Venting Does anyone else feel like theres something fundamentally wrong with you or is it just me?

[unluckyme]

I just dont "get it" like everyone else. they all know how to be alive but i just feel weird and wrong all the time.
i dont know how im supposed to feel or think i dont really have any opinions or friends. My brain just feels fucking empty. Im so empty i dont know what to do. Im 22 and my life just feels like a dead end. The only thing i really have going for me is my boyfriend but even then I feel so fucking alone
It just hurts so bad inside idk . I feel like im not a real person and I dont exist in the real world but I watch everyone else get to have that. Im all rotten and weird. Even other depressed people seem more "real"

There is nothing I have to share with the world and it doesnt want anything to do with me either im just a ghost. Something is missing from me
Im so awkward and stupid. Cant talk to people. I cant act right
Please tell me at least someone else feels the same

 

[timf]

If you consider that we are all born helpless, ignorant, and selfish it can explain a lot of the difficulties we face in life. Our parents are supposed to help us learn how to navigate the world, but often they themselves are fumbling in the dark.

Sometimes people develop with a less reflexive approach to life. This can make someone feel odd and out of step. It is like not being able to live on automatic pilot. While often disconcerting (especially when first detected), having the freedom to direct your own life does have advantages.

Those who simply react to the circumstances around them may seem to be happier, but if circumstance become less advantageous, they can seem almost prisoners of circumstances. A more disconnected perspective allows you to make more choices about what you would like to do, learn, see, and control. You can even choose to participate in those activities around you but it is more a choice than a reflex.

Some use a greater freedom to choose to exploit others. However, this extension of our basic selfish nature is the path of consumption which usually leads to a hunger that is never satisfied. Often a more satisfying path is that of helping others. This is usually to be found in parenthood. However, it can also be found in doing volunteer work or simply identifying those who could benefit from your assistance.

Another path some choose is that of artistic expression such as music, painting, pottery, writing, drawing, etc. In a way this can also be a way of helping others if one creates that which inspires, elevates, or touches someone's heart. It might seem more difficult to take control for the direction of your life, but it can be more rewarding.

 

[Wezzy777]

I second @timf 's recommendation ok artistic expression, if you've never tried it it can feel stupid but can be very freeing. It feels like your doing something...human, something right. Because art can never be wrong and there's a bunch of artist disconnected with themselves as a human who/are were praised and loved.

 

[itistoomoot2beit]

Yes. I think this feeling is more common than you think. We most of the time do not give much thought about it, so people do not talk. To understand feelings like this of other people you'll need a very deep level of intimacy that often isn't present even in romantic relationship/friendship we see everyday.

 

[nux_walpurgis]

I am having a breakdown right now feeling the exact same way. How do other people... live? Why is it so damn hard for me? What the fuck do they get that I don't? Why is everything such a struggle for me, such a fight with my inner demons, while they get on so easily?

I have to start mentally preparing months before I get a job because otherwise I just can't cope and there are people out there getting a job on a whim. And it's not only for a job, it's about the most simple of things.

I just can't anymore

 

[LostLily]

I feel like that too, like I wasn't made for this world and it struggles. I'm tired of trying

 

[unluckyme]

If you consider that we are all born helpless, ignorant, and selfish it can explain a lot of the difficulties we face in life. Our parents are supposed to help us learn how to navigate the world, but often they themselves are fumbling in the dark.

Sometimes people develop with a less reflexive approach to life. This can make someone feel odd and out of step. It is like not being able to live on automatic pilot. While often disconcerting (especially when first detected), having the freedom to direct your own life does have advantages.

Those who simply react to the circumstances around them may seem to be happier, but if circumstance become less advantageous, they can seem almost prisoners of circumstances. A more disconnected perspective allows you to make more choices about what you would like to do, learn, see, and control. You can even choose to participate in those activities around you but it is more a choice than a reflex.

Some use a greater freedom to choose to exploit others. However, this extension of our basic selfish nature is the path of consumption which usually leads to a hunger that is never satisfied. Often a more satisfying path is that of helping others. This is usually to be found in parenthood. However, it can also be found in doing volunteer work or simply identifying those who could benefit from your assistance.

Another path some choose is that of artistic expression such as music, painting, pottery, writing, drawing, etc. In a way this can also be a way of helping others if one creates that which inspires, elevates, or touches someone's heart. It might seem more difficult to take control for the direction of your life, but it can be more rewarding.

thank you Tim for your reply..... I guess if you take the path your parents or the world around you subscribed its easier to feel like you fit in or that you're doing something important. & its easier to feel "Right".
I feel some sort of massive guilt all the time for no reason / "hunger".. maybe i just feel like an asshole all the time and I just want to be better to the world around me. Ive always wanted to help people & create things but i feel like i'm missing that "human element" or "soul" to make something nice for people.
Something is definitely lacking but i think i can make up for it the more things i try to put into the world. i just want to start in the first place.

Yes. I think this feeling is more common than you think. We most of the time do not give much thought about it, so people do not talk. To understand feelings like this of other people you'll need a very deep level of intimacy that often isn't present even in romantic relationship/friendship we see everyday.

I think you're definitely right but it hurts how we can't see the deepest feelings even of the people we love.... and it hurts how i can't put it into words for the people i love to understand. im glad its more common than I think though because it makes me feel so alone..

 

[spoonfed]

Awkward, don't belong, feel out of place or ignored along with a dozen other anecdotes I can confirm yes to all the above. Your still young,have you spoken to any professional about it like your doctor or therapist. Now I don't want to sound like an over bearing parent but have you had any kind of assessment for adhd/add/autism/bipolar or bpd, just asking you'd be surprised at how often things get overlooked till later in life, late in life diagnosis is a pain in the arse gives you to much to look back on and wonder what could of been. Sometimes we're just built different and knowing that is all it takes. I am neither a therapist and trained in anyway and I'm offering up just my opinion

 

[yellowjester]

What the fuck do they get that I don't?

They don't 'get' anything different. They just never had to face the same mental hurdles as us. It's not something you can blame yourself for; these disorders often take root long before you're even conscious (and genetic factors also play a major role).

Unrelated: Do you know which artist your banner is from? I really appreciate the art style.