Do you think you're too hard on yourself? Would you ever say the mean, negative things you say to yourself to others?

[LuzurPhagget]

I think I'm an asshole to myself a lot I guess. But maybe I deserve it? I dunno.

I just feel when you're incapable of enjoying life and have nothing to offer and you even pose some kind danger to those around (whether intentional or accidental), the right and honorable thing to do would be to fuck off/ CTB.

I was told to never say something negative to yourself that you wouldn't say to another person. But maybe if that person was as despicable as myself, the right thing to do would be to tell that person to give up? Some people just shouldn't be here. That's the harsh truth. They're doing nobody a favour by sticking around. I dunno.

 

[DepressionsAHo]

Well, I'm a huge piece of shit so I'm a cunt to myself.
I'd say it if I genuinely meant it and I have to other people. Only when I know they deserve it though. There's 1 person seperate from me who I know who for sure doesn't deserve anything in this world (Thief, abuser liar etc that creature was) There's others who I think are stupid but I wouldn't say you deserve to not be here to them

 

[alexithymia]

I've been told I'm too hard on myself. I definitely beat myself up over and over and over and over for my mistakes. There's a voice in my head that tells me I'm stupid, useless, a horrible person, blah, blah, blah.

I'd like to think I'm pretty compassionate towards others. It just feels different when it's me. I know it doesn't make sense, but I simply don't feel like a part of the human race and I definitely don't feel deserving of love.

 

[sadgirl2002]

I constantly criticise myself and put myself down. I'm a piece of garbage and I deserve it anyway. I'm really hard on myself but easy on others.

 

[GreyMonkey]

Yep.

This is a shame core. Internalised negative dialogue generally set up through traumatic childhood. Either overt abuse from caregivers or internalizing their inadequacies as a childhood if they don't fully own it themselves.

Throw bullying into the mix and we have a precarious internal self dialogue, an internalised abuser. It's very hard to do life with this.

 

[Partial-Elf]

I think I'm an asshole to myself a lot I guess. But maybe I deserve it? I dunno.

I just feel when you're incapable of enjoying life and have nothing to offer and you even pose some kind danger to those around (whether intentional or accidental), the right and honorable thing to do would be to fuck off/ CTB.

I was told to never say something negative to yourself that you wouldn't say to another person. But maybe if that person was as despicable as myself, the right thing to do would be to tell that person to give up? Some people just shouldn't be here. That's the harsh truth. They're doing nobody a favour by sticking around. I dunno.

For me it seems like it has to do with levels of commitment and distance. The further someone is from me and the less committed I am to them the rosier my view of them is. When I get closer and more committed, I start to be more critical. My romantic relationships have all ended because once they've gotten to a certain level of closeness, there are things about them I can't look past. Same thing with family–I've kept them at a certain distance because when I try to develop a closer relationship I start to get very critical of them for mostly valid reasons.

Then of course the ultimate commitment and closeness is MYSELF. And I am overly critical and a perfectionist when it comes to myself. The thing I struggle with more than anything is blaming myself for past decisions that turned out badly (career choice primarily, but other fuckups as well). I just can't forgive myself for the opportunities I wasted. No point in continuing as a failure always thinking about what could've been.

 

[Revan16]

There's my story, for what it matters.

Tldr; yes i am an asshole and i've been a massive dick to someone who actually cared.

Story.
I had a decent family life and childhood, good older siblings. I am the youngest. My dad was sometimes an asshole but you know, mom was there to balance thay out. My mom died when i was 12 and that broke the family. My dad was verbally abusive a lot of times.

Anyway, i always had issues with 'serious' relationships, which is why i've always preferred fucking around. I met this girl earlier this year, and it's the first time i've been comfortable talking about my loss, been comfortable to cry about it. Mind you, i'm 31.

A month ago, out of nothing, i got super mad and kicked her out of the house in the middle of the night. She still came back afterwards because i said sorry and i'm gonna get fucked over rent if she doesn't stay in the house.

