Discussion does anyone else feel less anxious having a plan in place?

[suzylou]

it calms me down a lot, it feels like i have the upper hand in a lot of situations, having the ability to just quit when i want to. i moved away from my old town and there was a bridge there that was my backup plan for when i wanted to ctb but now that im in a new town i feel more anxious and scared without any plans or methods... is this a weird feeling? just ordered SN and that already makes me feel a little better and comforted lmao

 

[ghostspace]

Yes, I feel safer, like I have more control. It's actually helped me hold on longer than I thought I could or originally planned to.

 

[ohhgeeitsme]

I think it's normal. I'm definitely like this. The first time I ever legitimately decided I was going to kill myself, I felt incredible relief and was almost happy for the first time in years. Of course, things have changed since then and have gotten much worse. So now, it doesn't give me a sense of happiness, but there is still a sense of relief I'll get, even if it only comes in waves.

 

[enjolras]

In the past, it had this effect on me, not anymore. Time passed and the trick has worn out. Tried to work out some problems, crashed. Feeling now more conscious than ever and it's not pretty. It only worked the first time. Won me several years. That's a taken. Keep looking for positive changes in your life, if aiming for a persistant relief

 

[theguineapigking]

Definitely for me. I decided years ago on somehow blocking my arteries to my brain(erotic asphyxiation). I thought about using a wire,shoe lace,ratchet strap,or belt. I hadn't decided yet. But I decided that I would look into it. That thought cheered me up even at the job I hate(customer service cashier for years when I decided to do this). Even on my worst of days there, I could literally smile super wide thinking about going home and ending it. Fast-forward to now..I have my rope and my suicide note written. It's so inviting. It's the only thing that really gives me comfort.

 

[LastRide]

It's having my plan laid out and the intention to follow through with it that has given me enough strength to face the days/weeks/months left of my life....every morning I get up and I'll say "fuck, I've woken up, shit, I'm not dead" - but I know that if I want to I can just "opt out" of my life. I have journeyed on so far only because I know it can and WILL end at some point.

 

[LonelySoul]

My final destination is going to be Beachy Head. I want a scenic ending and although I know that someone will have to do the clean-up and recovery, it will not deter me. I love nature and peaceful places and BH is perfect for that. Hopefully I will not land on any shelves or ledges. I have a few places I know where the drop is sheer and chances of survival are slim.

 

[s1mplem3]

Not sure, feel numb.

 

[toomuchtimetodie]

Of course... No one can feel secure with their dicks in the wind

 

[Heartsick Traveler]

Suzylou, I'm relieved to see your post about feeling relieved. Solid preparation reduces anxiety in any circumstance; suicide is no exception. Even more helpful to me than assembling the necessary materials has been crafting the note I intend to leave for my loved ones. It's undergone many revisions and I gain greater clarity and peace with each one.

 

[I’mDone]

Yes, I feel calm now. I can focus on tying up loose ends because I have my method planned.

 

[LastRide]

I now have the method, the date and the place worked out, there is just a few things like my will to take care of.....and it's astonishing, I've never been so calm and happy before, knowing about my final set ctb has given me mental strength and peace of mind...I just look forward soooo much to the date it's getting me wired up that it cannot be sooner !

 

[BipolarExpat]

In the past, it had this effect on me, not anymore. Time passed and the trick has worn out.

This ^

After passing several dates/plans, the jig (psychological trick) is seemingly up.
Repeated procrastinations have destroyed that light sense I used to get knowing the how and when.

 

[faust]

I am a bit worried because my 2 of 3 sources of meto are gone due to corona mess.
And I have not yet ordered anything...
But yes, the knowledge that I won't face my worst times gives me a bit of peace and hope that my final days won't be a torture.