Do you ever recover?

[Ronnie99]

So I had a plan to CTB before last month but as I'm under the mental health teams it all got disclosed and with the threat that I would be sectioned I agreed I wouldn't go through with it.
They're happy I'm past the date I had set myself so support is almost non existent now but do you ever get past those feelings of wanting to end it all? For me they seem stronger than before.

 

[I_love_to_bake]

Yes, if you keep pushing onwards the feelings can eventually subside. They might come back, but then you can push past them again. I like to call it riding the wave. But you never truly know what the future holds for you, so I like to focus on the here and now.

Support might feel non existant from time to time. I have felt very alone in my life, and it's okay. There is so much love out there for all of us, if we just believe and trust.

❤

 

[WhiteDespair]

Yes. The feelings can subside and pass. I currently have little to no CtB feelings or thoughts and I mutter "I hate my life" or "I wish I was dead" much less frequently.

It takes time and some effort on your part to get that way and maintain it.

 

[alexit]

So I had a plan to CTB before last month but as I'm under the mental health teams it all got disclosed and with the threat that I would be sectioned I agreed I wouldn't go through with it.
They're happy I'm past the date I had set myself so support is almost non existent now but do you ever get past those feelings of wanting to end it all? For me they seem stronger than before.

You're asking a binary question, in my opinion. Does it all go away completely or stay with you forever? I know you didn't phrase it like that or probably mean to ask it in black and white terms, but that's sometimes how we think of things without realising it. What I can say is that thoughts are sometimes just random neuron firings and don't mean a goddamn thing. So to ask if a kind of thought disappears forever or you get past something entirely is not reasonable. And I don't think it's helpful if you're looking to recover. I hope you don't take offense to this answer. I'm honestly trying to shed light on this. I don't think the question should be if you completely get past anything. This applies to addiction, grief, whatever. I think the question should be more along the lines of, Can you get to a point when these thoughts don't take over your life? And the answer I think is yes, you can. It's a bitch of a fight, but yeah it's possible and it's worth trying. I respect everyone's decision to do what they want with their life, but my person opinion is that people should try to do everything possible to recover.

 

[Ronnie99]

You're asking a binary question, in my opinion. Does it all go away completely or stay with you forever? I know you didn't phrase it like that or probably mean to ask it in black and white terms, but that's sometimes how we think of things without realising it. What I can say is that thoughts are sometimes just random neuron firings and don't mean a goddamn thing. So to ask if a kind of thought disappears forever or you get past something entirely is not reasonable. And I don't think it's helpful if you're looking to recover. I hope you don't take offense to this answer. I'm honestly trying to shed light on this. I don't think the question should be if you completely get past anything. This applies to addiction, grief, whatever. I think the question should be more along the lines of, Can you get to a point when these thoughts don't take over your life? And the answer I think is yes, you can. It's a bitch of a fight, but yeah it's possible and it's worth trying. I respect everyone's decision to do what they want with their life, but my person opinion is that people should try to do everything possible to recover.

Thanks. I do think very black and white I get told that a lot so yeh I guess the question is relating to getting to the point where the thoughts and feelings don't take over every minute of every day!

 

[muffin222]

Yes, if you keep pushing onwards the feelings can eventually subside. They might come back, but then you can push past them again. I like to call it riding the wave. But you never truly know what the future holds for you, so I like to focus on the here and now.

Support might feel non existant from time to time. I have felt very alone in my life, and it's okay. There is so much love out there for all of us, if we just believe and trust.

❤

This. Riding the wave is the only way I've found to maintain sanity in the midst of the struggle

 

[ilovenightmares]

For me it's almost like being an ex addict (I guess), once you've been there it's always there, so I'm going to answer no.

 

[dandan]

So I had a plan to CTB before last month but as I'm under the mental health teams it all got disclosed and with the threat that I would be sectioned I agreed I wouldn't go through with it.
They're happy I'm past the date I had set myself so support is almost non existent now but do you ever get past those feelings of wanting to end it all? For me they seem stronger than before.

After twenty years it thought recovery was not possible, two failed attempts on my life. Then Nitrogen then I bought N. I was feeling ready to drink N, and a member here asked me if I get got a hormone checkup, and no, so the next day I got myself a blood test and a doctor's appointment, blood results turned out with incredible low amount of testosterone, I got an injection also some dianabol pills suggested by a member here and yes, I've been a lot better perhaps recovered.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

I do think very black and white I get told that a lot so yeh I guess the question is relating to getting to the point where the thoughts and feelings don't take over every minute of every day!

You definitely can get to that point. Also, your circumstances might change, or you might think of something that can help you that you never thought of previously, and it speeds up the process.

 

[Amumu]

It fluctuates all the time... The thing is, a lot of people has suicidal thoughts (I'd say even 25% of the population) but doesn't admit it. The problem is when they're here most of the time. I think that I'm able to recover, but I'll never be able to recover entirely.

 

[mathieu]

I occasionally have a brief reprieve from it but it never lasts.

 

[BPD Barbie]

For me it's almost like being an ex addict (I guess), once you've been there it's always there, so I'm going to answer no.

Probably one of the best explanations I've seen. OP they did the same to me once I'd got past my ctb date it was like I was cured suddenly and in the eyes of people I no longer needed help.

 

[throwaway123]

it depends a lot on your environment, people around you etc...