I am asking because throughout my life I realized I have no single personality. It becomes kinda obvious when you have suffered certain mental damage, but most of the times for "normal" people it is concealed by psychological protection mechanisms. I also tried to get away from this conclusion, thinking I am childish or not being serious, but it's impossible to ignore.
A lot of times in my life I spontaneously plunged in strange states of mind when I thought someone else or something else takes control of me, influences my actions and dissolves into my thoughts. Mostly if I was able to retain clear mind in such moments, it took form of an image of various unusual creatures which assemble themselves from nothing and dissipate into nothing. I could associate myself with these creatures, but I can't say they are the very same person which is now typing this message. It's like they surface from deep ocean and then sink again. If you've read "Solaris", you know what I mean.
In some borderline cases, I lost myself during such episodes, lost time count, ability to speak, and so on. Maybe 2 or 3 people in my life have seen me in this state of mind, usually they were thinking I was taking some hard drugs (although I never took any drugs and never even drank alcohol in my life) or was hypnotized without being properly "dehypnotized" afterwards (that's what one of my psychoterapists said to me). But what I truly believe has happened is other parts of me were "eclipsing" usual "normal" personality which was formed by ordinary social interaction, role models and learning. This says a lot about our society being repressive against mental diversity except very rare cases (see further).
I think all archetypic ideas about supernatural beings like angels, demons, gods etc. result from this interesting feature of our mind - construct alternate personalities and separate them within the bounds of your consciousness. When you're under extreme pressure, suffering from extreme pain, experiencing great emotions, being hypersensitive, taking psychoactive drugs maybe... all this results in inability of your consciousness to synchronize different mental processes, and multipersonality becomes obvious. It's kinda sad though that such experience of very few people becomes the norm (various historical figures associated with religion, like Christ, Buddha, prophets, saints, etc) and people embrace it, while similar experiences of other people are considered mental illness or just something weird. I hope in the future this stigma will change, because having alternate personalities inside you could be a great coping mechanism (let alone various mystical ideas which are not universal and different for everyone).
What's your thoughts on this? Have you ever felt being "not whole"? Maybe it helped you in some life situations or worsened everything? I can't answer clearly myself, cause for me it clearly was a coping mechanism but also now is one of the reasons I want to ctb.
A lot of times in my life I spontaneously plunged in strange states of mind when I thought someone else or something else takes control of me, influences my actions and dissolves into my thoughts. Mostly if I was able to retain clear mind in such moments, it took form of an image of various unusual creatures which assemble themselves from nothing and dissipate into nothing. I could associate myself with these creatures, but I can't say they are the very same person which is now typing this message. It's like they surface from deep ocean and then sink again. If you've read "Solaris", you know what I mean.
In some borderline cases, I lost myself during such episodes, lost time count, ability to speak, and so on. Maybe 2 or 3 people in my life have seen me in this state of mind, usually they were thinking I was taking some hard drugs (although I never took any drugs and never even drank alcohol in my life) or was hypnotized without being properly "dehypnotized" afterwards (that's what one of my psychoterapists said to me). But what I truly believe has happened is other parts of me were "eclipsing" usual "normal" personality which was formed by ordinary social interaction, role models and learning. This says a lot about our society being repressive against mental diversity except very rare cases (see further).
I think all archetypic ideas about supernatural beings like angels, demons, gods etc. result from this interesting feature of our mind - construct alternate personalities and separate them within the bounds of your consciousness. When you're under extreme pressure, suffering from extreme pain, experiencing great emotions, being hypersensitive, taking psychoactive drugs maybe... all this results in inability of your consciousness to synchronize different mental processes, and multipersonality becomes obvious. It's kinda sad though that such experience of very few people becomes the norm (various historical figures associated with religion, like Christ, Buddha, prophets, saints, etc) and people embrace it, while similar experiences of other people are considered mental illness or just something weird. I hope in the future this stigma will change, because having alternate personalities inside you could be a great coping mechanism (let alone various mystical ideas which are not universal and different for everyone).
What's your thoughts on this? Have you ever felt being "not whole"? Maybe it helped you in some life situations or worsened everything? I can't answer clearly myself, cause for me it clearly was a coping mechanism but also now is one of the reasons I want to ctb.
