Do you ever end up accidentally talking about suicide with family?

[Siamese Believe]

Is this common with suicidal people? I try not to do it, it psychologically damages others.

They shouldn't have to hear it. I try to keep it to myself but it's hard. I have no one… I feel like I'm in a world all by myself.

Plus it's already gonna be bad for them once I do it. But the sooner I'm gone, the sooner they can start to heal and adjust to life without me at least.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

In what context? Tell us more?

 

[Rainbow Dash]

Me. No.

I keep that to myself. One wrong slip and 5150/bakers/kendras law wherever your are or called lol.

 

[Siamese Believe]

In what context? Tell us more?

The most relevant example would be going over the little reasons why I haven't done it yet.

 

[woofwag]

Not with my family, but with friends, professors, sometimes even strangers, yeah. I can't always help it. It just kind of slips out.

About that last line, though -- I don't think dying sooner will help them adjust to life without you any easier. It's actually the opposite. People don't expect others to "die young." Someone dying even in their fifties can be tragic because most people don't die that young. My mom is in her sixties, and it would completely blindside and devastate me if she died now. In her seventies, ok, I'd probably be a bit more prepared because that's just kind of how human lifespans work. But people dying young is far more painful and harder to recover from. You won't be doing them a disservice by continuing to live. Even if all you can do is live and exist and nothing more, I promise that is far less devastating than dying. But I understand the pain. The only person who can benefit from you CTB'ing is you. Don't make up scenarios for how it will benefit other people, because I can promise you, it will not relieve anyone's pain but your own.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

The most relevant example would be going over the little reasons why I haven't done it yet.

Oh wow, ok, so then they definitely know you want to CTB? Or sort of know?

 

[Siamese Believe]

Oh wow, ok, so then they definitely know you want to CTB? Or sort of know?

Yeah they do, I haven't explicitly given a time and date of course or anything, but I have said that I've been close to it.

They kinda just brush it off. It's better that way though at least, don't need them interfering with my plans.

 

[Jadeith]

Do you ever end up accidentally talking about suicide with family?

Depends. About MY suicide? Reasons, chosen method, etc? No. Never. About suicide in general? Happened few times but not much and not initiated by me. Usually started by some news or other article more or less related to the topic.

 

[Arvayn]

I did not talk about it with them beyond informing them of the diagnosis that was given to me. They seemed to take it well at first, and we did not speak of it beyond that.
However, one day, when my mother was having a particularly stressful day, she abruptly poured out her anger on me, telling me that it is my fault I have depression, that I am ungrateful, and that she is going to break my legs to give me something tangible to be depressed about. In response, I asked "Anything else?", which caused her to leave, and that was that.

Indeed, the subject seems to be actively offensive to my family. I pity them.

 

[SanagiMezamete]

What a coincidence. I let the topic slip a little just now to someone in my family. I don't mean to do it but sometimes I get so incensed at the ignorance that normal people will parrot about suicide and depression. I get passionate in my beliefs or feel so frustrated at my suffering that I turn the release valve a little bit. I try my best not to though, both to prevent intervention and because I know it stresses them out. There's really nothing they can do to change my mind anyways.