Venting Do you ever feel like you will never be loved?

[Spidermanspiderpoo]

I know, I know, the title sounds like something you've probably heard a million times.
It's just, I don't know, the feeling when you have people you talk to everyday and it's not really a dry conversation either but you can't ever feel any love. It's that gaping hole in my heart that refuses to close or accept any possible explanation other than the fact that I am not loved. At this point, I would even settle to be hated. I don't want to be transparent anymore. I don't want to be irrelevant. I don't want to be.... invisible. It's not even that I'm overthinking things. It really is like that. None of my friends seem to give a half ass shit about me. I see my own helplessness and desperation in trying to do things for them. "Maybe if I do this for them, they'll love me. Maybe if I make something for them, they'll love me. Maybe if I tell them I love them, they might as least pretend to love me." I'm tired... I want to be loved. I want to be loved. I want to be loved.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

Love is a lie

 

[Darkover]

i thought that love was a kind of emptiness

 

[Dead Ghost]

Often..
//
Sovint..

 

[Walilamdzii]

I don't feel able to, or a desire to connect to anyone or anything really.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I never learned how to receive love properly until late in life

 

[Spidermanspiderpoo]

I never learned how to receive love properly until late in life

How was it?

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

How was it?

It's wonderful and it's really so simple… You just find the right person and you connect… The kind of thing I should've learned as an infant…

 

[almaranthine]

The only love I feel is the possessive and inherent type of love that family members have over a person. It's like a natural response. If they feel they are moral, good people, then it would be wrong of them not to "love" me, so they continue to love me, or act as though they love me. Other than that... no, I've never been loved. I've asked myself if I've really loved other people, aside from the familial love that I reflect right back to my family members as an obligation. I thought I did in the past, but presently, reflecting, I'm not sure. I believed myself to have been "in love" twice. I had friendships in the past and I considered that I had love for my friends and went out of my way to be caring and help them when I could... but I suspect that my deep motivation for doing all of that was because I didn't want to be alone, and I wanted to prove myself to be good enough and useful enough to be kept around and given attention. Idfk at this point.

 

[Mashedout]

I don't really care. To me it's just more pleasure chasing instead of purpose. And that's a road to further weakness and further suffering. I'm not saying it wouldn't be nice and all, but it isn't at the top list of priorities. I don't want things to be easier, I want myself to be stronger because from what I've seen this world isn't easy and it's never going to be. I want to be able to handle anything. Just as we were forced to participate here, we may be forced to participate elsewhere after death and I want to be prepared. I want to be so strong, I don't need love or anything else. I want to be able to walk through Hell and still smile. That's really the only way to prepare for the shitshow we find ourselves in.

The greatest thing I ever saw any human being do was that monk that set himself on fire and died without moving. Can you even imagine the amount of mental strength someone like that had? It's almost unrelatable. He transcended humanity in that moment and became something greater.

 

[Spidermanspiderpoo]

went out of my way to be caring and help them when I could... but I suspect that my deep motivation for doing all of that was because I didn't want to be alone, and I wanted to prove myself to be good enough and useful enough to be kept around and given attention.

I relate to this way too much lol..

 

[Sick of it all]

I gave up on love after losing it several times. These days being loved is the last thing I think of. I just want the sweet relief of death's embrace.

 

[outatime_85]

Do you ever feel like you will never be loved? Yes, I will never be loved, liked, needed, or wanted by anyone.

Until shown otherwise, I have accepted that I am defective and unlovable.

That said, to those who seek to be loved and cared for or just want to be given hugs, I hope you find that and anything else that may bring you some joy.

 

[theboy]

Always

 

[SarRy]

What does it mean to be loved for you? It seems most friendships are just people using each other like a business partnership.
I know we tend to see ourselves in the reflection of others. It's hard to love yourself when you've learned from others that you don't desire it.
It's one thing to want friends when you need help in life. As the saying goes, "Nobody knows you when you're down."
But, if you don't need them and can get along in life without friends, then what are you truly missing?
A life of a hermit nature can be quite fulfilling. Do the things you enjoy. Create art. Do something you feel makes a difference or is that you think has value.
I don't have answers about friendship. Sharing hobbies or activities seem to be how friendships are made and maintained. Still, I've only found that friendships are cheap.

 

[lionetta12]

I know, I know, the title sounds like something you've probably heard a million times.
It's just, I don't know, the feeling when you have people you talk to everyday and it's not really a dry conversation either but you can't ever feel any love. It's that gaping hole in my heart that refuses to close or accept any possible explanation other than the fact that I am not loved. At this point, I would even settle to be hated. I don't want to be transparent anymore. I don't want to be irrelevant. I don't want to be.... invisible. It's not even that I'm overthinking things. It really is like that. None of my friends seem to give a half ass shit about me. I see my own helplessness and desperation in trying to do things for them. "Maybe if I do this for them, they'll love me. Maybe if I make something for them, they'll love me. Maybe if I tell them I love them, they might as least pretend to love me." I'm tired... I want to be loved. I want to be loved. I want to be loved.

