Venting Does anyone else feel like conversations with loved ones go in circles?

[Lycoris]

Even though I technically have a social support system of my brothers, my 2 remaining friends and the internet it feels like its pointless to reach out because every conversation ends the same way. I either hold back about how deeply I want to die and they either give me platitudes, advice that implies I havent desperately tried or wanted to work, or the only thing they have left to say is that they hope things get better? I know they dont hate me and logically theyve done things that are loving toward me like helped me with medical bills and been there for me for other smaller issues. It just feels so suffocating and like im trapped knowing I cant rely on anyone with my true emotions because I'm scared they are going to force me to go to the psych ward making my money issues even worse or theyre going to downplay it because they feel scared and threatened. Professionals are also not an option due to money reasons and the fact i've gone consistently since I was 8 years old when it was court ordered. I've done CBT, DBT, EMDR, etc and tried many different therapists that ultimately end up only healing me until I'm stable enough to be productive for society again. Tired of the loop and seeing it coming and giving myself learned helplessness.

 

[SarahThrowsGin]

To me, it is not just feeling. It is what it is: the conversations go in circles, their perspective doesn't change.

One exception: I did get my mother to be less confrontational, to realize that circumstances aren't going to improve from arguments. But only that far: they won't budge their opinions but now are more likely to keep them to themselves. Unfortunately, they are plain incapable of empathy, so when I struggle, I have no one to reach out to. I didn't get any success with making therapists realize one can have threats in the present rather than in the past, either, and have abandoned therapy over this, and over them screwing up what works for me.

 

[NutOrat]

What an insanely relatable post! Are you me? Wtf?

In all seriousness, I totally feel you, especially with the "responsibility piling" that my family does whenever I open up about my troubles. "Why are you not talking with us? Please say what's wrong!" And whenever I do tell them, they feel attacked, like how dare I ask for sympathy?! It's your own fault, you're doing nothing, you just need to get a job, and all your problems will magically go away. Just this morning my brother was SO worried, he asked me "what's wrong?", but when I told him, he just said that I'm a "self-fulfilling prophecy" and that it's on me. Really great way of offering help, and no, not even a shred of empathy. All I want is to be understood, to not have my pain be invalidated because it's my fault. I'm so tired of feeling guilty for my own misfortune, it's suffocating. I can't talk to anyone in my life, because the outcome is ALWAYS the same, yet for some stupid reason I still try again and again.

 

[ManOfTheYear]

Your expecting an answer from them that doesn't exist as the only answers they can give you are the ones you have already gotten. Realistically their not going to have any more answers than you do cause those are the answers. Dissect the situation and what you can see is a dissatisfaction within the expectation of change or something new. And there is nothing wrong with that, you are seeking help, at a loss and want to be found. So what exactly would be the answer that would satisfy these cycling talks? Do you want them to agree and understand that you are suffering and there is nothing more for you? Do you want to just be able to openly vent these thoughts in your head without repercussions designed by the living to people close enough?

 

[Leonard_Bangley39]

I don't even bother trying to talk about my feelings with anyone. I changed my phone number and haven't contacted my family for weeks now. i barely talk to anyone on my campus either, and online i don't do much besides shitpost. The way i see it, there's really not much to talk about. I'll just spend my last 2 months focusing on myself and doing whatever i want (to an extent, I'm not just gonna turn into a huge asshole). My family won't hear anything about where i am or what I'm doing until it's already done