Venting Do you feel like a loser when people tell you about all the things they do?

[Zegers]

Today i had lunch with some cousins who i barely knew, at one point they started talking about all the things they do, careers, travels and I thought "ok, i get up, shower, make something to eat and that's been my day to day life for years" I felt so empty thinking about how struggling my life is and it wont change, plus i was comparing myself to how they look and they look healthy and fine and i look haggard from years of stress, anxiety and unhappiness.

Partly I feel like a ghost that has been sucked into a black hole and i feel lost.

 

[hungry_ghost]

There is the feeling of having missed out, and yes, comparing oneself to other people's successes.

I resent having made poor choices in life that led me to my current predicament.

I do look at other people, and how they glow, and look healthy, happy, a natural smile.

It's the complete opposite for me.

I look like I just got out of fucking prison, lmao.

Partly I feel like a ghost that has been sucked into a black hole and i feel lost.

Me too, luv. <3

 

[27clubBRIAN]

Totally know what you're talking about , I always feel in social settings it's a game of naming your credentials or boasting about all the dumb shit that you do . I feel like I used to know how to make my life sound interesting which I guess it was a little more exciting when I had a lifestyle but yeah when you compare yourself to others , you're always gonna suffer . I totally know that feeling when you feel like nothing you got going on is worth anything

 

[niki wonoto]

I'm 40 yrs old from Indonesia. I don't know how old are you (OP), but I can relate with your post. Especially when you're already 40, but basically still jobless/unemployed, still living with parents (dependent on them), single/not married, & basically just almost do nothing everyday (as a result of my existential depression, mostly). What's that if not a total, complete loser & useless failure? That's why I'm severely/heavily depressed, & have suicidal ideation (always thinking of suicide/death/dying basically everyday).

 

[Slimetae]

no bc we live two different lives i just say gd for u and keep it pushing .

 

[WhatPowerIs]

I'm told often not to look at social media because it portrays an unrealistic portrait of everybody's lives and that people only capture their best moments on there, which is true, but even in social settings and such I can tell my friends are way farther ahead of me in this rat race of life. They don't seem to have depression (I think) or at the very least they aren't having suicidal thoughts like I have sometimes. They have good families, good friends of their own, they can drive, they work, they're free, they're happy... they are accomplishing things while I'm wasting away.

I want to believe desperately in the idea that life is not a complete waste if you, at the very least, are enjoying what you are doing. I have moments of joy playing video games and watching movies but these are sedentary activities and it further reinforces the idea that I'm wasting my life, at least to me, but I want to break out of this mold.

All this said, yeah, I do feel like a loser.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I feel like a loser seeing everyone around me busy succeeding with their lives… People with dreams and interests working hard… That's why I hide from the world… It's too painful to look at…

 

[Graytaichi]

From dust we are formed , so to dust we shall be. Yes ,world is not fair but we all will die leaving nothing. Our fate is all the same , just food and water bathing healthy body is important.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

From dust we are formed , so to dust we shall be. Yes ,world is not fair but we all will die leaving nothing. Our fate is all the same , just food and water bathing healthy body is important.

I need to get back to Dust as soon as possible… Although I feel like little more than dirt right now…

 

[Graytaichi]

U a

I need to get back to Dust as soon as possible… Although I feel like little more than dirt right now…

I know how u feel. Your feeling will go away trust me. U only need a chance in life and events will change it!!! Trust me

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case, I don't care about what others are doing in their lives. It means nothing to me. I only envy dead people. Life is just a pointless experience that we go through for the sake of it and as long as someone is alive they are capable of suffering. I don't want any kind of life at all. Everything in life is meaningless and we will all lose everything someday so if you think about it that way, none of this matters.

 

[Graytaichi]

In my case, I don't care about what others are doing in their lives. It means nothing to me. I only envy dead people. Life is just a pointless experience that we go through for the sake of it and as long as someone is alive they are capable of suffering. I don't want any kind of life at all. Everything in life is meaningless and we will all lose everything someday so if you think about it that way, none of this matters.

I do feel the same way.

 

[Gaga786]

Definitely! All my peers are doing amazing at life unlike me. The same goes for all of my cousins. One of them is a billionaire, others run their own business, another cycles professionally representing his country in global championships. Then there is me, a loser who can't even get out of bed. Throughout all my life, my parents compared me to everyone else and it hurt me very deeply. It's like no matter what I do, I'm just not good enough

 

[Graytaichi]

Definitely! All my peers are doing amazing at life unlike me. The same goes for all of my cousins. One of them is a billionaire, others run their own business, another cycles professionally representing his country in global championships. Then there is me, a loser who can't even get out of bed. Throughout all my life, my parents compared me to everyone else and it hurt me very deeply. It's like no matter what I do, I'm just not good enough

So what. Everyone grows old. And ashes they will become.

 

[Gaga786]

So what. Everyone grows old. And ashes they will become.

They will have their loving wife alongside and children to take care of them or have someone in their life that will be close to them. I'm gay so I can't marry anyone since I live in a Muslim majority country plus I don't have any friends. It looks like I'll be alone as I grow up

 

[lofticries]

Yep.

But honestly the ppl I envy the most are those that get a quick and peaceful death.

Even if I was successful and all that jazz I'd probably still be suicidal. The only difference being my ego wouldn't be as bruised.

