Do you ever lost friends/family who did CTB?

[Edistrying]

I was doing a work from my psicologist and then remember that I Lost a friend long time ago who did CTB (full suspension hanging). I couldn't go to his grave, i mean i just coudnt.. years later I regretted and wrote him a letter just in a paper, today I still remember him and I wonder if he had suffered before, how much.. i would like to know, even just to talk to him and hold his hand.

so I wonder how many of you have lost someone you love to and what if their are still on you mind?

 

[smaragdyne]

I lost my last girlfriend in 2018; she took a probably-lethal dose of NyQuil and cut her throat and I found her like that. I wrote a thread telling the story a few days ago if you wanna read.

I still think about her a lot, for different reasons. Not like being sad after a break-up or something, but like missing a friend. I don't blame her for CTB though.

I also lost a very good childhood friend to a single-vehicle drunk driving accident a couple years after that; he always did crazy stuff but I sometimes wonder if it was more than just reckless driving.

Thanks for sharing your story.

 

[PinballWizard39]

I had a really good friend of mine CTB. He had just been released from the psych ward after a flare up of his schizophrenia. Nobody saw him for a few days after he got back, which was unusual, so my boss (and his boss), did a welfare check and found him dead in his house from slit wrists. It was so sad. The song 'Fix you' by Coldplay was popular and playing on the radio when this happened, so whenever I hear that song, I think of him.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

No. Never.

 

[Edistrying]

I lost my last girlfriend in 2018; she took a probably-lethal dose of NyQuil and cut her throat and I found her like that. I wrote a thread telling the story a few days ago if you wanna read.

I still think about her a lot, for different reasons. Not like being sad after a break-up or something, but like missing a friend. I don't blame her for CTB though.

I also lost a very good childhood friend to a single-vehicle drunk driving accident a couple years after that; he always did crazy stuff but I sometimes wonder if it was more than just reckless driving.

Thanks for sharing your story.

I searched the thread but i couldnt find it. Can you post the link here?

Thanks to you to sharing :)

 

[astr4]

yeah it was a family friend. got in over his head with gambling debts and was too ashamed and overwhelmed. we live on the same street so i came home to his wife screaming and crying on my front porch. my dad took the body down. i think i was 15 when it happened. my family never spoke about it. asian families somehow never do.

 

[Edistrying]

I had a really good friend of mine CTB. He had just been released from the psych ward after a flare up of his schizophrenia. Nobody saw him for a few days after he got back, which was unusual, so my boss (and his boss), did a welfare check and found him dead in his house from slit wrists. It was so sad. The song 'Fix you' by Coldplay was popular and playing on the radio when this happened, so whenever I hear that song, I think of him.

I send you a huge i hope he is peace now

 

[ladylazarus4]

yeah, a girl from the residential treatment center I went to years ago as a teenager committed suicide about a year after she was discharged. We lived in the same house for around 8 months, so I knew her really well, but we weren't close friends or anything. It hit me the hardest seeing her mom's Facebook posts about the bridge she jumped off of, etc etc

 

[QueenInsomnia]

My brother did, and I'm the one who found him 2 weeks after he had died. It took years for me to be able to remember how he looked when he was alive, whenever I'd think of him, instead of how he looked after 2 weeks decomposing in a hot apartment in the middle of summer in California.

 

[Edistrying]

yeah it was a family friend. got in over his head with gambling debts and was too ashamed and overwhelmed. we live on the same street so i came home to his wife screaming and crying on my front porch. my dad took the body down. i think i was 15 when it happened. my family never spoke about it. asian families somehow never do.

I guess no one to talk about it. They act like nothing happened.

 

[Minsu]

Uncle of my grandpa did ctb. He just jumped into the deep river with a heavy stone attached to his leg

 

[wanttodie12345]

My dad ctb decades ago. He was abusive, but I was just a child and miss him still.

 

[Cress]

My cousin jumped in front of a train last November.

 

[damienlerone03]

My best friend almost did, long story short I walked in on him just as he kicked the chair off the ground. I got him off safely and he started crying in my arms for a long long time. He's doing much better now and is on the path of recovery.

 

[phoenixdown]

My mom was desperate not to be committed I guess(?) and cut her arm with a knife. I called 911 and that's probably the most "oh shit" I've ever felt. Still get tense thinking about that moment.

Another time parents are fighting again and she grabs as many random pill bottles as possible. I grabbed a few of them out of her coat pocket and she screamed at me "you can't stop someone that's wants to do it!" And then drove off into the night. She came home a few hours later.

Both of these episodes were downplayed by the other parent as not serious and just dramatic. And never talked about again, just go to school the next day like it never happened.

 

[Maravillosa]

My grandmother shot herself when I was 14. I didn't know that she had ctb till I was in the psych ward five years later. My mom mentioned it in passing when she met with my psychiatrist at the hospital. I was shocked. Mom wouldn't tell me more for years.

 

[JealousOfTheElderly]

I've known a few people in my lifetime who've CTBd. Hanging, mixing sleeping pills and alcohol, and exit bags were some methods used. While this isn't suicide technically, I had a family member stop taking heart medication and died from that. I also had another family member fatally stabbed and didn't seek help when stabbed and went home where he bled to death.

 

[Moniker]

My brother shot himself when I was a kid. He did it in front of a police station. He was a lot older than me though - from dad's previous marriage. I never saw him much and was too young to understand the gravity of it all. He sounded talented and polite from the stories I hear. I was able to go to college thanks to an inheritance from him.

I never really got the why of it all. I'm pretty sure it was genetic. Literally all of my dad's kids have mental issues and dad himself was, at best, neglectful. I sometimes wish I could speak to him given that his death funded a good portion of my life.

 

[Edistrying]

I send a hug to all of you, sometimes we see so many traumatic things that I think we get used to it but none of that is easy.

*I send you a hug because it's the way that I had to Say that I care Even if we don't know each other. if you don't take it, that's fine.