N
noname223
Archangel
- Aug 18, 2020
- 6,170
There is the fundamental attribution bias. We tend to underestimate the situational factors that drive someone to do something. and we tend to blame mostly one's personality instead.
Hanna Arendt talked about Nazi bureaucrats of concentration camps as Hanswursts. Very hard to translate. Maybe something like a really pathetic average idiot. The banality of evil. We rather think of people like Mengele when we envision evil but there were so many bureaucrats in these camps who just "fulfiled their duties".
For being complicit in a genocide it does not need much seemingly. Even if one is only a small cog in a big, soulles machine.
Personally, I am a very law abiding citizen. I think I never did something like extremely evil. Some would claim being a longterm member on SaSu is really evil.
Would I be able to do something heinous? I think yes. I think if I lived in a fascist country I would not be brave enough to protest. I am such a risk averse person. I would shit my pants on a daily basis. However, I would probably protest in the form of not procreating. I live in Germany and the far right is on the rise. Russia could potentially invade the country in coming decades. We cannot rule that out. They would not want me to procreate anyway. I would be among the first to get killed for being a useless, unworthy of living being.
I think in a situation were I would get tortured or I have to betray someone I would most likely betray someone. I think I am a loyal person. But I don't have what it takes to resist torture. But now when I think about it I went to college 5 semesters, it was torture also the benzo withdrawal. And I endured it. And my whole life is torture. Maybe it would depend on the torture. With psychological torture I would become psychotic for sure. With physical torture cutting off boy parts and shit like that. I would want to avoid that. I think most people say under torture everything just to stop the torture.
Would I be capable to rape or murder someone? I mean under normal circumstances probably not. But in a dystopian future. Where the rule is kill or get killed? I think if there was the option to kill myself I would most likely do that. WIthout my antipsychotics I would be pretty paranoid. Lol. When I am psychotic I am extremely harmless. I am really scared to get touched in this state. But I never was dangerous not at all. During my first psychosis where my family did not know what a psychosis was my relatives were really confused. They noticed I became more and more insane. My fucking sister hit me in the face to get normal again. I never forgot that. This is the abusive behavior that brought me into my current misery. When someone is feeling bad, abuse them. Very smart move. I pray my sister never gets kids. My doctor prescribed me an antidepressant. I told him (I hid a lot) that I fear to lose my mind. He said that is normal for depressive episodes. The antidepressants made my psychosis way worse. But I was still very harmless. I got a little bit aggressive because my mom fed me with these pills. And I think later my mom lied I assaulted or threatened my grandma to get assaulted which is such a bogus lie. I never hurt anyone in this state. And never threatened anything. I am still very peaceful. I am mostly going through hell in this state. I tend to get flirty with women. Lol. (and getting ridiculed for it obviously) Very emotional. Very anxious. But harmless as fuck. I am pretty glad about that. There are people who are a danger for society when they are psychotic. And they get locked away. You don't choose your own delusions. But gladly I could avoid that fate. Most psychotic people are harmless. It is far more often the case they become victims of violence instead of being a perpetrator.
I had this talk with the woman I got intimate with. She was a fan of anarchy. She wa not very interested in politics. And anarchy must not mean total chaos. But she told me something like she can be pretty fucked up. She wished she lived in anarchic world. She would be capable of a lot. I told her I think she has a wrong notion of such a world. There are people out there, no matter how fucked up you think you were, they are way worse. If you grew up in a civilized, wealthy country, you are used to certain standards. If you grow up in a country led by cartells. You have to kill or torture other people to survive. That's a completely different story. I can remember talk in this forum that the Mexican cartell torture videos are the worst. Someone linked a video where the heart of son of a police man was removed while he was breathing. Someone commented he took it like a champ. Gladly, I never watched that. There are monsters in the US and Germany too. But violence is more stigmatized and more civic rules are followed by the majority of people. I think it is naive to think one was equipped enough for such a world.
One side note: I am scared of driving a car. I had some driving lessons but I was not good enough to pass the test. Over the years I became more and more anxious about driving a car. Now I completely fear it. I know my brain and its overthinking. I could imagine I make a major mistake and accidentally kill a couple of people by confusing the brakes with the gas. I know that sounds ridiculous. But my brain is very easily overstrained. I have so many thoughts in my head, I ruminate so much. I even worry about extremely absurd things like peeing myself. Lol. That's one example. But my brain is a labyrinth. I am not a functional person. Sometimes I was unable to speak in college courses without sounding extremely anxious. I ruminated so much how I was perceived that it became obvious I was a mental wreck. I could imagine there is this extremely toxic and paralyzing self-awareness inside my mind when I am driving really fast or if there is a somewhat dangerous situation that my brain simply melts and fries. Knowing if I do one mistake I will get killed or I kill other people and will stay for the rest of my life injured ot spent some time in prison. I am not sure how other mental wrecks do this. But it does not seem to be a good idea for me. Maybe I am overthinking it. My point is: I could do something really evil by accident. One thing to add. I take so much medication.And sometimes I took benzos or z-medication. Shit that sedates you. In case there is a fatal accident I had to prove that I was allowed to drive under these medication. I think they are influencing my mind quite a lot. And it is not like I can choose when I am in need of them. Rambling.