I will never be loved and I have accepted this. Everyone that's ever «loved me» has told me that the only value I have is to be used sexually, be taken advantage of financially or to be used as a free therapist for them. I also question if love even is real, love is not real in my opinion, love = being addicted and/or sometimes being dependant on someone else. But that is just my new found opinion after having philosophied about this question and topic for a few years. Addiction to another person might fool yourself and make you think that that is love, but when you think about it, the feeling of «love» feels and sounds pretty similar to the one of addiction.

 

[makethepainstop]

Love can do and make many things better, but like money it's not always easy to acquire!

 

[sundown12]

at least you have friends

 

[freedompass]

I question love too from the vantage point of my 60 years. I recently had the chance to get to know my mother better and discovered some unexpected things. I came to the conclusion that not only did my parents not love each other (which they made fairly obvious to be fair) but I don't think they had the capacity to love us kids either. It's not personal. Arguably I was fortunate to be well cared and provided for. Mum did what she could but she seemed deficient in the emotions department.

I embarked on adult life, a depressed mess, and rather than choose a partner, allowed them to choose me. This did not yield a good result, most of these liaisons were borne of desperation, a pattern that would follow me through the 'prime' years when most seek out or attract a mate and settle down. I'd had no role model of a loving relationship, my parents were unhappy and ill matched.

When the manic episodes kicked in around 30 these destructive patterns escalated. I cringe looking back, honestly.

So, long story short. This is why, essentially, I'm happy, relieved and in a good place now. (Relatively!) I've got a couple of good female friends, but fuck 'love', all it did was fuck me over. I 100% believe it's possible to live a good life without it.

 

[Sakura94]

sadly yes

 

[brokensea]

Your post is so relatable. You think by doing things someone will appreciate you. If you provide all of the love no one gives to you. But sadly no one cares.

I'm not sure if I can feel love anymore. What I feel is more like an echo of love. I don't think I can feel much and not really anything positive like love. I don't care about much of anything anymore. It would be nice to be loved in the right way. To not be abused or left or exploited. I haven't ever seen such a thing in my life. It's like wanting a dream that humans aren't capable of in reality. It's like a fairy tale.

 

[Insaner_Robot]

Love might still be around almost anybody, maybe not romantic but still love.

Parents are supposed to love unconditionally, most do. Unpleasant words, falling outs are brief and transitory compared to that. It can also be found from a cat or dog, they can add to any family you might have and if you love them they are fully capable of returning that.

Love can still be found for many people, but not all. For me the last person who loved me died. Everybody I cared about and who cared about me is now gone. Except for my families two cats. but If they keep me we would all lose the only home we've ever known.

If you still have family around you try not to give up on them as they might not want to give up on you. For me, I've lost friends and save for the two cats my entire family. And I can't bear the crushing weight of the pain loneliness and despair alone.

 

[foreverfalling]

I've wanted to be loved since I was young. I remember sighing loudly, hoping someone would notice my pain and comfort me. I'd look all around me at people, trying to see signs if they were like me and needed someone genuine to be there for each other. The only person that can love me only exists in my imagination. There is just us two in the world, and we can just sit calmly together with no obligations to the world, no societal standards to meet, no need to act a certain way. It took me a long time to realise it is so idealistic it doesn't exist in real life.

In real life you only matter to people if you benefit them in some way. Good luck finding people to love you for who you are, because by that very definition, you are not benefiting other people, so there is no reason for them to want to associate with you. If I was being myself all the them, then I'd be open about how I felt about suicide, then how many people would even want to talk to me?

Love is an abstract concept. When you don't have it, you want it. But what happens when you do get it? Will you want more? Will you lose it? Then you end up in the same place.

 

[hellispink]

Some people have the luck of being loved. I have seen the love respect and appreciation a human can have towards another. However, mentally sick individuals like me are not loved. I might be some kind of unloveable poisonus rat. I am okay with that. Because I don't love anyone either. I truly do not feel any emotion of that sort toward any other human. It wasn't always like this, i onced wanted to be loved too. But time flies and not everything stays the same, I accepted my destiny. I accepted that I can't love and cannot be loved either.

 

[Throwawaysoul]

I'm in my 40s it's probably never going to happen and it's really been fucking with me.

 

[StolenLife]

I know I'll never be loved because if I was someone to be loved I wouldn't have been so damn alone which means I'm unloveable. And even when I had positive attention I didn't know how to handle it so I fucked it up. It's better for everyone if I'm just left alone to rot and die it seems.

 

[S like suicide]

This is the story of my life

 

[Klophy]

I probably have a better chance of winning the lottery...

It's a depressing realization but at least there'll be no disappointment when I eventually CTB.

 

[Someday_Somehow32]

Is there even a point to love anymore? I can't name anyone I know who is happy and in love.

I wish I could be loved but I know if I was someone else I would want to be with me either.