Discussion Do you forgive yourself your faults or do you berate yourself?

[Forever Sleep]

Are there elements of yourself that you don't like? Would you consider these to be faults?

If so- how responsible do you feel for them? Do you think they came about as a reaction to the environment you were/are in? Maybe they came about as a defence mechanism? Or- maybe you feel solely responsible for them?

I don't think I'm all bad but I'm not all good either. I have acted very selfishly in the past. I haven't made the effort to stay in touch with people who were very kind to me because I was so utterly engrossed in my job. I feel guilty about that now and I can't make amends because they have died.

Partly, I feel my obsessive character came about as a defence mechanism early on in life. I think I also learnt the lesson that people let you down in life- so it may be better not to be close to them. So- I don't feel entirely responsible for how I've turned out. Partly it seems inevitable in a way. Still- I knew at the time I should have made more effort- so I can't forgive myself entirely either.

How about you? Any regrets? How much can you forgive yourself for the things you regret?

 

[GasMonkey]

I have freed myself from any regret/remorse/guilt.
I have understood that is all about genetics+environment (mostly genetics).
Everything that has happened had to happen, it couldn't be any other way.

 

[theboy]

option 2!

 

[FrozenMango]

I voted for option 2 as well. I'm not an angel by any means. There are somethings I don't like about myself and consider my fault. I'm sad about my severe lack of motivation to do anything. I'm sad about my living dead status: I don't want to live but I don't want to die. I'm sad about feeling hopeless and tired of everything.

There are many things that are outside my control like my family, my health, my status, and my looks.

 

[vultureilse]

honestly its hard to tell. for me it feels like stuff like this changes constantly but that might be just because i heavily struggle with understanding myself. i despise myself and tend to blame myself for everything including things that i dont even have control over. i get so angry at myself for every mistake i make and i could never forgive myself. at the same time im really selfish and immature. i want everything to be easy and try to escape responsibility for the things i do. i tend to blame all of my flaws on people who hurt me though trauma is really not an excuse for shitty behavior

 

[WorthlessTrash]

My faults are the byproduct of being born the wrong sex, but i still hate myself for it.

 

[nonutscera]

I'm leaning more towards option 3. Some faults are things I can't change, but for the most part I feel like I'm in a unique situation where a lot of opportunity has been afforded to me. There's a lot of open doors and open-minded people surrounding me. And yet I still find every way to not do the right thing. I still find a way to idealize CTB even when I logically understand that other people in my position would never dream of CTB. So I mostly blame myself for a lot, which I guess feeds back into the CTB feels.

 

[Rainy_days]

Mostly berate. I was lucky in many ways regarding the circumstances I was born in. So I can only blame myself for ending up where I am.

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't really have any self hatred or anything like that, I just hate existing instead and the fact that I was brought into this world in the first place. I just know that I was never meant for something as awful as existing and it's simply just the way that things are.

 

[lionetta12]

Are there elements of yourself that you don't like? Would you consider these to be faults?

If so- how responsible do you feel for them? Do you think they came about as a reaction to the environment you were/are in? Maybe they came about as a defence mechanism? Or- maybe you feel solely responsible for them?

I don't think I'm all bad but I'm not all good either. I have acted very selfishly in the past. I haven't made the effort to stay in touch with people who were very kind to me because I was so utterly engrossed in my job. I feel guilty about that now and I can't make amends because they have died.

Partly, I feel my obsessive character came about as a defence mechanism early on in life. I think I also learnt the lesson that people let you down in life- so it may be better not to be close to them. So- I don't feel entirely responsible for how I've turned out. Partly it seems inevitable in a way. Still- I knew at the time I should have made more effort- so I can't forgive myself entirely either.

How about you? Any regrets? How much can you forgive yourself for the things you regret?

Nobody forgive me for anything I do so I don't forgive myself either anymore. I forgive others though.

 

[gar3z]

I can't forgive myself nor anyone else. I only have this filthy grudge I hold, figured that's the only thing I have. I can't forgive myself for not trying and being a better version of myself, even if it would take literal years.
however I don't want to hate myself for the things that are outside of my control, but can't really help myself, can I?

 

[Source Energy]

Nobody forgive me for anything I do so I don't forgive myself either anymore. I forgive others though.

Give kindness to yourself. F others. You matter!

 

[Kurushii]

If I make any faults then depending on the severity I will either berate myself or forgive myself. If enough time passes I'll forgive even the big mistakes I made. I just.. don't want to give myself an even harder time than I'm already having. So I'll opt for being kind to myself when I feel I can.

 

[Depresso]

I chose option 3. I constantly berate and belittle myself for the biggest to the smallest things imaginable. I really don't know how to be kind to myself since it was never really taught to me growing up.

 

[Csmith8827]

I forgive myself. But I do my best to learn from my mistakes... it's OK to make mistakes...we all do. Just learn from the mistakes you make.

 

[Grav]

I constantly berate myself for fuck ups and part of the whole cornucopia of why I'm on here. It drives my wife nuts.

 

[The Eihwaz Tree]

I hold myself accountable, but I learned to forgive myself over the years. So long as I learn from my mistakes, that's all that matters.