Discussion Does anyone else feel like an alien/very strange to others constantly?

[hadesgirl777]

I struggle with severe shyness and social phobia very deeply. I don't really have any friends, and feel completely disconnected from people, especially my age (19) Sometimes it feels like I literally woke up in a human body and have to constantly imitate people and their mannerisms and stuff just so I don't make them uncomfortable/ creep them out, as I think I always come across as really weird/ threatening no matter how hard I try not to, I tend to be quiet a lot also due to anxiety/ don't want to mess up and say something wrong or that's seen as really weird/awkward. I suck at explaining I think and it's hard to put into words but I just always feel like there's no place for me anywhere, and it contributes a lot to me feeling suicidal, it feels unbearable a lot of times, I often wish I was just a normal person. Does anyone else feel like this at all?

 

[c4di]

this is something i heavily struggle with too. no matter who it is im talking to im always scared of messing up and seeming weird but i end up being awkward anyway, it feels so isolating since every social interaction stresses me out. im sorry you feel like this too, hope it gets better

 

[inbekween]

I can empathize, i feel like a stranger to people all the time. i think my homicidal feelings have made me feel like I'm someone that's messed up more than the norm (which I guess, is true), people say everyone's messed up, but once I open up, they're always like "but thats really messed up."

 

[ScarletTanager]

Hang in there. I'm a lot older than you and still sometimes feel awkward or unworthy. Yet maybe consider to join a book club or some other type of local club where you will eventually get used to some familiar faces! After a month or two, despite your shyness, you will know some people's names and they'll know yours. It's not hard, things just take time. You feel like you don't know many people now, but someday you may. Relationships can't be forced, just like you can't force a plant to grow. One day, you will turn around and will have cultivated many friendships and acquaintances from joining different activities. You may feel at first that you are on the periphery of a group, and later realize you are part of its inner circle, or even be asked to run it. No one is there to judge you so allow yourself to be welcomed into whatever you decide to partake in!
But just now, for today, or this week or month, no one can make you speak or take action, you choose when to do this, and whether you'd like to, it's up to you. So be yourself, and when you are interested in something is when it's easier to engage in it. If you want to get out and meet people, and have them know you as well, sometimes it is good to join something that meets once or twice a month that is a more physically active group, like a gardening club or community clean-up or building group. This way, you have a reason to do something novel plus ease into being more social because you will be there to learn something and to keep active. This is an opportunity to get out and make yourself known to others and also you too will recognize more and more people from your community, until you'll be walking on the street one day and realize you know half your town. It might be best to join 2-3 different local groups that meet, each a few times a month, to really see which ones you like. Maybe you think this sounds overly optimistic given your predicament, but strive to give these some chances. These are just ideas but something easy to try! You are not to shy for this, I promise!

 

[hadesgirl777]

this is something i heavily struggle with too. no matter who it is im talking to im always scared of messing up and seeming weird but i end up being awkward anyway, it feels so isolating since every social interaction stresses me out. im sorry you feel like this too, hope it gets better

Thank you, and likewise

I can empathize, i feel like a stranger to people all the time. i think my homicidal feelings have made me feel like I'm someone that's messed up more than the norm (which I guess, is true), people say everyone's messed up, but once I open up, they're always like "but thats really messed up."

I understand, I've actually struggled with those feelings before as well, and it's definitely very difficult to deal with. Hope it gets better for you.