I absolutely don't want to die, which perhaps puts me in a minority here, but very shortly I may have no other option. I have two beautiful young children that I know would be devastated (and who will perhaps grow up having a harder life because their dad left them so young). I cry every time I think about how they'll react when they're told I'm gone. But like the OP, I've made a series of bad financial decisions in my life and I've recently lost my job. I've got about 6 months severance to see if I can find something, but so far there are zero opportunities in my field and I'm not trained for anything outside my field. Every day of rejections I slip farther in to depression. I'm talking with my therapist but all he can offer are platitudes about it not being "that bad," when he doesn't understand that the only thing that can save me is getting a job. I'll hold out and keep trying until I'm down to my last dollar. Then I'll be writing some letters, recording some videos for my kids, then ctb. I've got a decent life insurance policy that will provide for my kids for a few years and I know that my parents would take in my ex and the kids to help them get back on their feet. So I don't want to, but dying may be the only way I'm able to provide for my kids. Having their dad unemployed and sleeping in a box along the highway is a worse option.