Discussion Do I sound like I have some sort of mental illness from what I wrote on here?

[Friends151617]

So...let's start with early childhood. Elementary school. I was always a super awkward and annoying kid. I pissed my pants at school almost everyday. I liked to mimic and imitate others, especially if I found them really cool. This did nothing but piss people off, but I just never took the hint. I was ostracized from my peers. They called me a weirdo.

Then by middle school...I was just super quiet and reserved. Whenever I tried speaking to people in my childhood, I just pushed people away and made them mad. So in middle school I didn't even try. I still did make like four new friends in middle school though. People who approached me, without me having to approach them first.

Then in high school...same as middle school, but by 12th grade I was a lot more talkative, and made a bunch of new friends. It was at the VERY end, but it was worth it.

Something that's also worthy of note...in 7th grade, when I was 13, I got depressed. Then, by 11th grade, when I was 17, I was super suicidal. Then, by 12th grade, when I was 18, I had tried to kill myself several times, and I told my therapist about it. I was taken to a mental hospital. And I...fit right in there. I was the youngest one there, along with one other 18 year old boy. I didn't find the people there "crazy" at all though with a few exceptions. They seemed like normal people...just broken, like me.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I don't know the answer, but I wonder if you visited a supported mental health housing facility if that would feel like a good fit as well. If so, fuck it, does the diagnosis matter so much if you could be in an environment where you felt like you fit?

 

[noaccount]

Well, what would it mean to you to call a state-of-mind an "illness"?

 

[BPD Barbie]

Having a diagnosis isn't everything. The best person to diagnose you with something if you really wanted to find out would be your doctor. We can give speculations of what we think, but we are not gonna say you definitively have X condition.

 

[noaccount]

The doctor can't tell you definitively either since those labels are very subjective, not tied to any definitive bio/physical cause, and often applied to people whose experiences have little or nothing in common.

Your mental suffering is worth taking seriously, and trying to alleviate. Your needs are important even if they're different from other people's needs. Finding other people who've been through similar things, who process things similarly, can be life changing.

Occasionally people find that a doctor can help them with this. I never found that myself.

 

[sufferingalways]

The doctor can't tell you definitively either since those labels are very subjective, not tied to any definitive bio/physical cause, and often applied to people whose experiences have little or nothing in common.

Your mental suffering is worth taking seriously, and trying to alleviate. Your needs are important even if they're different from other people's needs. Finding other people who've been through similar things, who process things similarly, can be life changing.

Occasionally people find that a doctor can help them with this. I never found that myself.

Hello there, your words are very profound and ring true for me. I'm glad i saw this topic.

To the original poster, I also spent time at a mental health clinic, some years ago and during my time there I found people who "got it" regarding being bullied by outsiders who think that everyone should be the same. I got involved with a weiters group at the clinic's in house magazine and it was helpful as you say, to be among others similar.


As an off topic suggestion, if you haven't seen a film called Crazy People, starring the brilliance of Dudley Moore, try to get hold of it, even if just on the web / you tube.
It picks up on some sensitive yet unexplored (by "psych drs" ) issues and explores them in ways which I found just .. wow. Maybe the writers had some experience like this too.
It's also very funny so hopefully if you do see it, it might give some light relief in dark and painful times.


Thank you for posting about your experiences and I am sorry to hear about your hardships. It's okay to not be okay.

 

[mathieu]

We can't diagnose you. You need to see a psychologist or psychiatrist. It sounds like you've been in therapy and been treated at a psych hospital, did you receive any diagnoses there?