I took a lot of benadryl, and she took me to the doctor's, took care of me, made me food i could eat after that despite not knowing how to cook. Bought me medicines, and helped a lot.

Last week i smashed her phone, which has all of her memories, out of an outburst again. There was no valid reason for it.

I've been bullying her and being a dick to her for no reason whatsoever.

So yeah, that's my main reason for wanting to CTB - for being a dick to others. And i know i won't stop being a bully, even tho i know i'm not one. Something's fucked in my head.

The reason i haven't ctb yet, is because i'm waiting for my paycheck to refund her deposit money and also pay for her phone repair.

Am i an asshole to myself? Yes.
Am i an asshole to others? Even more so.

 

[White_Room293]

I think I'm an asshole to myself a lot I guess. But maybe I deserve it? I dunno.

I just feel when you're incapable of enjoying life and have nothing to offer and you even pose some kind danger to those around (whether intentional or accidental), the right and honorable thing to do would be to fuck off/ CTB.

I was told to never say something negative to yourself that you wouldn't say to another person. But maybe if that person was as despicable as myself, the right thing to do would be to tell that person to give up? Some people just shouldn't be here. That's the harsh truth. They're doing nobody a favor by sticking around. I dunno.

If I'm depressed then sure, I am very hard on myself. And I am quite often a giant asshole towards other people but I'm somewhat caring deep down.

 

[Squiddy]

I've been told that I'm too hard on myself and it's true

 

[CursedForDisaster]

Yes and no. I hate myself but I'm no one to judge others, I didn't live their experience

 

[sleepy dog]

Yes. Hard on myself. Hard on others but only in my thoughts. I try much harder to be positive. But I was never taught how to think that way, and never taught how to be supportive. And as GreyMonkey said, "Internalised negative dialogue generally set up through traumatic childhood." Physical, verbal, psychological, every kind of abuse. My parents tried to kill me, others have also. No I am not hallucinating or false memories. Many shocking memories started when I turned 36. Trying to just live with the memories now but the mental health fuckheads keep gluing me to them.

 

[LuzurPhagget]

I've been told I'm too hard on myself. I definitely beat myself up over and over and over and over for my mistakes. There's a voice in my head that tells me I'm stupid, useless, a horrible person, blah, blah, blah.

I'd like to think I'm pretty compassionate towards others. It just feels different when it's me. I know it doesn't make sense, but I simply don't feel like a part of the human race and I definitely don't feel deserving of love.

Yeah. The same. Definitely don't belong here. Tired of pretending.

For me it seems like it has to do with levels of commitment and distance. The further someone is from me and the less committed I am to them the rosier my view of them is. When I get closer and more committed, I start to be more critical. My romantic relationships have all ended because once they've gotten to a certain level of closeness, there are things about them I can't look past. Same thing with family–I've kept them at a certain distance because when I try to develop a closer relationship I start to get very critical of them for mostly valid reasons.

Then of course the ultimate commitment and closeness is MYSELF. And I am overly critical and a perfectionist when it comes to myself. The thing I struggle with more than anything is blaming myself for past decisions that turned out badly (career choice primarily, but other fuckups as well). I just can't forgive myself for the opportunities I wasted. No point in continuing as a failure always thinking about what could've been.

Interesting. I'm curious about the psychology behind that. Maybe it's just the fear of closeness that prompts you to find faults in others thus enabling the distance?

And I'd like to think there is some kind of "masterplan" or that things happen because they were supposed to happen. So no real reason to get hung up on stuff. Just let shit go. It's unfortunate when you realize you're a fucktard though, incapable of learning from the past though lol

There's my story, for what it matters.

Tldr; yes i am an asshole and i've been a massive dick to someone who actually cared.

Story.
I had a decent family life and childhood, good older siblings. I am the youngest. My dad was sometimes an asshole but you know, mom was there to balance thay out. My mom died when i was 12 and that broke the family. My dad was verbally abusive a lot of times.

Anyway, i always had issues with 'serious' relationships, which is why i've always preferred fucking around. I met this girl earlier this year, and it's the first time i've been comfortable talking about my loss, been comfortable to cry about it. Mind you, i'm 31.

