Venting Do you ever just feel unwanted?

[Lullaby]

I don't even know why I'm posting this. Maybe I just want to be heard. Maybe I just wanted to get it out of my head. Maybe I just don't want to feel alone in this. Maybe I want someone, anyone, to say, "I get it. I see you. You're not crazy for feeling this way."

Because, honestly I'm exhausted. Not the kind of tired that sleep can fix, but the kind that seeps into your bones, that makes existing feel like a full-time job you never applied for.

You let someone in—just a little, just enough to feel something again—and then they leave. No explanation, no closure, just silence.

It's not even just with friends or partners, but family too. I call my dad all the time, and 9/10 times he just doesn't even pick up the phone.

And what hurts the most? Not a single person has ever fought for me to stay in their life. Not once. But somehow, I have fought for every single person I've ever lost. How does that even make sense?

I feel like a guest star in everyone's life. Temporary. Replaceable. I watch people build bonds, maintain friendships, stay connected, and I wonder—what is wrong with me? Why is it so easy for people to let me go?

Maintaining relationships while being depressed is a whole battle in itself. Every little thing becomes a chore. Texting back? Feels like lifting a mountain. Making plans? Feels like setting myself up to disappoint someone.

Even just existing around other people feels like I'm forcing myself to be someone I can't keep up with. And when I pull away, even just a little, people leave. Every. Single. Time.

It's like I have this expiration date with everyone. They like me at first. They care. They stick around long enough to make me feel safe. And then gone. And I'm left trying to figure out what I did wrong, what part of me was too much or not enough.

I just want to know—does anyone else feel this way? Do you ever just sit with yourself and wonder if you're fundamentally unlovable? Or if people only tolerate you until they realize you're not as easy to care for as they thought?

It's something that's really contributed to my ideation over the years. Feels like why fight to continue living, when no one seems to really care about my existence while I'm still here?

 

[whywere]

Totally feel where you are coming from. Starting with my "parents" dropping me off on a street curb the day after my 18th birthday with no money, no food, no shelter nothing but a garbage bag of my clothes.

After that and all through my life I always try 110% to be so nice and caring and sometimes get dumped on and used, HOWEVER I truly believe in the goodness of most folks and the few and far between has never and will never keep me from helping folks and working hard to give them a smile and to believe in themselves and tomorrow like YOU!

YOU are such a so very kind, caring and thoughtful soul who gives so much love and friendship to others with ambivalence back. Now like I mentioned about my experiences, everyone finds greedy people, self-centered people, fake people, jerks and the list go on. BUT there are also nice people, just look at all the awesome souls here!

I wish for you to keep going and try and remember that it can be a numbers game with society to find folks who receive and also GIVE BACK. Please do not try and let some ill-mannered and maybe thoughtless people either make a person withdrawal from making new friends and possibly more.

When I was standing on the street corner back in 1974 with the bag of my clothes in my hand and wondering "where in the heck and I am going to get something to eat and a room to stay", there came along a person that I had said hi to in high school a few times and he stopped picked me up and took me back to his folks house. He talked to his parents, and they agreed to take me in for free and helped me to get on my feet.

With that story, there are good folks out there, it just takes some time, sometimes, to find BUT the results are truly worth it.

I wish the same for you and all the very best to you with lots of love, hugs and the knowledge that YOU are such a loving and caring spirit who is so important and worthy, so wonderful is YOU!

Walter

 

[Nervous young man]

I feel unwanted all the time and I know I am because I've been told it multiple times, sometimes people will try to hide it because people are very egocentric and don't like admitting when they've failed but everyone always leaves in the end. When people feel moral culpability for something they make attempts at relationships with me so when it inevitably fails because of my condition it soon fades to resentment. I am always alone in the end. I relate with what you say pretty heavily, feeling like a guest star, being replaced ( for me its whenever I'm not convenient ). Thank you for sharing your story I hope you find peace soon.

 

[G000pie]

I can't remember the last time I felt genuinely wanted. This world wasn't made for me and I wasn't made for this world

 

[ChocoholicSawako]

I'm not good at English at all but I really read your post from the first word to the last, ever carefully. It's poetically heartbreaking, and evocative.
I could never say that I'm as or more suffered as/than anyone because there's not actually any "pain index". But I do relate. And I shall appreciate you for voicing my heart.
If talking offers temporary help and cope and you'd like to talk, my DM is always open. Words are so weak but strong sometimes and I hope that I can do my bit.
Best wishes!

 

[butimstillsoblue]

I get it.
I see you.
I hear you.
You're not crazy for feeling this way.

I feel alone and unwanted every day and every night. Because I am! I cried about it earlier today.

No family. Love of my life left when I got sick.
Every friend I've made is gone now, even the ones I loved and supported with everything I had. But when I needed support, they were gone.

I'm exhausted to my core. I feel like I'm done, can't do it again because I won't survive the heart break. It defo adds another reason to the list of why I don't want to stay.

 

[Lullaby]

Totally feel where you are coming from. Starting with my "parents" dropping me off on a street curb the day after my 18th birthday with no money, no food, no shelter nothing but a garbage bag of my clothes.

After that and all through my life I always try 110% to be so nice and caring and sometimes get dumped on and used, HOWEVER I truly believe in the goodness of most folks and the few and far between has never and will never keep me from helping folks and working hard to give them a smile and to believe in themselves and tomorrow like YOU!

