Discussion Do you feel too stubborn for therapy?

[Forever Sleep]

In the past, I did consider therapy. I even went to a couple of sessions with a college therapist.

I've always been stubborn and pretty resistant towards trying things I found incredibly challenging. I think at the time though, I just felt so desperate that I thought anything was worth a shot.

I suppose that's my reasoning for not wanting to give it another try though. Not that I ought to outguess them but I feel like I already know what they would suggest.

Seeing as social anxiety and a crippling lack of confidence working around others is so debilitating for me, it seems logical they would ask me to work on that. But, that means facing what I fear the most. So, basically, at least initially making my life feel a whole lot worse with the flimsy hope it will one day start to feel less awful. Which is also a big 'if'. It's very possible things will never feel all that comfortable socially so it's like- is the 'prize' even worth it?

I think the same goes for other unhelpful thought patterns. Limerence, (which I also believe I tend to suffer from) I managed to recognise as a destructive force on my own and put my mind to putting a stop to it.

That's the thing though- I think you really need to want to change destructive behaviours and thought patterns. Seeing as many of these are also bound up in the way we cope or eacape from life itself, I wonder how many of us truly want to let go of them.

In which case- how effective can therapy be when we don't actually truly want to shed the things that are (probably) bad for us? So basically, I'm asking- do you suppose therapy is all that effective on terribly stubborn people? People very resistant to change or, people who feel like their way of thinking/ behaving is intrinsic to their personality, that removing that would seem very stange?

 

[billie]

i've been doing therapy for years and it doesn't help

 

[Loaf of bread]

I don't feel like stubborness is generally a problem, the main problem with therapy is that its promoted as a miracle cure to every conceivable mental health problem.

Have any mental problem whatsoever? Book therapy and your problem will magically disaapear!

For example: Poor mental health from bad circumstances? Instead of fixing the circumstances, get therapy which is just conversing and doesnt fix the circumstances.

This type of stuff leads to therapy being ineffective as it is an inappropriate treatment for many cases. Yet it is hailed as a miracle cure.

Therapy can be helpful and has genuine uses, but its presented as being way more applicable than in reality, which is really harmful to patients coerced into it incorrectly.

I don't see any issues with "stubbornness", at least in those cases.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

"Therapy" can't solve issues we have. It can provide coping mechanisms, it can solve issues in some case but imo in most cases therapy isn't a solution to the problems we have.

In my case, therapy can't solve my issue that makes me suicidal.

Maybe I'm stubborn, maybe I don't want to cope with the facts - ultimately it's not a solution to "heal" the problem.

 

[blackpillhopeless]

"Therapy" can't solve issues we have. It can provide coping mechanisms, it can solve issues in some case but imo in most cases therapy isn't a solution to the problems we have.

In my case, therapy can't solve my issue that makes me suicidal.

Maybe I'm stubborn, maybe I don't want to cope with the facts - ultimately it's not a solution to "heal" the problem.

I agree with this. Therapy is probably going to be helpful for some people, for some other people it is not going to solve the underlying issue that causes one to not want to live (eg for me it is my unattractive face and autism leading to universal rejection from the women i an attracted to), but instead can cause you to cope with lots of mental gymnastics.

 

[disjuj]

I'm extremely stubborn to try therapy, I used to be in it. My current mental decline is due to a physical problem that has also had an extreme effect on my mental state so I believe therapy cannot really help with that.

 

[Kibby]

I dont want to suggest anything that may be harmful but tbh its better therapy to talk with a friend at least tome

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I guess that I am intellectually stubborn for therapy as I acknowledge that what they are saying about existence is just a bunch of pro life delusion and I will not be easily gaslighted into believing that the stories and fables which they have made up about existence is the ultimate truth. However, if I were to actually take therapy, I'd just pretend to comply with what they are saying as I know that it's a losing battle to try and display my ideas to them due to the various amounts of indoctrination that they still believe in to this day

 

[Promised Heaven]

Ever since I was told I "Don't have a choice" in treatment by my own therapist or the ability to even change one (as a minor), "stubbornness" has always been defined as why I'm a difficult client.

