Discussion Do you feel worse when waking up or before going to sleep?

[StreamingMySuicide]

As simple as the title. Do you feel worse when you wake up or when you go to sleep?

Why do you feel that way? It's okay if you don't know.

 

[StreamingMySuicide]

I personally feel worse when going to sleep. It's because I have to look forward to waking up and I worry about the next day and the future. But when the morning comes, I'm not wanting to get out of my bed, but I'm not as horrible as I was the night before.

 

[RyanSuicide]

Waking up. As soon as morning hits I wake from my slumber and think '' I have to face another day of this. I can't do this anymore"

 

[Hopeless_soul]

I feel pretty much the same the whole day. Hard to get up and hard to go to bed. I still have good ephemeral moments during the day though.

 

[Redt2go]

I guess part of me hopes to not wake up. Also for like 3 seconds I forget about my reality. Once it hits it fucks me up

 

[ForestLove]

For years before sleep, I would always pray that i would never wake up again. Sadly, I am still waking up everyday. If only we know when we are dying and it might change the way we think and do.

 

[Redt2go]

A

For years before sleep, I would always pray that i would never wake up again. Sadly, I am still waking up everyday. If only we know when we are dying and it might change the way we think and do.

Agreed. Sometimes I'm like fuck what if I have to live to be 90 years old. If I knew I had an out in the next 10 years I'd be so happy

 

[Titania]

It's usually when I'm going to sleep. I suffer from Insomnia so my mind tends to wander off and get anxious/ depressed during time of silence. Panic attacks and feelings of dissociation tend to also cloud my mind too so I feel like self-harm and suicidal thoughts every night. I've tried to CTB many times before that at night but they've failed obviously.

 

[StreamingMySuicide]

It's usually when I'm going to sleep. I suffer from Insomnia so my mind tends to wander off and get anxious/ depressed during time of silence. Panic attacks and feelings of dissociation tend to also cloud my mind too so I feel like self-harm and suicidal thoughts every night. I've tried to CTB many times before that at night but they've failed obviously.

It's nice to know that I'm not alone.

 

[lost_soul83]

I definitely feel the worst when I wake up in the morning. Everything hurts so bad, but I've gotta force myself outta bed to take the dog out, which is hard because I'm in so much pain and he just wants to pull me around the yard by his leash. And, as said in previous posts here, I pray not to wake up, so every morning I do, I'm pissed and depressed.

 

[ParamitePie]

I definitely feel worse when I'm waking up. I just feel like I want to curl up in bed and go back to sleep. Even when I've just had a nightmare, which regularly happens, I just can't see the sense of getting up and it takes a surprising amount of energy to do so. There's just this overwhelming sense of malaise, until several hours after I've woken up and forced myself through the morning routine. I have a hard time going to sleep, so my sleep schedule is awful, but by that time I'm able to distract myself with things which can numb my emotions.

 

[deathbycakes]

waking up : mainly cause of dissapointment that i didn't die in my sleep last night ): maybe someday i will, but who knows. sigh

 

[goesforemast]

Going to sleep. the first ten years of my depression it was the best time of my day. the time you closed your eyes and waiting to fall asleep i imagined my life how it could be, with a nice gf and good friends, having fun and enjoying my life. since the last few months its as bad as my day. the only thing i imagine now is how i die. sometimes i imagine the reactions of the people i know when they hear i ctb. as if somebody would actually care when i am gone :D

 

[Eren]

when I go to sleep, because I have insomnia and many times I can not sleep, I can be even 3/4 days in a row without sleep, it is horrible

 

[pleasethistime]

waking up is 10x worse. i am forcing myself to sleep again every fucking day.

 

[SirChuxAlot]

I have to say I feel worse when waking up. I have a bad habbit of just going back to sleep as I have no desire to the face the world. Even if I have just awoken from a bad dream.

 

[Jai]

As simple as the title. Do you feel worse when you wake up or when you go to sleep?

Why do you feel that way? It's okay if you don't know.

Awful cycle struggle to sleep with the carnival in my head stress worry regret fear pain then wake up at some point with all the same feelings just wanting it to end with a myriad of problems usually caused by other people I can't stand it anymore even with good intentions and doing the right things you still get fucked I feel I wasted my entire life been through enough

 

[Surferonce]

waking up is 10x worse. i am forcing myself to sleep again every fucking day.

Same. When I wake up, I feel awful especially if it's a work day. I tend to sleep again and end up being late or worse absent. I have a lot of absences and I'm late everyday. I wonder why they don't fire me. I can't resign because my parents will force me to apply for another job. And I'm scared of people. My anxiety is real bad.

 

[dysfunctional]

I guess part of me hopes to not wake up. Also for like 3 seconds I forget about my reality. Once it hits it fucks me up

That's the absolute worst

 

[Ldog9]

Kinda surprised so many people picked waking up. For the longest time for me, trying to fall asleep, being alone with my own thoughts is nightmarish. My mind is to restless and can never fall asleep, I just end up tossing and turning. But when I did finally fall asleep, I would wake up somewhat refreshed and reinvigorated, but it would get worse as the day went on though. I used to just stay up 24-36 hours straight and just crash.

Wake up thinking I can accomplish something and sorta excited, but went to bed defeated and crushed.

However recently both things have become unbearable. Still can't fall asleep, but now when I finally do, it's only for a 2-4 hours before I wake up feeling worse and can't get back to sleep. My mind is completely foggy and I can't focus on anything. I know I'm at my last wits here, I need to finish the job or something, bc I can't go on like this much longer.

 

[M A X]

Personally I feel worse going to bed because for me I end up getting time to myself and end up breaking down

 

[ThisIsTheEnd]

For me, it's when I'm going to sleep, as I know that I have to keep going, day after day, in a continuous, monotonous cycle.

 

[Ldog9]

Personally I feel worse going to bed because for me I end up getting time to myself and end up breaking down

Yea this has been happening to me. I probably could count on one hand how many times I cried/got emotional in the past decade. But in the past week it's been throughout the night every night.

 

[Redt2go]

Kinda surprised so many people picked waking up. For the longest time for me, trying to fall asleep, being alone with my own thoughts is nightmarish. My mind is to restless and can never fall asleep, I just end up tossing and turning. But when I did finally fall asleep, I would wake up somewhat refreshed and reinvigorated, but it would get worse as the day went on though. I used to just stay up 24-36 hours straight and just crash.

Wake up thinking I can accomplish something and sorta excited, but went to bed defeated and crushed.

However recently both things have become unbearable. Still can't fall asleep, but now when I finally do, it's only for a 2-4 hours before I wake up feeling worse and can't get back to sleep. My mind is completely foggy and I can't focus on anything. I know I'm at my last wits here, I need to finish the job or something, bc I can't go on like this much longer.

I was like this for a while. Started taking medicine to sleep. Insomnitabs anything with diphenhydramine helped me