Discussion Does Anybody Else Feel Like Life is Not REal

[enlightened_suicide]

Here lately my dreams have been more real than my "waking life"
I really don't know how to explain to others I've been trying to sleep more,
but it's like my "dream people" are giving me the answers and I keep refusing
to listen to them all they want me to do is WAKE UP, and then join them.

They leave little messages in my waking life telling me this place isn't real,
but I do my best to ignore them and stay for another day. I know I shouldn't
ignore them but I'm finally ready to take my leap of faith again, I can feel it.

Well the call has got strong I've been using some benzos I jus bought to sleep more
for the past few days, they warned me a while back, I would not stay asleep past April.
These Are my final days and I'm finally at peace with myself excited for the next stage.

M E D I T A T E//T H I N K F O R Y O U R S E L F//T H I R D E Y E

 

[Kumachan]

How do you wake up? CTB?

 

[nitrogen]

How do you wake up? CTB?

Well, according to the movie Inception, that's exactly how you wake up. The catch is, you don't know after CTB, whether you simply enter a shallower level of the dream or truly wake up, or die, or reincarnate, or enter the limbo.

Most of us don't have a totem.

@enlightened_suicide Hi OP, cool avatar, is that the Donnie Darko rabbit? Supernatural entities usually don't have your best interests in mind .

I don't believe life is real mostly based on cognitive science research, here's one of many examples:

The Evolutionary Argument Against Reality | Quanta Magazine

The cognitive scientist Donald Hoffman believes that evolution and quantum mechanics conspire to make objective reality an illusion.

www.quantamagazine.org

There's another movie called "The Triangle" that crewed with my mind and made my existential crisis even worse. The main character is stuck in her personal hell, like Siphyphus in an infinite loop of death and rebirth. Here's the free movie link if anyone is interested:

Triangle (2009)

A woman's yacht trip turns to terror when she hits a storm in and her group is forced to board a seemingly deserted ocean liner to get to safety.

tubitv.com

 

[MotherOfCats]

I was convinced I was in a dream and had to ctb to wake up. Turns out it was just bipolar!

 

[Epsilon0]

No. To me life is real. Too real, in fact. I wouldn't mind it if it were a bit more movie-like.

 

[Kumachan]

What happens when I truly wake up, i wonder, is there a world like this one?...

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Those of us who grasp the reality of the illusion are more capable of navigating life in an absurd universe where truth only exists when the illusory reality observes it to exist.
Confusing? That's kind of the point...

 

[enlightened_suicide]

Exactly , thats one of my favorite movies, it has warped my question of reality and ever sense i started meditating and taking psychs it makes me question everything. Lmaooo but I do carry a totem though, its a gold coin that says "memento mori" , how ironic?

and I finally realized that some of these movies are blantantly telling us to kill ourselves to wake up to a better world.

 

[MotherOfCats]

Sometimes I feel like the last time I OD'd in the hospital and I never woke up,
the only way to wake up is to CTB.

As far as I know, this is reality and we are awake. Ctb will just end it all, not start it all.

 

[enlightened_suicide]

I was convinced I was in a dream and had to ctb to wake up. Turns out it was just bipolar!

I think that's how they categorize us to keep us from seeing it. I've tried before but i think there is noway this place is real, and if it is it's about to come to an end
I still woudn't mind if it ends it all that's what I'm hoping for anyway

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

Sometimes it's so bad I am trying to wake up, haven't worked yet

 

[MotherOfCats]

I think that's how they categorize us to keep us from seeing it. I've tried before but i think there is noway this place is real, and if it is it's about to come to an end
I still woudn't mind if it ends it all that's what I'm hoping for anyway

I'm just worried that you're not thinking clearly, like I was. When I was there, it felt like I'd finally seen the light and other people were blind not to see the truth. How long have you felt like this for?

 

[enlightened_suicide]

I'm just worried that you're not thinking clearly, like I was. When I was there, it felt like I'd finally seen the light and other people were blind not to see the truth. How long have you felt like this for?

A long time,
i used to take meds but stopped bc it's just trying to keep us controlled and asleep

I really am peace with it though.
I'm thinking of leaving tonight.

 

[toomuchtimetodie]

I just don't think you 'know' anything and basically the only reason to exist is if you're willing to play the possible game or exist for your emotions here and now.

 

[Deathcabforugly]

This is gonna sound weird but I think that I've lived my life before in another universe. And every time I live the same life I kill myself and end up having to repeat it again

 

[enlightened_suicide]

This is gonna sound weird but I think that I've lived my life before in another universe. And every time I live the same life I kill myself and end up having to repeat it again

I've had this thought too, I even had an acid trip that that I killed myself and it looped different situations for like 12 hours
it was like it was letting me see the outcome and choose which death I wanted.

 

[Deathcabforugly]

I've had this thought too, I even had an acid trip that that I killed myself and it looped different situations for like 12 hours
it was like it was letting me see the outcome and choose which death I wanted.

*chills on the back of my neck*

 

[bpdandme]

I've had times staring at the ceiling for ages forcing myself to wake up, sometimes I feel like I'm waking up when I'm asleep and I force myself to stay in my body. I suffer with depersonalisation/derealisation and there is a reddit thread for it to find like minded people and advice. I am scared of waking up in a worse reality.

 

[enlightened_suicide]

*chills on the back of my neck*

or that since Everything is "predetermined" we have already lived out our life and that's why its so hard to make desicions , because its like the butterfly effect.
at the end of your life its a playback movie of your life but it's like a choose you on adventure book, an the movie shows you each choice and how it would/could have turned out.
Even bigger plot twist: This is the cheat sheet your just watching your life so you have a headstart in the next round

 

[Deathcabforugly]

I'm BPD too. There seems to be a lot of us on here

 

[RedDEE]

In Buddhism, it's poised that existence is not real, but here's the catch - it's also poised that non-existence also is not real.

