N
noname223
Archangel
- Aug 18, 2020
- 6,208
We have some beef in out self-help group. One borderline woman is self-destructive and attacks her remaining social contacts. She blamed us for literally everything despite we tried the best to help her. At least I tried that. I think she is angry on us because we cannot solve her problems. She even admitted that. But we cannot be a replacement for her family. We sort of fear she is going to kill herself.
Then there is another borderline women who is especially angry on me. I sort of saw through her flirting with men behind the back of her boyfriend. She got the feeling I was judgemental about it. Which is sort of true. There is a super lonely guy in our group and she flirts with him with no serious intentions. But when she dated me (also super desperate) it slipped I am only adventure for her. I felt really bad and sort of apologized today because she was angry with me. But I think she will never forgive me. There is a person who wanted to help us with organizing the group and I was really pleased about that and wanted to invite her to the group. We had an agreement in the group to invite her and I think everything was fine we had a consensus. But now the woman who is angry at me wrote a passive-aggressive e-mail to the woman who wanted to help us. I am pretty angry at her. But I won't do shit. Seemingly, I have to accept it. I don't have the intention to retaliate in any way. Theoretically if I ever met her boyfriend....damn but I would not do that.
From me it is probably bad to share all of that in a suicide forum. And I don't think they are really bad people. There are way worse individuals. I think for some being a bad person is a punishment. But there are some who benefit from being a bad person.
Bad people might end up in legal troubles, in prisons, or have to deal with the consequences of their actions and commit suicide. There are also many innocent people who end up killing themselves though. I am not sure what the ratio is. Sociopaths tend to end up in prisons. Psychopaths can better adapt to the society and might end up becoming CEOs of a big company. But aren't these people lonely? Can they really trust other people if all they do is manipulating others? Can they be honest to any other human being or do they have to hide what defines their personality so that their inner circle is not disgusted by them? Do they feel like shallow human beings disgusted by themselves? Or do they enjoy manipulating others for the sake of their own amusements?
I don't trust many people fully. People can turn at you very easily. I have a few people who I can trust with anything. But especially if something can be used as a weapon against me I don't give too many people access to my weaknesses or secrets.
Some might believe in karma. I dont believe in that. I also don't believe in reincarnation. But I still fear it. Maybe some bad people fear bad karma. But are bad people usually aware they are bad?
I think evil people might never be at peace with themselves. But am I really be at peace with myself? I think I have some bad traits and I self-loath myself for them. But would an actual evil person self-loath themselves for these traits? Maybe good and bad is too much of a black-white scheme.
To sum up it up. I think determinism is in large extents true. Our environment, upbringing and genes make us what we are. Being a bad person does not decrease your life quality per se. But in many cases it backfires. Not all bad people get punished though. Some even benefit from these traits.
What do you think?
Can you even decide yourself whether you want to be good or bad? Many behaviors seem to be pathological and we cannot get rid of them. What to do if you don't like your pathologies? Self-loath yourself until the very end? Accept yourself? Embrace them? But wouldn't this make you a really bad person? And if you already self-loathed yourself, wouldn't that just make your self-loathing way worse? Actually, I struggle with this issue a lot.
Then there is another borderline women who is especially angry on me. I sort of saw through her flirting with men behind the back of her boyfriend. She got the feeling I was judgemental about it. Which is sort of true. There is a super lonely guy in our group and she flirts with him with no serious intentions. But when she dated me (also super desperate) it slipped I am only adventure for her. I felt really bad and sort of apologized today because she was angry with me. But I think she will never forgive me. There is a person who wanted to help us with organizing the group and I was really pleased about that and wanted to invite her to the group. We had an agreement in the group to invite her and I think everything was fine we had a consensus. But now the woman who is angry at me wrote a passive-aggressive e-mail to the woman who wanted to help us. I am pretty angry at her. But I won't do shit. Seemingly, I have to accept it. I don't have the intention to retaliate in any way. Theoretically if I ever met her boyfriend....damn but I would not do that.
From me it is probably bad to share all of that in a suicide forum. And I don't think they are really bad people. There are way worse individuals. I think for some being a bad person is a punishment. But there are some who benefit from being a bad person.
Bad people might end up in legal troubles, in prisons, or have to deal with the consequences of their actions and commit suicide. There are also many innocent people who end up killing themselves though. I am not sure what the ratio is. Sociopaths tend to end up in prisons. Psychopaths can better adapt to the society and might end up becoming CEOs of a big company. But aren't these people lonely? Can they really trust other people if all they do is manipulating others? Can they be honest to any other human being or do they have to hide what defines their personality so that their inner circle is not disgusted by them? Do they feel like shallow human beings disgusted by themselves? Or do they enjoy manipulating others for the sake of their own amusements?
I don't trust many people fully. People can turn at you very easily. I have a few people who I can trust with anything. But especially if something can be used as a weapon against me I don't give too many people access to my weaknesses or secrets.
Some might believe in karma. I dont believe in that. I also don't believe in reincarnation. But I still fear it. Maybe some bad people fear bad karma. But are bad people usually aware they are bad?
I think evil people might never be at peace with themselves. But am I really be at peace with myself? I think I have some bad traits and I self-loath myself for them. But would an actual evil person self-loath themselves for these traits? Maybe good and bad is too much of a black-white scheme.
To sum up it up. I think determinism is in large extents true. Our environment, upbringing and genes make us what we are. Being a bad person does not decrease your life quality per se. But in many cases it backfires. Not all bad people get punished though. Some even benefit from these traits.
What do you think?
Can you even decide yourself whether you want to be good or bad? Many behaviors seem to be pathological and we cannot get rid of them. What to do if you don't like your pathologies? Self-loath yourself until the very end? Accept yourself? Embrace them? But wouldn't this make you a really bad person? And if you already self-loathed yourself, wouldn't that just make your self-loathing way worse? Actually, I struggle with this issue a lot.
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