Venting Do you feel like people keep underestimating how miserable you actually are?

[pumpkinpie]

Like you will tell them over and over again that you want to die, how you can't keep going, how horrible life is.. and they just don't take you serious at all. Sometimes they even laugh at you as if you just made a joke.

Tbh this makes me want to blow my brain right into their face and onto their shirt. Like you can't make this shit up. How loud do I have to scream for them to actually hear me? How clearly do I have to speak for them to finally listen to my words? It's so infuriating.

I'm also sick and tired of people congratulating me on my suffering. "Aw you're so strong, you worked through so much shit and you survived". What am I supposed to do?? Stop time so the shit that life is throwing at me is stuck mid air?? I don't have any say in what bs I have to live through. I can't escape, I can't stop time and I can't find a suicide method that won't make my last moments agonizing. That's the only fucking reason I'm still here.

Like how can you look at someone cowering on the ground who has been beaten to a pulp and be like "you're so strong" and laugh at them for saying they want to die? It sickens me to the core.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I don't actually let it slip too much with family- the reality if it all. The times I have, I've regretted because it's mostly come out in an argument and, they've become really upset. For me, it's more the reverse now. If they truly realised or acknowledged where I am, I think it would impact them greatly. And ultimately- there's nothing they can do to help me so- it's better for the most part that they don't realise. That they think the everyday truths that came out in arguments were just one offs.

When I was younger though yes- I've been teased on occassion for my cynicism/ sadness. They used to call me 'eeyore' from 'Winnie the Pooh' when I was young. Also, pretty callous remarks were made around borderline eating disorders.

People are weird generally though. I remember I think it was the report after Gene Sprague jumped off The Golden Gate Bridge that people were amazed- that he'd just applied to a job. That somehow, they think life stands still for all those who have ideation. Maybe because you are functioning (just about) that you are ok. When I had my welfare check for buying SN, the police officers felt relieved to find me working. I think they have this notion that if you give the impression you are ok- then, you are.

But then, there's the benefit perhaps that those who can maintain an act are less under scrutiny. So, the actual act might be easier to do without anyone suspecting.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

They don't understand because they don't want to die. I've been someone who didn't want to die, and looking back I couldn't really empathise before becoming suicidal. Now, I find myself underestimating how miserable I am at times, and I don't share it except for here.

 

[mimimisaki]

It's awful how other ppl constantly minimize the struggles we go through on a daily basis. Like I've had family members tell me more than once that "everyone is sad sometimes", that "you just don't know what real problems are", to which I always try to explain that someone who's just sad is still able to get out of bed in the morning, take a shower, eat, like their capacities to go through their day aren's affected. And still it means the only ppl who get it are the ones that have gone through something similar... It's rly frustrating to feel like no matter what you say, or how loudly and frequently you ask for help, ppl will always just assume that we simply are being overdramatic, or that we're not "though enough".

 

[Lady_V]

They understand just fine. They know my life has been disturbing and hard. They know how alone I am. They just do not care.
I'm talking about family, not friends tho.

 

[Gangrel]

i think most people don't understand how serious we are and they also don't understand what longing for death is, the concept is alien to them

 

[SomewhereNew]

I've felt exactly this it's made me push them all away and for me to spend basically everyday completely silent. There's nothing worth discussing anymore because I want my misery to end and nobody is listening or cares

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

Tbh this makes me want to blow my brain right into their face and onto their shirt.

Relatable. This is literally why 13 Reasons Why was a confort show for me as a kid. I loved imagining the way people would actually care if I did it. Because so few seemed to care when I was suffering while alive.

 

[martyrdom]

I'm kind of the opposite. I think I've established how serious I am about it with everyone around me due to my actions, so they take it extremely seriously, which I don't like.

 

[zdeweilx]

Like you will tell them over and over again that you want to die, how you can't keep going, how horrible life is.. and they just don't take you serious at all. Sometimes they even laugh at you as if you just made a joke.

Tbh this makes me want to blow my brain right into their face and onto their shirt. Like you can't make this shit up. How loud do I have to scream for them to actually hear me? How clearly do I have to speak for them to finally listen to my words? It's so infuriating.

I'm also sick and tired of people congratulating me on my suffering. "Aw you're so strong, you worked through so much shit and you survived". What am I supposed to do?? Stop time so the shit that life is throwing at me is stuck mid air?? I don't have any say in what bs I have to live through. I can't escape, I can't stop time and I can't find a suicide method that won't make my last moments agonizing. That's the only fucking reason I'm still here.

Like how can you look at someone cowering on the ground who has been beaten to a pulp and be like "you're so strong" and laugh at them for saying they want to die? It sickens me to the core.

I could've written that. People definitely underestimate how desperate my situation is.

 

[Ramire_Artes]

Unfortunately, each person lives in their own world.