SuiSqueeze92

SuiSqueeze92

Self Saboteur
Jan 15, 2020
479
I used to have my issues blah blah... still somewhat do, depending on who you ask, but life is just boring as hell sober I find. With a buzz or a high, creativity seems to come out, conversation even more (lol), mundane things are more "fun" etc. I believe starting so young I've probably just trained my body and mind that way because rereading that I sound like a person with a serious problem. It's like I come alive as soon as I start to feel something and my introverted tendencies become extroverted more or less I suppose?
 
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C

calendulo

Enlightened
Jun 13, 2019
1,016
Interesting post. I am agree......Alcohol will always be some magic.
It brings to my mind that sentence of Bukowski....when he talked about his problem with drinking......it was like...... if it happens something good, drinking to celebrate...., if it is bad so drinking to forget it.........and if it nothing happens.......drinking to happens something.................

Good thought and good post....explicit.
 
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ThisIsIt

ThisIsIt

Member
Apr 8, 2020
48
I don't enjoy being sober, and I don't enjoy being not sober.
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
I enjoy being sober; there are lots of facets to it. On the other hand, when I use a substance at least I know what's influencing me. That's worth quite a lot.
 
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LMLN

LMLN

Paragon
Aug 10, 2019
929
Sadly, no.
 
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heartinacage

heartinacage

Member
Mar 7, 2020
6
being sober was part of my personality up until january last year, then i took up drinking because i wanted to see how it feels and how it would affect my thinking because of somthing that happened to me a month prior because of someone else being drunk... long story short i came to the conclusion that my priorities/desires do not depend on whether i am drunk or sober and they do not change, but now i crave the different feeling it gives me, the dizziness and the buzz... it makes things more interesting but i also see it as a punishment
 
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a.n.kirillov

a.n.kirillov

velle non discitur
Nov 17, 2019
1,831
Periodically, yes. But I always buckled in the end and started drinking again, because after the first two drinks I feel at peace. Alcohol is the magic substance for me, it fixes something in my brain chemistry, and I will never try benzos because I know exactly how it will go.
 
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muffin222

muffin222

Enlightened
Mar 31, 2020
1,188
Actually, yes. I used to be stoned constantly, as often as physically possible, every single day for 3 years straight. I was always high- and if I wasn't high, I was plotting and stressing about the next time I could get high. My entire life was spent in a haze. It was fun and interesting in a lot of ways, but over time as my tolerance grew, the negative affects my consumption was having on my life became more pronounced. I was forgetful, passive, disorganized, my diet was poor, I reeked of pot constantly, I was paranoid fairly often in the later stages, and my family and friends often complained about how "out of it" I was when I spent time with them because I could only socialize while high. In the past 3 months, I've drastically cut my consumption. I've gone from smoking 3.5-7 grams a day to one to two hits a day, if even that. It's been wonderful, tbh.

At first, I felt extremely bored and disoriented and...disenchanted with life while sober because the weed amplified all of my senses, but that apathy has faded with time; I now find myself enjoying life mostly sober with a clear head. I'm able to process my thoughts more clearly as well as streamline my daily routine so that I can function with less chaos and confusion.
The downside (in a way) is that the weed was numbing a LOT of emotional pain and repressed trauma, so now that I'm sober most of the time, wave after wave of unprocessed emotions keep surfacing. It feels never-ending and is a big contributor to my suicidal thoughts. The amount of pain I was suppressing with weed is astounding. Now that I'm not numbing myself anymore, I'm being bombarded with it.

So, yeah. It's extremely complicated, but overall life is better for me sober for the most part, with a little bit of weed interspersed each day as a bonus.
 
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toomuchtimetodie

"to be overly conscious is a sickness"
Mar 13, 2020
296
I was dependent on alcohol for years. I'm somewhat jealous of people who are able to drink round the clock and it doesn't effect them to badly, physically or mentally. My withdrawals were so bad It was an absolute living hell mentally. I don't think I'll even have a drink a again before offing myself. The years of abuse left me with neural damage that after a few days I'm not myself and the thought of both living and dying are terrifying. I sat on the edge of a bed one time for two weeks with no sleep, just IV drips, it seemed like a thousand years.
 
