Discussion Do you want to say goodbye?

[LastFlowers]

If no one would be able to stop you or lock you up for opening up about plans to CTB, would you want the chance and time to say goodbye?
If there was sympathy and understanding during your openness, would having some final quality time with certain people-who would then be aware-be appealing to anyone here?

I was watching a YouTube video of this very authentic guy talking about how his brother commited suicide and part of what he regrets the most is the fact that his brother was forced to slink away and commit the act alone, in secret, scared and isolated. (Obviously his method was desperate and shrouded as well, and the aftermath was not pretty).

Though I don't think I'd want anyone to see me full on/in person because of the nature of my issues, I regret that I cannot say goodbye in any honest way. Or give anyone the chance to say goodbye in return.
I would probably still want to be alone during the act because of my ambivalent feelings toward my family and the world at large, but it still feels like there will be so much unfinished business and things unsaid.

 

[Ruffian]

If I could be frank and the person could handle it, I definitely would. OMG it would be amazing to talk to my sister or even have here there during, but I wouldn't let her or anyone else do it. Lord knows even if she was cool with it, someone outside may want to freak out and try to implicate her. So I would definitely do the act alone, given the pro-lifers who will use any excuse to strike up a crusade against free thoughts and actions. I watched a video where a friend was saying she had a friend who heard voices and was never "normal." She was saying she wished he would have at least called to say goodbye. She was even telling him to at least get a plastic bag, put her name and number in it, so she would know he had done something. I have a fear that one of my friends will die and I won't find out because no one could get in their phones. I felt really bad for that woman because they were friends since they were little and she said she had always known that day would come for him. And it did. Also it wasn't some last minute thing she said to make herself look important, you could tell she had processed things and came out believing it on the other side of her grief.

 

[Faraway1990]

I would yes but I know if I told anyone I'd get laughed at or be put under watch lol, there's a couple friends who I know mostly online I'll probably say goodbye to on my last day but unfortunately the best option for me is to leave letters and a video message for 1 person I know the feeling of things unsaid. Be kind to yourself do the best you can with family and friends and all my best to you my friend in whatever you do

 

[Misanthrope]

Yes it pains me I cannot say goodbye to my loved ones and that it will all be a nasty surprise, although perhaps not an entirely unexpected one. There is much I want to convey and implore of them when it comes to dealing with my absence. I don't want grief to ruin some of their progress in life or set them back too far. It is all just so awful it has come to this. However, there is no way to do so meaningfully person to person. As an interventionist response is guaranteed, but would resolve nothing, improve nothing and I am not in the mood for boredom and condescension either. Because at the end of the day my quality of life is compromised beyond my ability to accept any longer. No positive spin will fix that. Life feels like holding my hand in fire. Seems logical to me to want to withdraw it when all avenues of respite have consistently failed and modern medicine tells me that the fire is destined to get hotter. So there is nothing for it but to resent these circumstances and shut my mouth and try and make extra time for them while I am still here. It is immensely isolating as a result and depressing I am choosing my pain over my love. I would love to say so much to them and hug them goodbye, maybe have a final meal with them and reminisce on old times. Some terminal people have living funerals, I would have liked that but I am not terminal. Because Euthanasia is not an option here the circumstances to do so just do not exist. Dying is going to be a lonely process. Feels even more depressing that this site is my only remaining bastion that softens that alonesss. It shouldn't be this way but it is.

 

[Oblivion Lover]

I don't have anyone in my life that I would want to say goodbye. There are a few people who love me such as my mother, but I can't say the feeling is reciprocal. I'm just too angry and sad to be able to care about their feelings. I think they will be better without me around.

 

[Superfluous]

I have said goodbye to my friends. They're obviously sad, but also understanding.

 

[Egddios]

The next time I see my father, I know it will be the last time we spend together. I'm not telling him of my plans or saying goodbye, but knowing in my heart it will be the last time does weigh heavy on my heart. I'll see my dog one last time, too. Getting choked up just thinking of his little face and his endless love.

If there was a heaven, I'd hope to be reunited with my dog, where we could be together always. I'll die with his picture beside me, wearing the necklace I always wear which bears his name. My sweet, sweet boy.