Do Things get Better as you get Older?

[ClownW0rld]

It seems like most suicides are people in the 16-24 age range during adolescence and early adulthood. Do things tend to improve for people after this?

 

[S_IsMyUsername]

I think that the time between 16-24 is simply the hardest as far as the topic is concerned, and then it becomes easier for many or they learn to live better with it. Depending on what you have it can also stop. I would say it depends on the person.

 

[FuneralCry]

No and in my case existing will just get worse as time goes on, it fills me with dread the thought of existing for much longer. Existing is just pointless suffering, under no circumstances could I ever wish to decay from age, the thought of such a thing disturbs me.

And in general I just don't see how it could ever be desirable being trapped in such cruel and meaningless existence where there is unlimited potential to suffer endlessly. Only death can bring me the relief I search for, existence just causes harm.

 

[S_IsMyUsername]

No and in my case existing will just get worse as time goes on,

Yes it can also get worse. For me it will probably get worse with each year as my depression is genetic and when I look at my mom, sure she hasn't CTB'd yet but I see what my fate will be.

 

[DepressoExpresso19]

for some people yes for others no, however as you can probably suspect anyone you ask on here if they are on here and are older will say no as it hasn't for them but this isn't the case for everyone. You don't really know how your life will turn out when your older unless you live to see it really- someone elses experiences wont be able to give u any indication.

 

[fastFWD]

it depends on so many things, some within your control and other things that are not in your control. but imo, in general it is what you do now that will determine how things will unfold for you in the future. wishing you the best possible future.

 

[rainseahorse]

things don't necessarily improve and they probably won't in most cases, unless your issues are temporary. and i'm pretty sure depressive disorders are constant throughout every age brackets.

 

[aitouka]

I'm going to be honest - I don't think it'll get better. You just either accept the horrid reality, or you're dead already. What a shit society. I'm sorry.

 

[suicidal flapper]

I don't think it does. Everyone tells me it will get better with time but I see people in person who didn't get better. I know someone who's still traumatized and suicidal at age 57 who was told the same

 

[ksp]

with age, you will probably develop better coping mechanisms

 

[suiprincess]

No in my case I tried everything but it's not a mental problem but a I want to leave the room as I do not have an interest being there issue. Doctors don't actually listen to you and police make things worst and have a tendency to lie about info in calls regarding what they did or accused you of. I don't want to be here period but trying to get this message across without being placed on a FORM 1 and locked away from society is impossible. My best bet is liver failure at this point from alcohol binge drinking every weekend.

 

[ChronicallyCynical]

I think that age range has more to do with impulsivity and emotional intensity. Younger people tend to act before they think more often than the older ones (not always, just often) and they are not as used to the complicated and intense emotions they now have to deal with, or they're not used to standing out so starkly against the normal crowd in how they think and feel. Differences only grow as you age, but when you're relatively young you're more sensitive to them, after which you tend to either "grow a thicker skin", grow number, or learn to cope.

A younger person who wishes to ctb may somehow in their youthfulness feel less restrained in their actions. They're more likely to get into accidents, brawls, toxic relationships and dangerous situations. I'm not surprised they'd be more likely to ctb. They also tend to be targeted more, especially by each other, which puts more immediate pressure on their surroundings. Yeah, I'm miserable now and it's not getting better, but I feel less of the constant pushing and shoving around than I did as a kid/teen, I feel less like people are purposefully trying to keep me away from them. I still think people don't really want me around, but if they actually don't, they show it a lot more subtly. It creates a space to doubt your own doubts, where it was much more apparent people wouldn't care if you stopped breathing back when we were young and nobody understood what subtlety meant, back when filters weren't a thing, and we sent the first message we typed out, even if that message was "you should go drink a cup of pure vinegar".

I'm not sure it so much gets better, as it starts to become your miserable normal, and now without the impulsiveness its all the harder to go through with cbt -- and also you're more likely to have responsibilities and other relationships beyond potentially toxic familial ones or toxic highschool friendships, which may keep you tied to existence, concerned about how you'll be leaving those responsibilities and people and thus spend more time contemplating it. Some still have all that toxicity, don't have the job, etc. but a good deal will.

I doubt mental health magically gets better after 25. Maybe a lot of those who survive past that age become desensitized to their own suffering enough to consider living in spite of it all. And the rest that don't experience such a thing end up here. Maybe even see it get worse with time, as the painful experiences accumulate.

