Venting Doctors don’t seem to share my drive to spare myself pain. They just want money.

[donttellmybf2004]

My doctor, who I previously liked and trusted, told me an MRI showed a lesion on my pituitary gland which is responsible for a chronic migraine which has lasted a full month.
Sumatriptan did not help, I asked for the next step in migraine treatment. She prescribed me a very high dose of hydrocodone.
I've shared with her my extensive family history of addiction. She knows I am terrified of the suffering a person can undergo when struggling under the burden of an opiate addiction. She knows my entire childhood is stained with my parents suffering, and the abuse and neglect I suffered that was a side product of my parents demons. Being an addict doenst make you bad, just like having cancer or depression doenst make you bad. It's a neutral medical fact. But being an addict does make you suffer. I've lost dozens of loved ones to that suffering.
And yet the second thing she tried for my migraine was an opiate. When I was 18 I went on opiates for the recovery from abdominal surgery. It was miserable. I gave myself a large scar on my knee as a promise to myself that apart from severe medical necessity, I wouldn't let doctors give me opiates for medical issues that have other solutions.
It scares me how willing and able doctors are in America to prescribe me opiates without even telling me, without even discussing it.
It's hard for me to attempt to seek medical care when all I want to do is CTB. And doctors just make it worse.

 

[derpyderpins]

Not what I was expecting to read, but it speaks to the inefficiency of the medical field. Might as well have AI make prescriptions if they are just going to give the same by-the-books treatment no matter who the patient is.

The real issue, which is very relevant with mental health and suicide hotline-type resources, is that they really don't care about your suffering, what they care about is getting you functional. There's very little empathy for the pain/struggle itself if people don't feel it directly. Then you can insert theories about everyone being cogs in the machine, etc.