Venting Do you see existing itself as being completely undesirable?

[FuneralCry]

I certainly do and it's why I've always wished to ctb, I just think that existence itself is something so dreadful, futile and unappealing, I could never understand why anyone would desire existing, to me it's the true problem that only death can bring relief from.

I see existence itself as being such a horrific, tragic mistake, I would always prefer the permanent peace of not existing to having the ability to suffer in a world filled with endless harm. It's tiring being trapped in a decaying flesh prison destined for nothing but to be tortured by old age, the thought of very old age disturbs me.

I just see existing as being unnecessary suffering, we are all just slowly dying and waiting around to die until death erases everything, I just think it's a burden having the ability to exist, only nothingness is ideal to me and I despise how suffering is inevitable yet there is no straightforward way to free ourselves.

This reality undeniably is so hellish and I think it's such a terrible thing being conscious and aware, to me it's horrible how there isn't just nothingness instead, it's so tragic how existence has caused so much endless suffering to be experienced all throughout history yet humans are expected to be prisoners to this existence in a world that is so absurdly anti-suicide. To me it's certainly always preferable to not exist, existence is just an unnecessary harm.

 

[Elle]

I don't know what to say, but I hope you find peace

 

[AnxietyHangover]

I would've liked to live, but there are some problems in my life that seem to be unresolvable... So that's why existence seems unappealing...

 

[Sweet Tart]

It's a hard question to answer, because even things that are undesirable can have moments of beauty and meaning. Knowing that and being aware of how far I am from having the quality of life to appreciate it are two different things. I want to have a future but I'm not seeing a path to one that is worth living.

 

[funeralcat]

Well, I believe in the afterlife being like a paradise in which you are pure energy and perfection. So, I don't like this material existence where you have negative emotions, a physical body to take care of, and being confused by this chaotic reality.
Spiritual gurus have said we all have a mission here, but idk.

 

[sanction]

I certainly do and it's why I've always wished to ctb, I just think that existence itself is something so dreadful, futile and unappealing, I could never understand why anyone would desire existing, to me it's the true problem that only death can bring relief from.

I see existence itself as being such a horrific, tragic mistake, I would always prefer the permanent peace of not existing to having the ability to suffer in a world filled with endless harm. It's tiring being trapped in a decaying flesh prison destined for nothing but to be tortured by old age, the thought of very old age disturbs me.

I just see existing as being unnecessary suffering, we are all just slowly dying and waiting around to die until death erases everything, I just think it's a burden having the ability to exist, only nothingness is ideal to me and I despise how suffering is inevitable yet there is no straightforward way to free ourselves.

This reality undeniably is so hellish and I think it's such a terrible thing being conscious and aware, to me it's horrible how there isn't just nothingness instead, it's so tragic how existence has caused so much endless suffering to be experienced all throughout history yet humans are expected to be prisoners to this existence in a world that is so absurdly anti-suicide. To me it's certainly always preferable to not exist, existence is just an unnecessary harm.

Of course I agree. We come to this shitty world just to endure endless suffering, in which NONE of this we had signed up for. Just 2 selfish motherfuckers (our parents) decided to fuck and want to play with babies, and now we're stuck here to do over 20 years of school, then another 40-50 years of work (like a slave) just to make basic money to survive. Most of us are also not properly taught much about life by our parents at all, since usually they aren't even that smart or mature themselves. So we are also stuck to have to figure out how this whole game of life works through many mistakes and headaches of our own.

Aside from money survival, we also need to deal with relationship stress, health stress, and the list goes on......... then eventually we need to experience our parents getting old and dying.... then eventually our own body also starts to breaks down, and then we also die. And whats worst is... before dying, we have to witness decades of it slowly declining, lots of bullshit maintenance, endless amount of medications, doctor visits, surgery at the hospitals, and etc.

Then after ALL this crazy effort (the TO-DO LIST simply NEVER ends), everything just goes back to COMPLETELY NOTHING in the end. As if nothing ever even took place or happened at all in the first place. How fucking pointless is this???? It is simply a torture, that was completely avoidable in the first place

 

[nood11]

There's no doubt that it would have been better not to have been born. But since we are born what do we do?

 

[Forever Sleep]

Personally- yes- I would prefer not to have been born to begin with. I'm not even sure which is worse- to always have hated life- or- to have loved life and then lost everything. They're both pretty awful states to be in I reckon.

 

[todiefor]

Do I wish I was never born? It's hard to answer this given how I feel now, but even 6 months ago i would have said no. I don't think existence itself is by definition undesirable, because I've had some great moments/memories, i have great friends, Ive had great loves, life could be beautiful I think I've seen it and felt it. But at the same time I have really struggled and fought my way through life, and the last year has just tipped me over the edge and existence has just become too unbearable and I don't think it will change in the future. I don't think I was made right for this world, I cannot endure the emotional pain and suffering that comes with it but I guess I was lucky to not have always experienced it so acutely in the past. I think for me at the very least, it was worth it to have met my grandmother and to have experienced her love for me, and it was worth it to have met some good people I can call friends.