A month ago, out of nothing, i got super mad and kicked her out of the house in the middle of the night. She still came back afterwards because i said sorry and i'm gonna get fucked over rent if she doesn't stay in the house.

I took a lot of benadryl, and she took me to the doctor's, took care of me, made me food i could eat after that despite not knowing how to cook. Bought me medicines, and helped a lot.

Last week i smashed her phone, which has all of her memories, out of an outburst again. There was no valid reason for it.

I've been bullying her and being a dick to her for no reason whatsoever.

So yeah, that's my main reason for wanting to CTB - for being a dick to others. And i know i won't stop being a bully, even tho i know i'm not one. Something's fucked in my head.

The reason i haven't ctb yet, is because i'm waiting for my paycheck to refund her deposit money and also pay for her phone repair.

Am i an asshole to myself? Yes.
Am i an asshole to others? Even more so.

Wow, appreciate the honesty. Eh, if it makes you feel better, I was seriously thinking about killing someone who was probably the closest thing I've had to a real friend who I could open up to. I thought he betrayed and lied to me, but I realized he was straight with me and really tried to help me and I'm just a crazy fucker. A main reason why I'd like to CTB. I'm too much of autistic social fucktard to have ever been in a relationship, but I probably would have been a mean, crazy asshole to them anyway.

Oh, and I got mad at my dog and hurt her and she's the sweetest dog imaginable. Such a fucker is I.

 

[Mr2005]

It's much better that way around than the other where people hold others to a higher standard. I'm my own worst critic. I think it can endear people to you if you're self deprecating. There's nothing left for them to do

 

[sleepy dog]

I feel like I am stuck in a world where most others hold everybody else to a higher standard. For example police murder, but imprison murderers, they hold others to a higher standard than they try to meet. Politicians and other elite wealthy hold poor people to a higher standard than they try to meet. There are many other examples.

 

[Partial-Elf]

Yeah. The same. Definitely don't belong here. Tired of pretending.


Interesting. I'm curious about the psychology behind that. Maybe it's just the fear of closeness that prompts you to find faults in others thus enabling the distance?

And I'd like to think there is some kind of "masterplan" or that things happen because they were supposed to happen. So no real reason to get hung up on stuff. Just let shit go. It's unfortunate when you realize you're a fucktard though, incapable of learning from the past though lol


Wow, appreciate the honesty. Eh, if it makes you feel better, I was seriously thinking about killing someone who was probably the closest thing I've had to a real friend who I could open up to. I thought he betrayed and lied to me, but I realized he was straight with me and really tried to help me and I'm just a crazy fucker. A main reason why I'd like to CTB. I'm too much of autistic social fucktard to have ever been in a relationship, but I probably would have been a mean, crazy asshole to them anyway.

Oh, and I got mad at my dog and hurt her and she's the sweetest dog imaginable. Such a fucker is I.

I feel like it has something to do with being trapped. I hate feeling like my options are limited or I can't leave and a certain level of investment makes leaving hard. That's a big reason for wanting to die... gotta ESCAPE

 

[woxihuanni]

I have held myself to high standards and met them, too. The only thing I am cruel to myself about is my opinion on my looks. I hold such opinions about others as well. Just wouldn't make them feel less for it, no fucking reason to do that.

 

[blanketyblk]

i grew up being called all kinds of names and being tormented my entire childhood, so i have gone out of my way to never say anything bad to another human being. simply because i know how hurtful words can be. have i wanted to. sure. but i really just don't do it. i call my self all kind of shit names but yeah would never do it to another human being. just not me

 

[StillWaiting]

Always felt that I am never good enough.
Nothing I am good at , nothing I can be proud of.
I become so jealous of others that I started hating myself and distancing from them

 

[Fallen_From_Grace]

I feel like despite everything I should be harder on myself. I have nothing good going for me and I'm an absolute failure. And yet I feel like I can't hate myself anymore than I already do.