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SuiSqueeze92

SuiSqueeze92

Self Saboteur
Jan 15, 2020
479
Periodically, yes. But I always buckled in the end and started drinking again, because after the first two drinks I feel at peace. Alcohol is the magic substance for me, it fixes something in my brain chemistry, and I will never try benzos because I know exactly how it will go.

Sadly I know exactly what you mean... wait, is that sad? Idk. That's exactly what it takes me and it's like my annoying habits within myself just kinda go away, my mind doesn't obsess over things. It is self destructive, but it also is my "reward" for actually getting off my ass and doing something, as much as I would love to just sleep and rot away. If I'm broke and I can't drink or something, I don't have an issue is why I hate if someone thinks I'm an alcoholic, but at the same time.. I keep on keepin on knowing that eventually it'll probably just make things worse.
Actually, yes. I used to be stoned constantly, as often as physically possible, every single day for 3 years straight. I was always high- and if I wasn't high, I was plotting and stressing about the next time I could get high. My entire life was spent in a haze. It was fun and interesting in a lot of ways, but over time as my tolerance grew, the negative affects my consumption was having on my life became more pronounced. I was forgetful, passive, disorganized, my diet was poor, I reeked of pot constantly, I was paranoid fairly often in the later stages, and my family and friends often complained about how "out of it" I was when I spent time with them because I could only socialize while high. In the past 3 months, I've drastically cut my consumption. I've gone from smoking 3.5-7 grams a day to one to two hits a day, if even that. It's been wonderful, tbh.

At first, I felt extremely bored and disoriented and...disenchanted with life while sober because the weed amplified all of my senses, but that apathy has faded with time; I now find myself enjoying life mostly sober with a clear head. I'm able to process my thoughts more clearly as well as streamline my daily routine so that I can function with less chaos and confusion.
The downside (in a way) is that the weed was numbing a LOT of emotional pain and repressed trauma, so now that I'm sober most of the time, wave after wave of unprocessed emotions keep surfacing. It feels never-ending and is a big contributor to my suicidal thoughts. The amount of pain I was suppressing with weed is astounding. Now that I'm not numbing myself anymore, I'm being bombarded with it.

So, yeah. It's extremely complicated, but overall life is better for me sober for the most part, with a little bit of weed interspersed each day as a bonus.

That's exactly why with drinking I've made it more of a "reward". Keeps me from going too crazy with it like I had done in the past. Also keeps me from going back to other options I've also taken in the past, so yeah it's not good ... but neither is being a pill head again with extreme impulsive tendencies or lack of care for myself or others.
 
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terry_a_davis

terry_a_davis

Warlock
Dec 28, 2019
707
I prefer being high, mdma specifically, but with frequent use the brain changes and adapts to the drug, tolerance occurs, damage occurs. So i must be sober. If i could take a drug with effects similar to mdma without the negative effects i'd take it every day all day apart from bedtime so i'd be able to sleep
 
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Return2Dust

Return2Dust

Experienced
Sep 28, 2019
246
I've been sober 15+ years and I don't like it right now with the isolation. I can't imagine drinking again, but the thought of it sounds appealing. The days might go faster.
 
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OhItsZemblanity

OhItsZemblanity

Member
Apr 12, 2020
22
I hate being sober. But I also have a lot of issues with self control when it comes to drugs or alcohol. I just...don't stop until it runs out. It's nice feeling extroverted, loud, and loving towards pretty much everyone. It's gotten me praying to the porcelain gods on more occasions than I can count, but I'll keep going back to it. I just don't have the money anymore to drink like I used to. Having a beer or a glass of something has zero appeal to me. I need to be wasted or sober, there's no in-between.
 
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Foresight

Foresight

Enlightened
Jun 14, 2019
1,397
I very much so like being sober at this point. I use to drink and smoke cigarettes daily to ease my anxiety and escape my circumstances. I ended up losing my health for a few years. Now balance and a clear head feels like a miracle so I prefer sobriety

I do use plant medicine. I'll use weed/shrooms as a therapy aid a handful of times a year.
 