Although, I do wonder, if there was a poll inquiring about the age-ranges of the users of SS, and if we could somehow know the ages of those who have had their accounts banned/deactivated, either because they left for recovery purposes, were banned-banned or committed ctb, if that would match up with those age ranges. Granted, I also think it would be better to leave the banned/deactivated accounts be, but... I'm nevertheless curious about the numbers.

---

"You either die miserable, or you live long enough to see yourself become even more miserable."

 

[P@in]

As you get older your immunity system gets weaker, more chances for chronic pains and sicknesses to reveal suddenly.
The body hurts, low/high blood pressure, harder to sleep well if at all in some cases...

Some people say that they feel better in their older age then when they were feeling in their 20s-30s, 'cus they started to do more physical activity. I guess every individual and his own case here.

Still, getting old is no fun in my opinion.

 

[Zegers]

"to comprehend your present, look at your past, to forecast the future, look at your present"

 

[Letmedienow]

I think it depends on the person. I had depression and anxiety as a kid but was never suicidal until my 30s, but that was due to the circumstances of my life and everything that has happened since then. I also became more aware of the reality of the world and how cruel and unfair it is. I definitely had more hope when I was younger, in spite of my depression. I laugh thinking of the kid I used to be, who was so scared of death and wanted to live forever. She'd be so surprised that I've tried to ctb and wish I was never born.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

If you are not proactive and extremely careful of the choices you make, not likely. But I feel that the younger you are, the more control you have over your fate and can makes things happen.

 

[Madao]

And in general I just don't see how it could ever be desirable being trapped in such cruel and meaningless existence where there is unlimited potential to suffer endlessly.

I don't get what you mean by "unlimited" and "endlessly". We're here foe a finite amount of time...am I missing something?

 

[compositionheart]

From my perspective, you wake up standing on a mountain of past traumas, fearful of what's to come and no end of the suffering in sight.

Also, after multiple traumas and mental breakdowns, I feel a shadow of my former self, with no hope of returning to those 'golden years' or my prime

 

[bored2death]

i found that with age, the things that bothered me when younger no longer bother me. they were a big deal at the time, but with time and experience, it's all dumb bullshit. it seems big because it's new. that said, i found new things to be bothered by.

everyone can make their own choices. i do think a lot of the young person depression can come from holding back/trying to please others/etc. obviously i'm not including people who've been through trauma.

 

[alexit]

Yeah they do. They absolutely do. If you can keep from sabotaging yourself and keeping yourself healthy, then wisdom kicks in. Too late for me.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

It seems like most suicides are people in the 16-24 age range during adolescence and early adulthood. Do things tend to improve for people after this?

NOPE !!!
Not for me anyway. Not telling anyone what to do.

 

[Furbabymama53]

As a 70-year old woman who was diagnosed with major depression 50 years ago, then Borderline Personality Disorder in 1987, and Dysthymia added a few years ago, I can only tell you my experience. I've rarely felt happy, I just have varying degrees of depression with Borderline symptoms added in. My world is a degree of gray to black daily. I've been medicated with everything that came down the pike, and in therapy for 45 years, and in-patient hospitalizations and IOPs. Recently my two best friends, independently of each other, advised my anger is out of control and perhaps I should go back into therapy and get to the root of childhood trauma. I do not remember any trauma, and have basically denied anything happened. But I took the bull by the horns and had an intake with a LSW with specialties in BPD and trauma, with treatment through DBT. I don't know why I'm doing this. I pray daily to die. I have nothing to look forward to except getting sick. I live in Maine, which does have Death with Dignity, but I have no life-threatening problems except my mental state. My entire family is dead; I never married or had children. I am existing, not living, and I am suffering every single day. I do have a couple of options to CTB, I just have stayed for my friends, but now it feels like I don't even have them anymore.

 

[Duality]

The only answer to this question is that it might. There's no guarantee unfortunately, it's really more like a gamble whether or not to keep going for the possibility of things getting better, and it's up to the individual to decide whether or not it's worth it to gamble.

But whether or not things get better should be separate to having the choice of killing oneself, i.e. even if it does get better, you should still have the option to leave this world.

Anyway, all I can add is my own personal experience. I've had a hard life compared to most, and things have gotten better for me, but I still plan on ending my life.

 

[HighFlight]

Generally, in many ways it does get better as you get older because you obtain a level of wisdom to deal with problems, and experience life. There can be many joys in life that happen between 25 and say 60 (just to pick a number). Raising a family. Gaining respect in the community. Greater freedoms. These are things "normal" people value, and with them comes happiness. After a certain point though, your body begins to really break down and the suffering increases.

However, it really depends on the individual. Some people have illnesses and issues that will not get better and aging just prolongs the suffering. Only you, hopefully with help and support from a loving family and caring medical professionals, can determine if you fall into this category.