In the rare chance a therapist or mental health professional is reading this: Be kind, empathetic, and let your patients slowly trust you. Don't be the reason someone hates therapy.

Also, don't start off a session with "Well well well, anything you want to talk about?" in a mocking tone when someone comes back from the ER (and fully aware of this).

Otherwise I wouldn't be so stubborn. A good therapist can probably help me and make me heal in ways I wouldn't imagine before, but the amount of bad, even abusive therapists and treatments I've gotten makes me rationally stubborn more than anything. If therapy did exactly what people claimed it did, I would actually be pro-therapy.

 

[Tortured_empath]

Yes definitely. Funny you say it.

 

[NonEssential]

I'm too poor to afford therapy lol

 

[Pluto]

 

[Forever Sleep]

Haha. Reminds me of another phrase: 'I could agree with you but then, we'd both be wrong.'

 

[vagabond_concerto]

Not necessarily stubborn but too self aware and too able to deconstruct meanings of meanings behind what people do. So you arent the person who gets easily impressed by fake deep quotes or bland textbook words

 

[LostLily]

I think that is why I haven't been successful i therapy. Because im too stubborn to change and when they challenge me on my perception of myself I instinctively double down because i feel talked down too.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

I think about it this way...Most legitimate medical treatments will work regardless of someone's disposition/personality. Stubbornness, or lack thereof, won't make dialysis, or insulin, or surgical procedures more or less effective. They either work when treating a condition for a particular patient, or they don't, it's a binary outcome rather than having a wishy washy third state of, "well it would work if the patient tried harder."

So when therapy doesn't work for a great number of people, and is chalked up to stubborness, does that speak more about the individual's demeanour or the techniques themselves not being applicable nor appropriate in certain situations? The whole psychotherapy industry frequently advertises itself as more of an art than a science, after all.

And you know, even if personality traits like stubbornness were a barrier to therapy being effective, the powers that be in almost every country block research on psychedelic substances and how to refine them, which are one of the few ways to induce significant neuroplasticity in adults and remodel certain patterns of connectivity, which could then have the potential to increase the efficacy of therapy techniques. Yet, instead, we have 3828282 studies about vanilla default CBT and pretend as if it is 99% effective for everyone, because it's cheap.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

There are lots of adjectives I am too much of for therapy

 

[endofeverything]

In which case- how effective can therapy be when we don't actually truly want to shed the things that are (probably) bad for us? So basically, I'm asking- do you suppose therapy is all that effective on terribly stubborn people? People very resistant to change or, people who feel like their way of thinking/ behaving is intrinsic to their personality, that removing that would seem very stange?

maybe situational, but i think it can be.
in my case, i never told my therapist the full truth about myself, due to shame and pride holding me back from admitting some things. ultimately, therapy still helped me realize a few things about myself, just from the therapist letting myself talk uninterrupted and subconsciously puzzle things together that didn't make sense before. even though i'm definitely resistant to change as a person when someone simply asks me to change, the change during therapy came from within and happened in a natural way without having to overcome my internal resistance. perhaps i was also just lucky to have this kind of therapist, as she never told me "do this! think like this!", she mostly just listened and asked me things.

i'm considering going again soon, as i haven't been in a long time now. this time, i'll try my hardest to be honest, too.

 

[ineed2die]

for depresion related therapy yes,,.

just fyi i fuckinng hate myslef so much i literally despitese myself i wnt to kill myself my fcking i hate myself omg fukingugly wprthless dumb stupid i Fuucking hate myslef

 

[areyousafe??]

I've only recently started therapy.

I never knew how to respond when they ask me "what do you want to work on?". How do you respond when you don't know what answers are available?

What are the benefits of trying to change when you don't know what it is like on the other side, what it's like to be "normal" and not depressed?

I find it hard to open up to someone when things like their facial expression, tone of voice, body language etc. makes me hold back on what is on my mind because I'm afraid that they are frustrated with me.