ScorpiusDragon
Mage
- Mar 25, 2019
- 593
Serious question.
Most of my IRL friends were made out of convenience. We went to the same college and lived in the same dorm for 4 years. But most of them distanced themselves after I got hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. When I think about it, I realize I could never really talk to them about the real stuff going on in my life. Even though they said, "I'm here for you," they never really were. It's easy to be "friends" with someone when you are grabbing lunch with that person and casually chatting about your favorite movie; but the question is will that person really be there for you when you are in a difficult situation? For almost all my IRL friends, the answer was no.
I have a few super close online friends I love dearly, but knowing how long online friends tend to last, I get the feeling they'll fade away eventually, whether it's by one of our suicides or if we will just drift apart. Even though I get the feeling that my friendships with my online friends probably won't last, I'd still do anything for them because they were there for me far more often than my IRL friends.
Does anyone else here wonder if friendship is just an illusion? A comforting lie we try to tell ourselves to make us feel a little less alone in this world.
Ultimately, I feel it's those moments of genuine connection that remind me that there is still some beauty in an otherwise ugly world. Just those simple moments of talking to someone you care about and doing little things to make his/her life a little easier. If I could remain frozen in those moments forever, maybe I'd want to live. But those moments don't last, and I'm often left feeling more alone than ever before.
Most of my IRL friends were made out of convenience. We went to the same college and lived in the same dorm for 4 years. But most of them distanced themselves after I got hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. When I think about it, I realize I could never really talk to them about the real stuff going on in my life. Even though they said, "I'm here for you," they never really were. It's easy to be "friends" with someone when you are grabbing lunch with that person and casually chatting about your favorite movie; but the question is will that person really be there for you when you are in a difficult situation? For almost all my IRL friends, the answer was no.
I have a few super close online friends I love dearly, but knowing how long online friends tend to last, I get the feeling they'll fade away eventually, whether it's by one of our suicides or if we will just drift apart. Even though I get the feeling that my friendships with my online friends probably won't last, I'd still do anything for them because they were there for me far more often than my IRL friends.
Does anyone else here wonder if friendship is just an illusion? A comforting lie we try to tell ourselves to make us feel a little less alone in this world.
Ultimately, I feel it's those moments of genuine connection that remind me that there is still some beauty in an otherwise ugly world. Just those simple moments of talking to someone you care about and doing little things to make his/her life a little easier. If I could remain frozen in those moments forever, maybe I'd want to live. But those moments don't last, and I'm often left feeling more alone than ever before.
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