Does anyone else experiencing paralyzing existential dread?

[alexithymia]

I don't understand why the world exists or why I'm here. Why we are here. It makes no sense.

I feel myself falling into a state of depersonalization when I socialize. I don't feel like the other person is real. I can't connect with anyone or anything.

It feels as if no one understands this.

 

[Lethe]

I know exactly what you mean. Do you read a lot of philosophy?

 

[alexithymia]

I know exactly what you mean. Do you read a lot of philosophy?

I actually don't. It fills me with so much dread and discomfort. Do you?

 

[ConfusedandDazed]

I don't understand either. People always say "In the grand scheme it's really small" or something like that. Grand scheme? I don't know. Does it all keep going? If a big bang started it, where's the big bang the other way. I lie awake at night and just wish I had some real answers.

 

[Astral316]

It feels like people are actors on a stage performing around me. They all "get" something I don't... like I'm lost in the script.

 

[woxihuanni]

Nah, I'm good. More worried about pretty concrete things. I trust that as creatures evolved in this universe we are equipped to deal with the dread of it.

 

[Lethe]

I think about these big questions on a daily basis. We live in a universe that tends toward entropy, so something as complex and organized as conscious life arising out of this cosmic chemical bath on its own is mind-boggling. If the big bang expanded outward even a fraction of a unit faster, the atoms and molecules necessary to form life wouldn't have coalesced. Planet needs to be the right distance from the sun to give rise to life, etc etc. The odds of all this happening are infinitesimal... and yet here we are, despite the incredible odds.

Why does our consciousness inhabit the dominant species on the planet? If we had rolled the dice differently in the consciousness lottery, would our consciousness inhabit a cat or bird or something instead?

Why does SOMETHING even exist anyway, as opposed to nothingness? Intuitively, it would seem that nothingness would be much more likely, since it wouldn't even have to bother existing.

 

[woxihuanni]

.... Really... Just to quote Adams: Puddle wakes up one morning and wonders how perfectly the hole it sits in fits it.

Not to say there are not legitimate reasons to be awed, but this is not one of them.

 

[Sunset Limited]

I think about these big questions on a daily basis. We live in a universe that tends toward entropy, so something as complex and organized as conscious life arising out of this cosmic chemical bath on its own is mind-boggling. If the big bang expanded outward even a fraction of a unit faster, the atoms and molecules necessary to form life wouldn't have coalesced. Planet needs to be the right distance from the sun to give rise to life, etc etc. The odds of all this happening are infinitesimal... and yet here we are, despite the incredible odds.

Why does our consciousness inhabit the dominant species on the planet? If we had rolled the dice differently in the consciousness lottery, would our consciousness inhabit a cat or bird or something instead?

Why does SOMETHING even exist anyway, as opposed to nothingness? Intuitively, it would seem that nothingness would be much more likely, since it wouldn't even have to bother existing.

It's a beautiful expression. I read it somewhere. A child raised by wolves. I think he was over 10 years when he was found. The boy never learned to speak. Nothing more than a wolf. As far as I know, the human brain is formatted in the first 2 years. Maybe we're just imitating. I feel that consciousness is an illusion of thinking through words. Would there be consciousness without the words? I do not know

 

[Temporarilyabsurd]

@alexithymia

Existential Angst junky here .

I could rave on about Terror Management Theory and my guru Ernest Becker ...
But he's just some dead academic psychoanalyst cultural / anthrpological commentator ...

So . have a big virtual hug in the bleak dark universe from me .

There are other people out there ( IRL ) trying to negotiate this 'hazard' ( a hazard of awareness in some ways ! ).
It helps to meet them if you can ....

Irrationally I will recount a personal anecdote ( oh do shut up ! )
Well - you don't have to read it ....


Many many years ago I had a friend and we touched on existential angst without knowing the terminology ,
I remeber him saying that friendship is the answer to it ...
I think he was onto it .

The crucial aspect of this story is that "I" , thats ME , was SO FUCKED UP from a childhood of spiritual abuse , that my personal boundaries and my sense of self (and a few other jargon jargon descriptors ( pick your flavour of models) of the human situation ) were so perverted that I wasn't actually available IN MY SELF for a healthy 'personally present' , uncomplicated human friendship and I NEVER HAD BEEN .

So ...
My immense discomfort ... sweating , panic , depression , low self esteem ... COMBINED with the awareness of THE GREAT MYSTERY /(senseless chaos) , was overwhelming because it was a snowball build up of UNRESOLVED trauma and cultural dislocation .

That is waht happened to me .

To this day ( I'm 55yo ) I haven't got in touch with him because he is Uber Successful in the most righteous of ways and I have
pissed my life away via alcoholism . Shit.
The SHAME from my inability to integrate / succeed in society still haunts me ...

It is perverse because I know from memory that he is the sweetest guy and would empathize to quite a high degree
with my life outcomes ... and even be actually interested objectively because of his career in science and the whole
mind / body thing .... but the shame ( from my self hating neurosis factory of a childhood ) still stears my actions .