Side note: I believe the group with the largest number of suicides in the US is over the age of 64, and usually done by firearm. This is due to the physical and mental problems of aging.

 

[Already Gone6]

I have schizophrenia so probably not. It's a lifelong illness, no cure. Just meds that I can't even tolerate anymore. Always tossing them.
Also I heard on the living well with schizophrenia channel (yeah right....) that 10% of the people with the illness commit suicide. Up to 40% attempt.

 

[Gonnerr]

Suicide in Canada - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

In my country suicide by age is highest between 45 and 49 amongst men and betweeen 50 and 54 amongst women.

 

[stage4johnny]

former some people yes for others no, however as you can probably suspect anyone you ask on here if they are on here and are older will say no as it hasn't for them but this isn't the case for everyone. You don't really know how your life will turn out when your older unless you live to see it really- someone elses experiences wont be able to give u any indication.

I am older and yes,things do get better as you get older. My twenties were hell. But,as stated,when you get older you face increasing instances of things going Horribly Wrong. My mother's death was terrible. Really bad.
But I recovered and had appreciation for life,and felt like I was retaining my looks and health. Women were certainly more attracted to the older me than the young guy.
But then at some point, depending on many variables,genes and lifestyle begin to take their toll.
I got Afib at 57.
My wife died at 64!!!!!
All kinds of shit happening,my body doing shit I thought was for others,like fast heart beat. Need pills. Then at 67 I got cancer. Im-fucking-possible! that's for others.
So to simplify,yes I think your ability to move thru the world and be content DOES improve. But the world you're in can change!
Ask not for whom the bell tolls,right?
It tolls for thee.Well,sooner or later. Again,it could be " later!"
But please don't take my life as a typical one. You MAY VERY VERY well find happiness,contentment and love if you stick around!!!
I could've had better,a lot of it is my fault. Getting older has lots of benefits, I recommend it,tbh.Strongly! Don't be in a hurry to ctb!
I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT ENCOURAGE ANYONE TO CTB!!! DONT BE AFRAID TO GO FORWARD. BE SMART,HARDWORKING,AND BE GIVING. IT MAY VERY FUCKIN WELL BE GOOD!
Do not take my life as any kind of template for your life!! It aint! We are all different!Thing is you got time. Time is a good thing,the most valuable.

Please take my point to heart: All in all survival trumps ctb. Know that there is good out there. And you,yes you,can have it. If you don't go the party,you can't have no cake! So go to party called life and eat your fill. OK?
And no,I know too much about ctb to ever be a prolifer. Just trying to drop some knowledge on the young.

 

[Blue_mist]

My depression and social anxiety started when I was 19,now I'm 40. Since then my mental health has been deteriorating, literally i don't recall a normal day without this unbearable pain inside my head and i don't see a potential improvement looming in the horizon. The only thing i consider to be a progress is i don't give a fuck anymore about people, my health and what's left of my future and that's why i do not have friends around me , just living in constant gloomy dark hopeless state of mind.

 

[Forever Sleep]

So much is going to depend on your situation. I don't think it's something you can say as a general rule for everyone. Bit like that ridiculous saying that 'school days are the happiest days of our lives'. For me- they were amoung the very worst days of my life to date.

But yeah- it's going to depend on so much. What did that person go on to do? How bad was their childhood? Could they put all that behind them? Were they able to put in enough effort to change their lives around and were they lucky enough that their hard work paid off? Did they enjoy good health? There are just so many variables.

For me personally- yes, my situation now is better than when I was 18, or in my 20's. I'm 43 now but I'm still suicidal! Even though things are relatively better. Personally, I think I was probably happiest in my 30's.

When it comes down to specifics though- I imagine young adults frequently develop ideation from troubles at home. Leaving home can go a great way to starting again but not everyone has the finances or opportunity to do that. I feel like younger people likely have more pathways open to them in terms of work but again- not always.

I think certainly- as I've grown, I've become better at coping with things but that's probably because I care less- which can start to affect motivation to even try. The sad thing is- I've noticed a lot of youngsters here already have that apathy. They don't see a bright future ahead and they don't see why they should even bother. I think that perspective is crippling at any age.

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't get what you mean by "unlimited" and "endlessly". We're here foe a finite amount of time...am I missing something?

I mean that as long as one exists here there is unlimited potential to suffer, like there is just no limit as to how horrible existing can get, existing can always get much worse and this will be endless until one dies. I use the word endlessly as if I don't find a way to leave I could be trapped here for decades and that feels endless to me.