Does anyone else consider SaSu their only safe space?

[Wolf Girl]

Is this strange? What does that mean, do you suppose--the fact that I only feel safe here? Idk idk...

The internet gets scarier all the time as the world gets scarier. I'm triggered constantly. I'm afraid of the bad thoughts. I'm afraid of my feelings when I have the bad thoughts. My therapist says it's probably OCD, which makes sense because I try to block the thoughts with compulsions like reciting a certain phrase or word in my head.

I'm frightened to click anything, open social media, or check my messages. But when it's time to go on SaSu, I always feel so relieved and safe.

 

[L9my]

as much as people may or may not like the mods here
they do a good job
unlike on other platforms

 

[Dejected 55]

Honestly, I don't consider this a safe space either. I mean, I'm not always looking over my shoulder or paranoid... I just assume anything I ever say can and will be used against me eventually whenever someone thinks they can get something out of me. I never feel safe or like I belong or that I can truly relax or rest anywhere. I live in a constant state of stress at all times just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

 

[PI3.14]

Both SaSu and my psychiatrist office. My psychiatrist understands my philosophy in life and so he won't report me for wanting to CTB or anything.

 

[Cosmophobic]

When your own mind isn't a safe space there are no safe spaces.

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

Yeah , honestly, fucking agreed. I said a little more than a week ago that I want a bit out from the forum, I was a bit out , I even cut of my exposure to bad things that happen in real life and on the internet internet for quite a while now; but today in real life, I've heard shitty things spoken and I've seen shitty things online this night and I got a feeling that I haven't gotten in a while , it was like being a powerless kid, like having a pit in my stomach, reading or hearing shit that I can't unread or unhear, knowing that some bastard is out there in real life or online , doing or talking their sick shit and the appropriate thing to say is " let them have some fun or let them live their life because it doesn't hurt someone?" FUCK THAT.

The pieces of shit that live in permanent bliss and ignorance that shush away any bad thoughts because their empathy can be selective, fuck those people. I have to permanently shield myself from everything by getting back into being as suicidal as detached as possible to be able to even process reality without wanting to cry or feeling like a powerless child; if I don't do this I end up feeling insanely shit like it happened now.

It's like I'm exposing myself to a friend only to end up being violated. The feeling I get is like I'm powerless, I'm like a deer in the headlights, it's not even a pit in my stomach it's just a feeling of "you read that or you heard this person say this and there is nothing you can do, you can't do anything against it" fuck that feeling, I can do anything I want about what pisses me off. That feeling of being powerless I don't want to experience it ever again.

This all happened because for 2-3 weeks, I tried to "get better", I tried to limit my exposure like some therapists suggested (I still have some of the "strategies" written down) and what ended up happening? I felt powerless , more powerless than before, I forgot to hate, I forgot to think about the shitty things that happen in everyday life. For 2 weeks , I've tried limiting my internet access (and to an extent real life too) and it made me feel like shit when I got exposed to the harsh reality. I just need to get back into thinking about awful shit and it won't affect me anymore, I won't get hurt again, I will get angry again, that will be good; anger never failed me in this regard.


I literally opened SaSu for the reason of talking or searching for a subject about this.

 

[CumbriaCTB]

I think I've only seen one mean-spirited post in the year or so I've been lurking on here. Either the mods are doing a great job or this community is one of the few that actually takes "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" to heart.

The real reason SaSu is a safe space however is because it's the one of the only spaces in which you can openly discuss suicidal ideation from a pro-choice perspective (including getting into the nitty-gritty details of specific methods which even some national governments consider "incitement") without being gaslit by pro-lifers bombarding you with generic, feel-good platitudes while they bury their heads in the sand to the real - often chronic - causes of suicidal ideation.

 

[anomalou]

Well, I am quite new here. But with the responses I got so far to my posts, it definitely feels like I am welcome to share my thought here, without too much judgement. And that is something, a lot of the world is missing for me, at the moment.
Actually exploring SaSu made me remember how much I liked Internet Forums before they all died out and I'm now trying to reconnect with old Forums. Some of them have moved to discord and I'm checking that out, although I don't think I'll like it on discord.
So yeah, in a way SaSu is a safe(r) space for some thoughts. I think distinguishing between a safe space and a safer space is important here, as others have mentioned: there is never a fully safe space.

 

[Pluto]

 

[amerie]

Yes and that's why I'm addicted (help)

I've never been able to express myself so freely besides on reddit but even then I'm always warned for not having enough karma or some stupid shit or downvoted to hell over some comment like "thanks"

 

[_AllCatsAreGrey_]

I don't ever share my internal life on any other platform. Even when I share things that others in the community don't understand, it feels like the safest place for me to do so. I know we're a messy bunch and we come with complex and unique baggage, it feels safer than most "normie" platforms. I value our community a lot. It's help me to process more than interactions with mental health providers have been able to facilitate honesty and directness. Indeed, I'd say that being here has helped me be unfiltered with my therapists in a way that didn't seem possible before, which has helped my therapeutic relationships.

I wouldn't call it a safe place, per se, but it's a place where I can be unfiltered in a way I cannot be on other platforms. Even when I feel uncomfortable and unsure, I feel better here than other places when I want to express my inner worlds and why I feel the way I do.

 

[nool]

Yes and no.

I just assume anything I ever say can and will be used against me eventually whenever someone thinks they can get something out of me.

This right here. I feel this so hard.

I keep as much detail about myself here vague as I can to avoid this. I mean, if someone really wanted to, they could probably track me down but I'm doing my best to keep "nool" separate from "me." I trust SaSu to be supportive about my decision to end my life, but I don't trust SaSu enough to give identifying details.