month and ended up having to pay something in the region of $25,000 for it when I was 17. That was after insurance too. So I guess it's good that I am frugal and save in case something happens again. I suppose it's better to be like that than my friends who burn money on League of Legends skins and gacha games (hundreds to thousands of dollars) and then complain that they can't afford anything. One is even six figures in debt because of college and STILL does it. I'm sure you probably know lots of people at your school who burn through money like its nothing. They may be happy and energetic in the short-term since they're getting short-term gratification but I wonder how they'll be long-term with their habits...

I guess what I'm trying to say is that the opposite of frugality would likely put you in a much worse state than where you are now. But it does suck a lot to want to do something but then the thoughts of "no no I can't spend the money on that" come in. I also think there are other ways to live a life other than spending money to live that life. I don't know what that'd look like myself since I haven't found it but I have a pretty good idea that there is a way. I don't really have much to say on it other than to say that I too have a similar mindset, and it does suck a lot sometimes.

 

[katyusha_kat]

I do, but that's because I don't make enough of it. So it's for very different reasons than you. I went from $65k/year to being so poor that I get a grant that covers most of my upcoming semester of college, just for being poor. It'd be funny if it wasn't pathetic.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I'm paranoid because once in my life I went to a mental hospital for a month and ended up having to pay something in the region of $25,000 for it when I was 17.

God, they are such fucking scams. At least in America.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I'm like that too and I thought I was the only one. In my case it's good for me since I only get $2000 per month take home and my rent by itself is half of that so I have to be careful to keep up with the bills. Sometimes I make big impulse purchases and then kick myself for it for a long time. I try not to use my air conditioning because I worry about the electricity bill (even though it doesn't contribute a worryingly high amount) so sometimes I sit in my apartment uncomfortably hot. I also can't bring myself to eat at places that have nicer food because whenever I see a meal costs more than $10 I just can't purchase it.

I'm paranoid because once in my life I went to a mental hospital for a month and ended up having to pay something in the region of $25,000 for it when I was 17. That was after insurance too. So I guess it's good that I am frugal and save in case something happens again. I suppose it's better to be like that than my friends who burn money on League of Legends skins and gacha games (hundreds to thousands of dollars) and then complain that they can't afford anything. One is even six figures in debt because of college and STILL does it. I'm sure you probably know lots of people at your school who burn through money like its nothing. They may be happy and energetic in the short-term since they're getting short-term gratification but I wonder how they'll be long-term with their habits...

I guess what I'm trying to say is that the opposite of frugality would likely put you in a much worse state than where you are now. But it does suck a lot to want to do something but then the thoughts of "no no I can't spend the money on that" come in. I also think there are other ways to live a life other than spending money to live that life. I don't know what that'd look like myself since I haven't found it but I have a pretty good idea that there is a way. I don't really have much to say on it other than to say that I too have a similar mindset, and it does suck a lot sometimes.

Yeah, I was able to kick the mindset to the side and buy stuff on the trip, but I still usually kicked myself in the ass over it. I got over it though so I could try and enjoy my trip, I got my stipend now and now I'm in a net profit, so it's a bit of a relief. Although, in some strange turn of terrible luck, my shoes fell apart while on a trip, the soles are starting to come off so I will likely have to buy some new shoes soon, so there goes a chunk of the net profit lol.

That mental hospital bill is INSANE, especially after insurance. I couldn't imagine being like your friends though, I can't imagine spending a huge amount of money on games. It's hard for me to buy games in general, near impossible to buy thinks like accessories in the game. I feel like people like that have no good grasp on spending. I don't get that same short term gratification purchasing things unless it's like a really good meal, then I feel good but then I feel a little bad.

I suppose your right though, If I was the opposite of frugal, I would be in a terrible position. It's very validating to hear that I'm not the only one like this. I hope to eventually kick it to the side, but considering it is essentially a fully-fledged phobia at this point, it will prove difficult.

I do, but that's because I don't make enough of it. So it's for very different reasons than you. I went from $65k/year to being so poor that I get a grant that covers most of my upcoming semester of college, just for being poor. It'd be funny if it wasn't pathetic.

I'm sorry you're going through that, I hope your situation does get better!

