does anyone else feel uncomfortable with themselves

[luana]

For the longest time, I've had this uncomfortable feeling.
It makes it hard for me to focus on things and any hobbies that I had previously are non existent now because my brain does not let me focus and I just want to rip my skin off. I've tried many things to stop this feeling. I meditate, I try to push try and ignore it but I think I've reached the conclusion that I hate myself so much, that my body is starting to also reject me. I cannot take it. I do not feel happy nor would I say I feel sad. I just feel extremely tired both mentally and physically. I'm anaemic so maybe some of it has to do with that?
My anxiety and depression are over the roof, I feel like the older I get the worse it is? I tried anti depressants for a week, that I felt awful during that week so I decided to stop. Not sure it would help me with how I feel or if it would make things worse. My friends seem to be against it.
I just miss the girl that I used to be, but I'm not sure "that girl" even existed. She must've at some point, right? Happy and care-free, with not a single worry in the entire world.
Part of me misses her, even with no recollection of her.
But this feel of uncomfortableness is gut-wrenching, it breaks me apart and I want it to stop. I want to love myself.
For all it's worth, maybe some day it will be okay.

Maybe some day.

 

[Octavia]

This sounds horrible… do you have an idea of what exactly is making you feel bad?

 

[luana]

This sounds horrible… do you have an idea of what exactly is making you feel bad?

not really sure. I just feel disconnected from everyone and everything

 

[r0tting_]

I know people on this site are often against medication but I just wanted to say that most antidepressants can you make feel worse at first but they don't start working until 4-8 weeks of taking them so maybe you should give them another go? If not I understand though as I've been on them and didn't find them any help either. <3

 

[Octavia]

not really sure. I just feel disconnected from everyone and everything

Hmm… maybe talk with a medical professional about it? Do you have access to a doctor or are you in uni?

 

[SilentSadness]

I feel perpetually uncomfortable as well, life is a constant aching mess both physically and mentally. At least for myself. Anti-depressants did nothing for me either so that's no surprise. I suppose it's not helped by the fact we're constantly labelled as mentally ill by pro-lifers simply for using reason to evaluate the often horrifying nature of this reality. I hope you can find some comfort soon.