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Arrow

Arrow

Rewrite
May 1, 2020
769
well i've never been not sober, and i'm definitely not enjoying myself, so i guess not
 
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LastRide

LastRide

Specialist
Jan 23, 2020
369
I'm so rarely sober that when I am for once it almost feels like an intersting new drug that I haven't tried yet ! I mean sober in the sense of not just alcohol, but also the meds I'm taking because of my health issues. These on their own, given the quantity I'm up to, would count as a high....when mixed with alcohol and something else then wow...sometimes cool, sometimes bizarre !
 
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a.n.kirillov

a.n.kirillov

velle non discitur
Nov 17, 2019
1,831
I'm so rarely sober that when I am for once it almost feels like an intersting new drug that I haven't tried yet ! I mean sober in the sense of not just alcohol, but also the meds I'm taking because of my health issues. These on their own, given the quantity I'm up to, would count as a high....when mixed with alcohol and something else then wow...sometimes cool, sometimes bizarre !
What meds are you on?
 
T

TotallyIsolated

Mage
Nov 25, 2019
590
I cant be bothered with alcohol. The good stuff is too expensive to swig, and too much just gives me a headache.

I prefer video games! :P
 
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a.n.kirillov

a.n.kirillov

velle non discitur
Nov 17, 2019
1,831
Tramadol, cortisone, alprazolam, meloxicam, bromazepam, metamizole (that's the ones prescribed by my GP....)
Drug pushers, eh? Why cortisone?
I cant be bothered with alcohol. The good stuff is too expensive to swig, and too much just gives me a headache.

I prefer video games! :P
Beer is cheap and good ... and a bottle of excellent red wine can be purchased for 5-10€
 
A

Ange_Fatigue

Member
Jan 20, 2020
67
Alcool consumption make a nasty mess in my life. I znjoy being drunk but it really put me in troubles.
 
a.n.kirillov

a.n.kirillov

velle non discitur
Nov 17, 2019
1,831
I got Addison's disease. If I don't take cortisone every day at fixed hours my blood pressure drops to zero and I pass out. And end up in the ER.
Oh okay. So can you live a relatively normal life with the disease?
 
Didymus

Didymus

Clutching at invisible straws
Dec 11, 2018
348
Actually yes, having a hobby and a broad range of interests I could potentially fill the rest of my life with joy without any other additional means.
I do occasionally have a bottle of cheap red wine, but drink just enough to get a buzz. Too much would ruin it for me.
 
Bct

Bct

Disqualified from Being Human
Apr 20, 2020
419
I don't like how alcohol taste and when I'm drunk I'm just basically really sleepy (sadly, not forever), so I prefer being sober.
 
nigelhernandez

nigelhernandez

Experienced
Apr 14, 2020
270
I don't like how alcohol taste and when I'm drunk I'm just basically really sleepy (sadly, not forever), so I prefer being sober.

Have you tried any drugs besides alcohol. It's pretty shite in the grand scheme of the potential recreational drugs out there.

I personally like benzos, ecstasy, nicotine
 
Zozo

Zozo

Member
May 4, 2020
45
I used to take any drug I could get my hands on because I HATED sobriety. Without chemical assistance I always felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I favored heroin and amphetamines, and felt like I could do anything on them. After 15 years of using and getting off that stuff looking back, I realized that I was the only one having fun and being entertained by my behavior on that stuff. I realize now why I lost all my friends and done absolutely nothing with my life during that time.
Sobtiety sucks too though, dont get me wrong. 90% of the time im depressed, withdrawn, and reclusive. But there is a silver lining. I have done some of my best work musically while in a bout of suicidal depression.
In conclusion, being sober sucks..and not being sober sucks. Without trying to sound cliche, life sucks in general.
 
Bct

Bct

Disqualified from Being Human
Apr 20, 2020
419
Have you tried any drugs besides alcohol. It's pretty shite in the grand scheme of the potential recreational drugs out there.

I personally like benzos, ecstasy, nicotine

I haven't tried any drugs because I'm broke and don't have connections to try any, LOL
 

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