 

[BEATNGU]

Most humans have an inkling to "spin the truth" as it were. A dash of embellishment and exaggeration goes quite the distance. This one learned long ago that most braggartry is rarely followed by the facts to the letter it is proposed. More often than not, it is the least spoken with the most to say. The world is quite similar wherever you may wander with the only real difference being what people consume and the tune they dole out when communicating.

 

[Klophy]

Yeah, definitely. Seeing people be happy used to give me motivation now it just makes me feel worse.

 

[Burner1234]

Yes. Those conversations always get awkward. It's also one of the reasons why I stay away from LinkedIn and other social media, too. Looking at other people's achievements/careers is depressing.

 

[Ash’Girl]

Society has tried to ingrain the measure of what "success" looks like to us, mostly to keep us in the rat race of reproducing and working and paying taxes etc.

Finish school, further study, meet someone, get engaged, get married, have kids, the house, the car, the family package deal holiday: work til you die unless you can afford to retire, which most people can't afford to or don't live to the age to, or if they do, struggle so much with different ailments that by that point even if they can afford to, they can't physically engage in activities they enjoy.

Cynic, me?

That way of life never interested me, but I did used to be hungry for new experiences and connections, though I never conformed. So I'm a societal weirdo who hasn't on the surface checked the boxes of these ingrained expectations. It's always left me feeling on the outside looking in, except when I'd encounter other such "weirdos", but for some reason it's rare.

I've experienced some highs, many lows, every emotion a human can, some horrific crap but some beautiful moments. I took the chances I needed to to aim for something meaningful to me but mostly got crapped on, so I am apathetic towards bothering anymore. I tried, which used to be important to me. Now I'm just tired of life. I don't think I'd be happier if I'd conformed, I think I'd just have more responsibilities pressuring me to be a certain way for the sake of everyone else, and there's enough of that as it is, so I might even be more miserable, if less isolated.

Doesn't matter though. Can't change the past. Don't have the energy to change the present. Future looks pointless. I'm a regular lil ray of sunshine

 

[whatevs]

There are many ways to die. Some people, which are blissfully unaware, think there's just life and death, but actually you can be almost dead, you can be someone that is using all his might just to survive. The end result isn't beautiful, it isn't vibrant, it isn't smart, it isn't creative, it isn't dynamic, it isn't interesting. It's just a walking corpse with just enough life in it to achieve the unimpressive task of not dying completely, and not much else.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

Definitely! All my peers are doing amazing at life unlike me. The same goes for all of my cousins. One of them is a billionaire, others run their own business, another cycles professionally representing his country in global championships. Then there is me, a loser who can't even get out of bed. Throughout all my life, my parents compared me to everyone else and it hurt me very deeply. It's like no matter what I do, I'm just not good enough

I know what you mean. "I'm just not good enough" is a thought that enters my mind very frequently. Ugh! I look around and I still can't believe this is all life has to offer to me.

 

[foreverfalling]

I used to be deeply conscious of this feeling, when people talk about topics that I have not experienced or have no interest in. I'd feel left out but at the same time I'd have to pretend to be interested in what they are saying to 'keep the peace'. I wonder why they are interested in those things in the first place. It seemed to me that they were purely doing things like traveling the world, going to fancy restaurants so that they could tell other people about it. If they couldn't tell other people, would they still do these things?

Well I still feel this way to a degree, but now I understand that I am different from them, and I don't have to live like they do. However all that did is change how I felt from 'loser' to 'loner', because that is how 99% of people aspire to be.

 

[Zegers]

I do look at other people, and how they glow, and look healthy, happy, a natural smile.

It's the complete opposite for me.

Same. I look at some people and they look healthy and light as butterflies, and smile, well, I don't even have a reason to smile, i know comparing yourself to people isn't right but it's inevitable when you feel like you weigh a ton with every step and it's like you're going to pass out just taking a walk.

One of the girls, pretty, with thick hair and a smile of being genuinely happy, was telling things about medicine and travels, i don't know, i feel so far from a person who can act freely.

So many years of isolation have made me look bad, im losing that little motivation i used to take care of myself a little bit.

I always feel in social settings it's a game of naming your credentials or boasting about all the dumb shit that you do . I feel like I used to know how to make my life sound interesting which I guess it was a little more exciting when I had a lifestyle

That's right, no matter what country you live in, the same talks about what you have done, what you do, money, cars, properties, inheritances, travels, the shit you bought, careers, relations, what people you hang out with... so basically people who don't have a lifestyle are out.

almost do nothing everyday (as a result of my existential depression, mostly)

I'm in 30's. I've spent years doing nothing and when i started to get active i got an injury and went back to sedentary, it seems like my life is destined to not be able to do anything but rot in a flat with no good experiences at all.

They don't seem to have depression (I think) or at the very least they aren't having suicidal thoughts like I have sometimes. They have good families, good friends of their own, they can drive, they work, they're free, they're happy... they are accomplishing things while I'm wasting away.

Right, people don't seem to be sad or fucked up all the time, but in my case it's like having a black cloud hanging over me, constant problems. Thats why i feel like cursed or something.

It's like no matter what I do, I'm just not good enough

Maybe you're good at other things you haven't figured out. Every person is different.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

Right, people don't seem to be sad or fucked up all the time, but in my case it's like having a black cloud hanging over me, constant problems. Thats why i feel like cursed or something.

That's the main difference between me and them, and in a way, us and them. Yeah, sure, we don't really know what other people are going through and everybody has problems and yadda yadda but they aren't posting in a suicide forum like we are. This isn't a competition of course but the overall point that a lot of people in my life are generally better put together rings true.