WitheringAway
Ima shake the champagne bottle...
- Jun 23, 2020
- 404
I hate being suicidal. While I respect everyone's right to end their lives, I don't glorify suicide. Hate battling the suicidal thoughts, wish I had a better job but then Again, I feel like no matter where I am in life, it's always gonna be there. I wish I knew happiness.. I wish I knew what it's like to enjoy life. I don't know and I don't think I will ever know. A huge part of what messed me up was the feeling of neglect. Wish I had the awareness to build my future while I was in school, wish I had the guidance, the inspiration, the encouragement.. I envy kids who have parents who take good care of their future. I had no one. Nobody cared about me. I was the youngest child in a family of 15. I have a good job by most people's standards but it's not my ambition. My dream was broken long time ago. I'm dead inside. I go to work like a robot. I'm detached from my social surrounding. I do my job and go home and repeat the next day. Nothing of significance in my life. The suicidal thoughts are taking over. I lost my appetite long time ago. I look pale and skeletal. Hate it. Hate life. Hate myself. Wish I could get better. I don't wanna die. But it's all I think about.