What I am wall of texting , is that Existential angst can hit you like an avalanche even if you are comfortabley 'set up'
in a cultural niche ( some normal life scenario ... family/ friends / a reliable spiritual faith / ... things that glue people together )
BUT ... if you have some derailing experiences from your upbringing as well , then SHIT GETS WEIRD .

When I have 'done therapy 'in the past ... this is the crucial DUET of anxiety that therapists seem to miss .
Maybe less now ... but it depends how switched on they are .

Sorry if that isn't any help , but thanks for sparking me off , because it reassures me a bit to tell myself to
not beat myself up so much 'cos of real historical events in my life .

 

[MeltingHeart]

I don't understand why the world exists or why I'm here. Why we are here. It makes no sense.

I feel myself falling into a state of depersonalization when I socialize. I don't feel like the other person is real. I can't connect with anyone or anything.

It feels as if no one understands this.

This sounds like alot of the feelings ive read in info of BPD? have you been diagnosed with anything? Or seen a mental health specialist or even just your GP who could refer you to one, or if you are still in your teens... this could also be something you will very likely grow out of-its your mind, hormones and everything playing tricks with you...and most people feel like that in their teens, just some feel that alot more intensely and/ or for longer durations than others. Its probably a sign of good intelligence too, as you are a deep thinker and not a shallow person than takes things at face value and doesnt question anything. Take a philosphy course perhaps? Though that could go either way ha

I know exactly what you mean. Do you read a lot of philosophy?

ha I just thought she/ he either does or should do Phlsphy!

 

[GreyMonkey]

Existential angst is the worst.

I have a hypothesis that it's a rationalised coping mechanism to deal with the deficiency of the second run on Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

Once survival is taken care of, and all of us on here no matter how shitty our life circumstances are not actually living in survival (although our nervous systems may disagree) in that we have shelter and food and water... then we need to move into the second rung: belonging and purpose.

If we don't have a meaningful sense of life purpose then "what's the point of it all" sets in. And if we don't feel like we truly belong, which is a feeling of connection with friends and a romantic partner then also "what's the point" arises.

The impediments to these drives are shame and low self esteem. Which largely come from attachment disorders.

Impaired dopamine pathways: no reward, things seem pointless, no sense of pride.

Impaired attachment: difficulty in feeling connected to others, crushing sense of loneliness.

In these conditions life seems utterly pointless.

It can be repaired yet unless there is a massive internal drive to do so, it cannot without support and our social support systems are woefully inadequate in actually helping resolve these needs.

It's awful.

 

[k75]

It feels like people are actors on a stage performing around me. They all "get" something I don't... like I'm lost in the script.

I've always struggled with this feeling. My whole life, it's like everyone got the memo but me.

 

[woxihuanni]

I've always struggled with this feeling. My whole life, it's like everyone got the memo but me.

I felt this in certain environments, but always trusted it was the environment, not me. And I was correct, because in other environments I was perfectly fine. Takes a bit if trying to find a crowd you can get and who can get you.

 

[Sweet emotion]

I find thinking about this gets me even more depressed. If we are here to live a good life and then we die and there is nothing but blackness, what was the point of living? If you can't be with your loved ones when you die what is the point? It really makes you get lost in your head.

 

[Elias]

Paralyzing is the word, yeah. I feel like a rabbit caught in the headlights of life, but on a constant diffuse level. Sometimes it gets worse, sometimes it's bearable enough to function a lil' bit. And then it comes crashing down again, paralyzing my decision making process, my plans for the future. Every damn day.

 

[sanction]

It all mainly started when our dads simply shot us out his penis hole as a SPERM while having intercourse with our mothers. Then out of the 1 in 100 million chance, we entered our mother's egg. And then ***BOOM*** here we are. Had our dads only jerked off even just once before banging our mothers, and ejaculated on lets say a piece of napkin instead, then our existence would of never happened, and none of this complicated universe/ world matter would mean a single thing to us. Life is really that random sometimes. And now we are stuck here having to deal with life, similar to animals roaming through the wild jungle alone, battling daily for its own safety and survival, and whatever happens, happens

 

[Miljonar]

Maybe its your Ego getting in the way. You want to feel important? Maybe gratitude for being alive helps?
By planning my Exit I feel more relaxed and I save the planet by reducing CO2. Its just thought!

 

[woxihuanni]

Maybe its your Ego getting in the way. You want to feel important? Maybe gratitude for being alive helps?
By planning my Exit I feel more relaxed and I save the planet by reducing CO2. Its just thought!

I don't think I could, at the same time, hold such little regard for myself that I see my death merely as reducing CO2, and have the courage and spirit to go through with fucking death. Some cognitive dissonance there.

 

[White_Room293]

I find thinking about this gets me even more depressed. If we are here to live a good life and then we die and there is nothing but blackness, what was the point of living? If you can't be with your loved ones when you die what is the point? It really makes you get lost in your head.

Who would want to be with someone forever? It gets old. It's like a song that get played to much.

 

[hatelife]

me too, I wish badly I believed in some kind of destiny or god, it would explain n make the pain be bearble, this way its like whas the point even

 

[Heart of Ice]

My apathy clicked on as soon as I realized life is pointless because of death. Nothing matters, as we die anyway. Since then I've been experiencing life from third person, not really caring. Existentialism kills, man.