N
noname223
Angelic
- Aug 18, 2020
- 4,993
I know many people here have social anxiety. I have also problems. I feel like a sheep in crowds. Or like a drop in the ocean. I am not that important everybody lives in their own world and in the end we are all prisoners of our minds. I think about existential loneliness. That we cannot really connect fully to another person. That we can never know how exactly the other person feels. Due to the fact our imagination has limits and because finding the right language is very complicated. Moreover many people don't even want to spend time on wanting to know how it feels to struggle with life. They prefer to concenetrate on the positive in life.
Paradoxically I often feel more lonely when I am in a crowd. It reminds me how many people live on this planet. And I don't care about most of them. In general I want that humankind improves. But I think noone is utterly shocked when one reads a stranger died young or stuff like that. We are used to become numb about that. Sometimes I even become paranoid in crowds. It can stress me a lot.
I avoid them. I am also reminded that many people have better life qualtiy than me. I know some only show a facade. But when I see how wholeheartedly people can laugh and enjoy life I can get quite envious.
Furthermore I would love to a deep relationship with a women. And when I see how many people have strong partnerships I can become jealous. I compare myself too much with other people. When I isolate myself which sometimes have good or bad effects I feel less compulsion to compare myself. So sometimes I feel less loneyl when I am alone. A positive effect is for example I can relax better when I am alone. Or surrounded only by people who I trust. Being around many strangers can be too exciting and make me manic.
A negative impact. When I was islolated for too long time it damaged my sanity and my social skills got very bad. I was kind of weird. But I have made some good progess in the right direction with my therapist.
Paradoxically I often feel more lonely when I am in a crowd. It reminds me how many people live on this planet. And I don't care about most of them. In general I want that humankind improves. But I think noone is utterly shocked when one reads a stranger died young or stuff like that. We are used to become numb about that. Sometimes I even become paranoid in crowds. It can stress me a lot.
I avoid them. I am also reminded that many people have better life qualtiy than me. I know some only show a facade. But when I see how wholeheartedly people can laugh and enjoy life I can get quite envious.
Furthermore I would love to a deep relationship with a women. And when I see how many people have strong partnerships I can become jealous. I compare myself too much with other people. When I isolate myself which sometimes have good or bad effects I feel less compulsion to compare myself. So sometimes I feel less loneyl when I am alone. A positive effect is for example I can relax better when I am alone. Or surrounded only by people who I trust. Being around many strangers can be too exciting and make me manic.
A negative impact. When I was islolated for too long time it damaged my sanity and my social skills got very bad. I was kind of weird. But I have made some good progess in the right direction with my therapist.