YOU are such a so very kind, caring and thoughtful soul who gives so much love and friendship to others with ambivalence back. Now like I mentioned about my experiences, everyone finds greedy people, self-centered people, fake people, jerks and the list go on. BUT there are also nice people, just look at all the awesome souls here!

I wish for you to keep going and try and remember that it can be a numbers game with society to find folks who receive and also GIVE BACK. Please do not try and let some ill-mannered and maybe thoughtless people either make a person withdrawal from making new friends and possibly more.

When I was standing on the street corner back in 1974 with the bag of my clothes in my hand and wondering "where in the heck and I am going to get something to eat and a room to stay", there came along a person that I had said hi to in high school a few times and he stopped picked me up and took me back to his folks house. He talked to his parents, and they agreed to take me in for free and helped me to get on my feet.

With that story, there are good folks out there, it just takes some time, sometimes, to find BUT the results are truly worth it.

I wish the same for you and all the very best to you with lots of love, hugs and the knowledge that YOU are such a loving and caring spirit who is so important and worthy, so wonderful is YOU!

Walter

Walter, your message truly touched my heart. Thank you so much for sharing your story and for reminding me (and everyone here) that kindness does still exist, even when the world feels incredibly isolating. The way you kept your heart open despite everything you went through is something I really admire, and it gives me hope that maybe, just maybe, I can do the same.

I hope you're right and that finding the right people can take time. Your words mean more than you know.

Thank you for seeing me, for reminding me that I'm not alone, and for sharing your light. I truly wish you all the best, and I hope you know that your kindness made an impact today

I feel unwanted all the time and I know I am because I've been told it multiple times, sometimes people will try to hide it because people are very egocentric and don't like admitting when they've failed but everyone always leaves in the end. When people feel moral culpability for something they make attempts at relationships with me so when it inevitably fails because of my condition it soon fades to resentment. I am always alone in the end. I relate with what you say pretty heavily, feeling like a guest star, being replaced ( for me its whenever I'm not convenient ). Thank you for sharing your story I hope you find peace soon.

I definitely hear every word you're saying, and I feel it deep in my bones.

The cycle of people showing up, making you think they care, and then disappearing when it's no longer convenient…it's genuinely one of the hardest things to live through.

And when you've been told outright that you're unwanted, it starts feeling impossible to believe anything else.

I do want you to know that, even if it feels like people only show up out of guilt, you are still worth showing up for. And even if others have failed you, that's a reflection of them, not of you. It's something I keep trying to remind myself, even when it's honestly hard to believe.

You are not alone in this. I get it. And I truly hope, even in the smallest of ways, that you find a little bit of peace too

I can't remember the last time I felt genuinely wanted. This world wasn't made for me and I wasn't made for this world

I struggle with these thoughts everyday. I'm glad you're on here because there's so many of us who feel like you, and it's comforting just a little knowing that.

I'm not good at English at all but I really read your post from the first word to the last, ever carefully. It's poetically heartbreaking, and evocative.
I could never say that I'm as or more suffered as/than anyone because there's not actually any "pain index". But I do relate. And I shall appreciate you for voicing my heart.
If talking offers temporary help and cope and you'd like to talk, my DM is always open. Words are so weak but strong sometimes and I hope that I can do my bit.
Best wishes!

Your english is great! And the fact that you took the time to read my words so carefully and then respond with so much kindness means more to me than I can say. Your words do have strength, and they reached me in exactly the way I needed.

Just knowing that someone else understands makes all the difference. And your offer to talk is incredibly kind; even just reading that made me feel a little less alone.

I'm always here if you need to talk, too! Don't be afraid to ever randomly reach out.

I get it.
I see you.
I hear you.
You're not crazy for feeling this way.

I feel alone and unwanted every day and every night. Because I am! I cried about it earlier today.

No family. Love of my life left when I got sick.
Every friend I've made is gone now, even the ones I loved and supported with everything I had. But when I needed support, they were gone.

I'm exhausted to my core. I feel like I'm done, can't do it again because I won't survive the heart break. It defo adds another reason to the list of why I don't want to stay.

This made me pause because it was exactly what I needed to hear. And I wish I could turn around and say the same words back to you in a way that truly made them stick…

I don't really know what's more upsetting at this point… feeling alone or knowing that there are others who understand because they're hurting just as much. Either way, I wish things were different for both of us. I wish none of us had to feel this kind of exhaustion, this kind of heartbreak that makes it feel impossible to keep trying.

But for what its worth, I'm glad you're here, and that this site is even up for us to meet people who understand.

I'm glad we could share this moment of understanding, even if it's just words on a screen. And I truly hope you find even a sliver of comfort tonight, because you deserve that much and more.




Thank you guys for even responding. I've been emotional all week, and it's nice to come here and remind myself that I'm not alone in feeling the way I do. Seriously <3

 

[cazza82]

I can't remember the last time I felt genuinely wanted. This world wasn't made for me and I wasn't made for this world

I feel the same I've never felt wanted or loved ever I'm tired of always being that disappointment and never being enough they always remind me of how much of a failure I am and how completely worthless I am I already know this yet they still continue to kick me while I'm down it's cruel they won I believe it

 

[Pluto]