N
noname223
Angelic
- Aug 18, 2020
- 4,996
Maybe for some people this forum is like a daily soap. Though I don't think the number is that high. But the internet is fully of maniacs. Some people have contacted me and wrote me that they like to read my threads. I received a lot of support. Things like they are rooting for me so that I can avoid having to kill myself.
I ask myself if people are watching or spying on me. Though there are so many members why should they choose me? I am very fragile if someone wants to dox me the person might kill me. It could trigger a psychosis and I am kind of scared about that.
There are probably some people who follow my activity. What do they see? An unstable and desperate survivor of child abuse. Though maybe the term "survivor" won't be that fitting in some months or years.
I also ask myself what the people are thinking about me. Do they consider me as smart, not fully sane or a loser? Yeah the term loser is probably not helpful in a forum full of people with nightmarish lives. We should not treat us in this hurtful way. It is hard for me because my expectations of me are so high.
I ask myself if people are watching or spying on me. Though there are so many members why should they choose me? I am very fragile if someone wants to dox me the person might kill me. It could trigger a psychosis and I am kind of scared about that.
There are probably some people who follow my activity. What do they see? An unstable and desperate survivor of child abuse. Though maybe the term "survivor" won't be that fitting in some months or years.
I also ask myself what the people are thinking about me. Do they consider me as smart, not fully sane or a loser? Yeah the term loser is probably not helpful in a forum full of people with nightmarish lives. We should not treat us in this hurtful way. It is hard for me because my expectations of me are so high.