do i want to die..?

[trapdoor]

i've wanted to die my entire life, but when i picture myself going through with it, i have this fantasy that someone finds me and saves me at the last moment. a hotel worker, my brother calling me, a passerby who has a bad feeling. but what then? what happens after i'm saved? i go back to the same shitty life? this feeling wont go away. better to just get it over with.

 

[Blueberry Panic]

I've been saved before , it's rough seeing the expressions of the people who "care" see you dying .
But at a certain point you stop caring, you're in control of your own ending not them . Every attempt as the possibility of not working so try as much as you can to not fail.