Help do i feel too deeply?

[kindawannacrylol]

I am extremely suicidal and i've never really had stable emotions but i'm starting think that i'm becoming extremely sensitive to things abd i feel my emotions more sharply and intensely then other people. Now this could just be me making things up in my head or it could be real i'm not sure. My parents are very very abusive, when i go back home to visit them, they often hurl their verbal abuse at me, the last time it happened, I fell into a state of shock and stared into the wall trying to block out everything they were saying, i immediately felt extremely suicidal, and went back into ny room to formulate a plan, method, date and time for my next attempt. Since it was my birthday, later that day I went out for drinks with some friends, I don't often feel happy so that was a lot for me, i felt so good and so blissful i forgot i was even depressed in the first place, i started visualising my next birthday and my goals for this year and everything i wanted to get done. Once i got home my mood sank back and i spent my night uncontrollably crying. Are my emotions more intense than a regularly suicidal person?

 

[Crazy4u]

Your feelings are valid. It is ok to be sensitive or emotional at your age. It can only get better if you move to your own place.

There are no regular suicidal people. Some are numb and some are intense. I was intense and became numb

 

[CiproKilledMe]

I actually just watched a documentary on Tubi called Sensitive: The Movie. In it they claim that 20% of humans are HSP or "highly sensitive people" and that there are evolutionary advantages for being this way. Maybe give that a watch. Of course there are other possible explanations for having extreme emotions as well, like Borderline Personality Disorder. You do mention suffering abuse from your parents (a supposed cause of BPD). Have you ever looked into that? It could also explain your impulsivity towards ctb. Just some things to look into if you haven't already.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

I actually just watched a documentary on Tubi called Sensitive: The Movie. In it they claim that 20% of humans are HSP or "highly sensitive people" and that there are evolutionary advantages for being this way. Maybe give that a watch. Of course there are other possible explanations for having extreme emotions as well, like Borderline Personality Disorder. You do mention suffering abuse from your parents (a supposed cause of BPD). Have you ever looked into that? It could also explain your impulsivity towards ctb. Just some things to look into if you haven't already.

Consider that being highly sensitive and having BPD are not two different things but one and the same. If you take someone who is highly sensitive and a decent person and traumatize the hell out of them, you might end up with someone with BPD.