heirofvoid
Member
- Dec 20, 2021
- 71
I was reading an article about mitski and she said on her 30th bday she was glad to be out of her 20s. I've seen the same thing from a lot of people especially when I lurk on reddit. Almost everyone said that their 20s were just the worst time of their lives. That it's mostly just being lost.
I just turned 22 last December and I agree that's it shit. Do I really have to wait until I'm 30 when I already can't stand being alive now? Doing whatever the fuck is this for another 8 years? Waking up every single morning TO THIS FOR 8 MORE YEARS? I already feel so drained and 2022 hasn't even been a month yet. I feel so dead inside. I'm so scared every single day.
I really don't think that it'll get better for me. I only finished one year of college and dropped without my family knowing. It's been 5 years since then. I've lied for 5 years and the guilt is eating me up each day. I don't know if I can still lie. I don't want to live the rest of my life lying but I also don't want them to know because they didn't take it well when I skipped a semester.
"You can still get a job" I got diagnosed with social anxiety last year and jobs here require at least 2 yrs of college. I don't really have any skills to show for and I can barely say anything besides from "yes" or "no".
I just don't think I'll make it to 30 like this but I'm also so afraid of CBT. I am stuck and I feel like this is hell. I feel like I'll have a stronger urgency to do it when my family finds out but I don't even have a method or a location.
I'll just go to sleep again praying that I die tomorrow.
I just turned 22 last December and I agree that's it shit. Do I really have to wait until I'm 30 when I already can't stand being alive now? Doing whatever the fuck is this for another 8 years? Waking up every single morning TO THIS FOR 8 MORE YEARS? I already feel so drained and 2022 hasn't even been a month yet. I feel so dead inside. I'm so scared every single day.
I really don't think that it'll get better for me. I only finished one year of college and dropped without my family knowing. It's been 5 years since then. I've lied for 5 years and the guilt is eating me up each day. I don't know if I can still lie. I don't want to live the rest of my life lying but I also don't want them to know because they didn't take it well when I skipped a semester.
"You can still get a job" I got diagnosed with social anxiety last year and jobs here require at least 2 yrs of college. I don't really have any skills to show for and I can barely say anything besides from "yes" or "no".
I just don't think I'll make it to 30 like this but I'm also so afraid of CBT. I am stuck and I feel like this is hell. I feel like I'll have a stronger urgency to do it when my family finds out but I don't even have a method or a location.
I'll just go to sleep again praying that I die tomorrow.