Hanna Arendt talked about Nazi bureaucrats of concentration camps as Hanswursts. Very hard to translate. Maybe something like a really pathetic average idiot. The banality of evil. We rather think of people like Mengele when we envision evil but there were so many bureaucrats in these camps who just "fulfiled their duties".
For being complicit in a genocide it does not need much seemingly. Even if one is only a small cog in a big, soulles machine.
Personally, I am a very law abiding citizen. I think I never did something like extremely evil. Some would claim being a longterm member on SaSu is really evil.
Would I be able to do something heinous? I think yes. I think if I lived in a fascist country I would not be brave enough to protest. I am such a risk averse person. I would shit my pants on a daily basis. However, I would probably protest in the form of not procreating. I live in Germany and the far right is on the rise. Russia could potentially invade the country in coming decades. We cannot rule that out. They would not want me to procreate anyway. I would be among the first to get killed for being a useless, unworthy of living being.
I think in a situation were I would get tortured or I have to betray someone I would most likely betray someone. I think I am a loyal person. But I don't have what it takes to resist torture. But now when I think about it I went to college 5 semesters, it was torture also the benzo withdrawal. And I endured it. And my whole life is torture. Maybe it would depend on the torture. With psychological torture I would become psychotic for sure. With physical torture cutting off boy parts and shit like that. I would want to avoid that. I think most people say under torture everything just to stop the torture.
Would I be capable to rape or murder someone? I mean under normal circumstances probably not. But in a dystopian future. Where the rule is kill or get killed? I think if there was the option to kill myself I would most likely do that. WIthout my antipsychotics I would be pretty paranoid. Lol. When I am psychotic I am extremely harmless. I am really scared to get touched in this state. But I never was dangerous not at all. During my first psychosis where my family did not know what a psychosis was my relatives were really confused. They noticed I became more and more insane. My fucking sister hit me in the face to get normal again. I never forgot that. This is the abusive behavior that brought me into my current misery. When someone is feeling bad, abuse them. Very smart move. I pray my sister never gets kids. My doctor prescribed me an antidepressant. I told him (I hid a lot) that I fear to lose my mind. He said that is normal for depressive episodes. The antidepressants made my psychosis way worse. But I was still very harmless. I got a little bit aggressive because my mom fed me with these pills. And I think later my mom lied I assaulted or threatened my grandma to get assaulted which is such a bogus lie. I never hurt anyone in this state. And never threatened anything. I am still very peaceful. I am mostly going through hell in this state. I tend to get flirty with women. Lol. (and getting ridiculed for it obviously) Very emotional. Very anxious. But harmless as fuck. I am pretty glad about that. There are people who are a danger for society when they are psychotic. And they get locked away. You don't choose your own delusions. But gladly I could avoid that fate. Most psychotic people are harmless. It is far more often the case they become victims of violence instead of being a perpetrator.
I had this talk with the woman I got intimate with. She was a fan of anarchy. She wa not very interested in politics. And anarchy must not mean total chaos. But she told me something like she can be pretty fucked up. She wished she lived in anarchic world. She would be capable of a lot. I told her I think she has a wrong notion of such a world. There are people out there, no matter how fucked up you think you were, they are way worse. If you grew up in a civilized, wealthy country, you are used to certain standards. If you grow up in a country led by cartells. You have to kill or torture other people to survive. That's a completely different story. I can remember talk in this forum that the Mexican cartell torture videos are the worst. Someone linked a video where the heart of son of a police man was removed while he was breathing. Someone commented he took it like a champ. Gladly, I never watched that. There are monsters in the US and Germany too. But violence is more stigmatized and more civic rules are followed by the majority of people. I think it is naive to think one was equipped enough for such a world.
One side note: I am scared of driving a car. I had some driving lessons but I was not good enough to pass the test. Over the years I became more and more anxious about driving a car. Now I completely fear it. I know my brain and its overthinking. I could imagine I make a major mistake and accidentally kill a couple of people by confusing the brakes with the gas. I know that sounds ridiculous. But my brain is very easily overstrained. I have so many thoughts in my head, I ruminate so much. I even worry about extremely absurd things like peeing myself. Lol. That's one example. But my brain is a labyrinth. I am not a functional person. Sometimes I was unable to speak in college courses without sounding extremely anxious. I ruminated so much how I was perceived that it became obvious I was a mental wreck. I could imagine there is this extremely toxic and paralyzing self-awareness inside my mind when I am driving really fast or if there is a somewhat dangerous situation that my brain simply melts and fries. Knowing if I do one mistake I will get killed or I kill other people and will stay for the rest of my life injured ot spent some time in prison. I am not sure how other mental wrecks do this. But it does not seem to be a good idea for me. Maybe I am overthinking it. My point is: I could do something really evil by accident. One thing to add. I take so much medication.And sometimes I took benzos or z-medication. Shit that sedates you. In case there is a fatal accident I had to prove that I was allowed to drive under these medication. I think they are influencing my mind quite a lot. And it is not like I can choose when I am in need of them. Rambling.