S
Sleepdrifter
Student
- Jun 22, 2020
- 151
I have a really bad habit and attitude with things to the point where I spend most of my life zoned out. This is not the same as fantasy or self-absorption though it is related. It is more like giving up on existing. It is really unhealthy and also sad. I can't seem to get over some things no matter how many times I complain about them. And my situation isn't really that bad.
All I want is a time machine and to start things over. That is impossible so why not focus on something else. But I just feel too upset and after a while it becomes impossible to bear. So I just stop interacting with feelings and forget what it's like to be human.
I feel at the point where throwing myself off a bridge or a cliff, it wouldn't be hard any more. It's not scary because I don't feel the fear. I can't shake the feeling I just want this fucking shit to end, even when I'm happy. I want to ruin everything, even if it's going well.
All I want is a time machine and to start things over. That is impossible so why not focus on something else. But I just feel too upset and after a while it becomes impossible to bear. So I just stop interacting with feelings and forget what it's like to be human.
I feel at the point where throwing myself off a bridge or a cliff, it wouldn't be hard any more. It's not scary because I don't feel the fear. I can't shake the feeling I just want this fucking shit to end, even when I'm happy. I want to ruin everything, even if it's going well.