Does anyone else feel like they're not human?

[Avyn]

It's always been hard to connect to other people and make friends no matter how much I try, I don't feel connected to anybody.
I copy behaviors and parts of peoples personality, I want to look normal in front of others, because I don't know
how I should really act or what to say in certain situations.

My memories feel like they're not my own, it's like somebody else lived in this body before me, made all these memories, left and spawned me in.
I don't feel connected to them at all, like I was never actually there, as if I wasn't the one experiencing them.

When I think about my body, having blood inside of me, flesh under my skin, a slimy red bouncy heart with other various organs and bones, I feel disgusted.
I don't like anything humans are supposed to do. I don't eat much - sure good food is nice, but it gets boring.
I don't have any parental instincts and don't want children.
I have no dreams I want to achieve and I live for the sake of others.

It's as if I was never meant to be here.
Does anyone else feel this way?

 

[ermurazor]

I can kinda relate. I might expierence Joy and happiness, grief and such. But most of the time it feels like im not really there. I function because thats whats society is expecting from us.
But like you said, i also dont want children. I dont believe in love anymore, life turned me into such a cynic person. To quote pat bateman " it feels like my mask of sanity is about to slip".

 

[MlKE]

I think feeling disassociated from your memories is a sign you've grown as a person. I have a hard time thinking back about things I did and didn't do, and I'm astonished at how unlike me they seem now, and how I could have taken so many chances. Maybe this is something everyone experiences, or maybe it is a sign of having improved from a worse state.

I still feel estranged and I seem to be giving out bad vibes a lot. I often fall behind in groups, it seems everyone else can act and talk more fluently than I do.
Life itself becomes meaningless when you only live for yourself. It seems useless to put in any effort except for the bare minimum for survival, if even that.

There is still a great potential though, I notice that when someone needs me to do something or be somewhere, I have a vast supply of willpower and energy to get it done and be reliable. But I struggle to not let myself go completely.

 

[Shadowlord900]

I actually wish I wasn't human, but I am, and feeling like a human sucks ass.

I wish I was a humanoid Shadow Creature or a Mew from Pokemon instead.

 

[Veraz]

I've pretty much spent my entire life alone. I had a grand total of 2 friends growing up, and neither of them were at the same time. One friend from about 8-14, and the other from 14-25 or so. The problem being that even if you make friends, you will eventually lose them because adult life leaves no time for such things. No matter how hard I tried, I ended up slowly drifting apart from both of them, and social anxiety won't allow me to simply message them and try to reconnect.

These days, I just spend 24/7 wasting away in my room. I live on disability, so I'm not required to leave my house. Haven't stepped outside once in over two months. So while I can't claim to relate to feelings of disgust with human anatomy, I can definitely relate to how horrible it is to feel alone, as I have spent my entire life alone and likely will spend the rest of it and die alone as well.

Crippling social anxiety is a bitch lol.

 

[innominesatanas44]

I feel not really unhuman but more subhuman. And Im treated that way too for most of my life. I just dont try anymore to be respected. I only really care now about things that aren't real life. Real life is just a burden

 

[sitring_lonely]

Do feel the same as you. Everyone makes out seem like monsters and it starts to make you think you're a monster as well
Just because you dropped the act everyone suddenly has an issue with you, maybe it is not worth being a human, because nobody will ever care about you enough to look deeper

 

[hungry_ghost]

My memories feel like they're not my own, it's like somebody else lived in this body before me, made all these memories, left and spawned me in.

Sounds similar to the idea of a "walk-in".

 

[phantomime]

I also do. Have you heard of Otherkin/Therian?

 

[EnvyTangerine]

I definitely don't feel like I'm human. Maybe I was, but then I realised how things really were in my life. Everything is cruel

 

[OutOfTheVoid]

i sorta relate in some ways, sounds similar to dissociation. maybe its partly cuz im autistic, but i just feel like i cant relate to most humans, to the extent that i feel as if im basically not human myself. im more of a demon if anything lol

 

[CTB Dream]

Yea ofc injury damage out space time , no human no any, me no like human but also no human now even befr injury damage no human

 

[OutOfTheVoid]

I also do. Have you heard of Otherkin/Therian?

hell yeah glad someone mentioned that

 

[Venus13]

Yes, I need reminders I'm human. I feel dissociated internally, have issues with connecting with others, and I also feel I look subhuman. It's quite a severe feeling for me, I need actual reminders or I slip into a confusing psychosis about it.

That's after years of issues. It started just feeling distant from others and having normal social anxiety. A shitty life made me collapse into this severe disconnect from humanity with a lack of understanding of what I am. Obviously I know I'm human, but I often feel like something grotesquely off and wrong here.

 

[downndone2]

Absolutely, I isolate and feel like a robot in a sense. I do not feel a lot of emotions. But the anxiety is what makes me want to not be. I feel like I barely exist all day and night long. Life is excruciating

 

[sunsetting]

Yeah, I feel no satisfaction engaging with other people just don't know how long I can keep it up before I either snap or ctb.