 

[quietly_gone]

Yeah and this often gives me so much anxiety I end up spending more money than necessary. If my fridge is broken I get so stressed about the costs to repair it I don't do any research at all and just choose the first repair company I can find to get it over with already. This happened a lot of times with countless things — I get anxious, try to solve the issue quickly and later on find out I could've saved up so much more and it makes me sad. It's stupid. But I'm also financially unstable so there's that

 

[Hvergelmir]

chrometophobia

Didn't know that was a thing, but I suffer from the very same thing for similar reasons.
It's a really hard thing to overcome. It's not like just going out there, forcing oneself to spend lavishly, is wise or sustainable.

Thanks for putting a label on it. Haven't even considered researching it before.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Yeah and this often gives me so much anxiety I end up spending more money than necessary. If my fridge is broken I get so stressed about the costs to repair it I don't do any research at all and just choose the first repair company I can find to get it over with already. This happened a lot of times with countless things — I get anxious, try to solve the issue quickly and later on find out I could've saved up so much more and it makes me sad. It's stupid. But I'm also financially unstable so there's that

That sucks, I haven't really experienced that because while I do get stressed about the cost of repairs on things such as my car, I research for the cheapest part (usually finding it on Amazon) then use a YouTube video to fix it myself since it's usually an easy DIY repair with tools, and that way I save money on mechanics, labor, and the expensive auto parts store prices.

Didn't know that was a thing, but I suffer from the very same thing for similar reasons.
It's a really hard thing to overcome. It's not like just going out there, forcing oneself to spend lavishly, is wise or sustainable.

Thanks for putting a label on it. Haven't even considered researching it before.

I agree, there's a huge mental hurdle to overcome when you want to spend money on something you want or desire and you cannot force it to occur.

I'm glad I can help someone who struggles with similar issues. I decided to research it because I'm like "this level of frugality is NOT normal," and found out there's a phobia around it and everything, though research on it is pretty limited as it's not a well-studied phobia.

 

[etherealgoddess]

Pretty sure I have chrometophobia (fear of spending money) and I am so uncomfortable spending money. I am literally out of state on a business-type trip trying to enjoy myself and all I can think of is how much money I keep spending. It feels like I'm wasting money. Not sure, my flights and hotel were covered, I'm getting paid to be here, I did the math, I'm coming out with a profit, and yet I still stress. I can afford everything too.

I hate feeling like this, and I'm not sure why I do. It doesn't help that a piece of furniture I own is falling apart, but I can't bring myself to get another one. I keep thinking of how hard it would be to move it out because my room is cramped and it's hard to get anything in and out due to bad architecture and the size of the room being a bit small. I keep trying to think that this is a special experience, and I should enjoy it since I'm still coming out ahead and trying to keep the furniture out of my mind but I'm hopeless, and failing to do so. It doesn't help that my boss gave me no hours last week, this week I took unpaid time off, and I'm not scheduled for after I get back. I might be for the week following when I get back, I haven't got my schedule yet, but that week is my last week there before I leave due to the semester starting soon.

I'm not trying to be super negative, I know this post is kinda negative, but I struggle so hard with this, regardless of how much I save up or how little I spend, I feel guilty when I spend. I have a scarcity mindset. I know it's definitely caused by my upbringing causing me to be extremely frugal and that excessive frugality now is feels like wasted opportunities to live and enjoy the trip and life in general.

I'm really sorry about that. I have irrational thoughts as well, but instead it's about always feeling behind. Like, I literally find it an inner battle to go do my laundry because I get a panic attack thinking that I should be working instead.

The way to fix it is by deconstructing it and keep going against it. First 30 times are going to be like hell, honestly. The first time I battled my irrational thought of, "YOU MUST GO FASTER YOU ARE BEHIND," by trying to logically deal with it and not give into the urge to satisfy it, I had a huge anxiety attack and was frantically breathing for 15 minutes and couldn't do anything. But over time, I've been getting more control over it. The way to get over it is to undo the conditioning and keep going against it and showing your body: "Hey, look. You're literally fine." It's gonna be fucking hell the first few times and honestly for a while, but I've been deconstructing this irrational thought for a month, and I'd say it's still pretty bad but it's not controlling my actions as much anymore.