The life we think we're living is certaintly just some made up shit. Our brains are dumb and we're too stupid to realize we literally do not exist and this isn't happening at all.

Existence isn't real. And when you die, there is non-existence. Non-existence isn't real, either. Because for something to be real, it has to exist.

But nothing exists. We are not. We don't realize that nothing exists because of some weird glitch, it's all just misunderstanding. And after we die, and there is non-existence, we won't realize nothing exists.

We don't realize nothing exists while we're alive, and we don't realize nothing exists after we're dead.

 

[Yomyom]

@enlightened_suicide
Have you consider that you might have a Derealization?

Derealization - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

 

[The Dark Chaos]

This is gonna sound weird but I think that I've lived my life before in another universe. And every time I live the same life I kill myself and end up having to repeat it again

Noo it doesn't sounds weird..I once had an accident (a small one, unfortunately) and after that dayy onwards everytime I'm travelling..its like I'm just one step awayy from death..likee I'm just about to crash into another vehicle or somethingg but there's this invisible force which kind of pushes me away? or something..Before the accident I had never witnessed a mishap in front of me but after the accident its likee..I almost everyy once in a feww dayys I'm witnessing so manyy accidents..And the mainn thing is..there's this voice inside me which tells me that I should have been there in that place, bleeding, with broken limbs and stuff like that..Its like it calls me towards deathh, towards answers or something..But there's this invisible force whichh kind of pushes me awayy from it..And I reallyy want this force to just vanishh awayy or somethingg..I knoww it doesn't makes sense but I just wanted to share

 

[darkhorse256]

Life is very real to me. It's full of challenges and the "happy" moments just distract you from the challenges you are inevitably going to face.

 

[The Dark Chaos]

or that since Everything is "predetermined" we have already lived out our life and that's why its so hard to make desicions , because its like the butterfly effect.
at the end of your life its a playback movie of your life but it's like a choose you on adventure book, an the movie shows you each choice and how it would/could have turned out.
Even bigger plot twist: This is the cheat sheet your just watching your life so you have a headstart in the next round

That's the thingg..we don't know if we are following a 'predetermined path' or not..People believe in fate. Sometimes I want to but I can't. I can't believe that we all walk some path towards somethingg..I don't wannaa be a character in a videogame, controlled by others..I want to believe in both, fate and free will. Meaning, there's a path, but we're free to veer away from it. The only problem is that there's no way to know whose path we're following at any given moment. Our own? Or fate's? What happens when someone else wipes our path clean and we're left with no road to follow? Is that fate? Is that when free will kicks in?
I just know that I don't wannaa follow a predetermined path or be a part of a dream or a game..I want my own free will and I think maybe ending this life will actually bring me towards a reality. Towards a real life. Cuz this just feels like a dream or a game and that we are nothing but pawns..
Ps- I know its not making sense but I reallyy believe in it..
I think life is a game just like all the other games.The only difference is that life is the only game that we don't realize is a game.

 

[Taki]

Unfortunately no. It would be great if I had a hunch this wasn't real.

 

[Moreofthesamepain]

I was thinking on this the other day. If what we do and what happens to us predestined, are we predestined to ctb, or is it really our choice to ctb? Or is it just "our time" by our own hand? Are we predestined to have the things happen to us give us ptsd, anxiety, depression? Or did we just pull that unlucky wild card somehow? If so, doesn't that take away sin as it was God's plan that brought us here in the first place? If its predestined, so are our sins, right? And if so, that's a pretty jacked up thing for our God or deity to do to us. Throw a dart and choose me, or you? Are we paying for something via karma? Or is it all our choices, or just cosmic coincidence? Is everything by chance, or is nothing by chance?

 

[Deleted member 10475]

It's real to me, sadly but sometimes I feel like there's something more, I guess?

I had a really vivid dream a few weeks ago and it felt like I was "waking up" from this life. All these people in my dream (who I had never seen more) were welcoming me back? Like that was were I should've been, and everything felt like home.

I remember waking up super upset because I didn't want to leave.

 

[enlightened_suicide]

It's real to me, sadly but sometimes I feel like there's something more, I guess?

I had a really vivid dream a few weeks ago and it felt like I was "waking up" from this life. All these people in my dream (who I had never seen more) were welcoming me back? Like that was were I should've been, and everything felt like home.

I remember waking up super upset because I didn't want to leave.

We dream on a higher plane, it's like we get to "taste test" the astrals when we sleep.

I've also been having these and i write them in my journal but sometimes words cant describe it, i just end up writing it was real life like there is a whole other life we go to when were sleeping . I think that's our "transition" into the afterlife

I was thinking on this the other day. If what we do and what happens to us predestined, are we predestined to ctb, or is it really our choice to ctb? Or is it just "our time" by our own hand? Are we predestined to have the things happen to us give us ptsd, anxiety, depression? Or did we just pull that unlucky wild card somehow? If so, doesn't that take away sin as it was God's plan that brought us here in the first place? If its predestined, so are our sins, right? And if so, that's a pretty jacked up thing for our God or deity to do to us. Throw a dart and choose me, or you? Are we paying for something via karma? Or is it all our choices, or just cosmic coincidence? Is everything by chance, or is nothing by chance?

I could not have said it better myself! EXACTLY!! <3

 

[depressedpolyaddict]

Well, life feels real to me but I feel like I am just a spectator watching everyone around me live a good life.