When I first met my bf two years ago I didn't have IBS yet and my other illnesses hadn't kicked into high gear. He was my reason for living. I put myself through painful tests and being a Guinea pig for many drug regimens to try and get better so that I could be a more desirable partner. I got sicker and sicker and then was horribly traumatized a year ago by a very abusive doctor.
Despite this, my boyfriend stuck with me, but his patience began to wane. I thought I was truly in love and he felt the same regarding me. I lost everything when my illnesses got worse, and so I put the plans in motion to move to his country, study, and have a life together.
As time has passed his disdain for me has accumulated. Ever since I came here the arguing is non-stop. No longer am I that person he was so enamoured with, now I'm just a burden.
My boyfriend lied to me and said he would take care of me. I would do anything within reason for him, I am going to force myself to work part time if I graduate so I will not be fully reliant on him. He thinks my views, beliefs, and suicidality are just nihilistic doomer shit and that I am unhinged for not thinking the world is a great place.
I did believe in love, but now I realize most "love" is simply a false promise between two people. As soon as someone stops getting use out of you, they kick you to the curb. Being reliant on someone who clearly pities you and feels disdain does not make you feel loved.
People do what is convenient for them.