Venting Do birthdays make anyone else feel like shit?

[Yelkovan]

Birthdays make me feel like shit. It's the worst day of the year for me, I can't help but be reminded of all of my problems in an amplified, shameful way. All this day signifies is that I somehow got to x years old without making any friends, I've been depressed for x number of years, lost any potential I ever could've had and noticeably gotten worse each year. It also makes me realize how unimportant I am and how other people on this day go out with other people, get presents, or have positive memories of past birthdays. All I've done for years is wake up and sit in bed all day wanting to die and then go back to sleep. Doesn't matter if it's Christmas, my birthday, or the end of the world, I'd still be sitting around like a pathetic loser. That's all this day tells me.

 

[Scribble Fan]

Oh my god, they're pure torture. This inexorable emptiness just swallows me up from the inside out until I can't take the suffocation anymore, I know exactly what you mean. For me they feel particularly false as well because I celebrate them with my "family". We were never a real family though, too much toxic behavior going around. They just tantalize me with what I never had while I pretend to want to be there.

 

[SinisterKid]

They just signify a number and mean zip to me. Others celebrate them, me, its just another day in the life of.

 

[Sunset764]

Birthdays seem so pointless, they are just a normal day for me.

 

[DoomedxFromBirth]

The whole month of my birthday I want to sleep. I hate it so much. Its just how its been for a lot of years. Even with someone in my life that makes it special, if Im not with them the whole day of my birthday I want to jump off a cliff. Not to even do anything I just dont want to be alone. It hasnt been the same since I was a kid before all the bullshit.

 

[Lush_nova]

Birthdays seem so pointless, they are just a normal day for me.

same here. when growing up and family forget it becomes just another boring pointless day

 

[Menschenfeind]

It's like "wow, you survived in a first world country without dying: great work". The annual attention you receive that day could be spread throughout the year. It feels hypocritical when others care one day a year about you. For me it's an additional reminder that I'm still here, which bothers me.

 

[LifeIsNotFun]

I've always had shitty birthdays, and I can relate OP. I don't look forward to my birthday's either.

 

[AtomicNewt]

You've nailed it. It amplifies how alone and pointless your life is, doesn't it. Can be like torture, reminding you of all your failures, compounded by the fact it's supposed to be a happy and social day.

 

[Dartz]

One year more, one year more I shouldn't have been alive

 

[mathieu]

Absolutely. I dread my birthday all year for the same reasons as you describe.

 

[Final Escape]

I'm reminded of everything I failed at and that I'm just getting older and opportunities just shrink more and more.

 

[andy69]

I don't want another birthday. I am suppose to turn fifty this year. I want to make sure that doesn't happen. My partner said he was going to take me to Italy for my birthday. Something I wanted to do for a long time. Then he broke up with me two months ago when he met someone else. I don't want to face a future of loneliness and betrayal.

 

[WinterIsComing]

I used to like them...but thinking back the years..how my fear was strong.. My repentance is poison.

 

[blanketyblk]

I'm reminded of everything I failed at and that I'm just getting older and opportunities just shrink more and more.

This is soo true!!

I'm dreading my birthday this year. my mum passed away on my birthday and it will be the first birthday without her. if there would ever be a day i would CBT it would be then. I'm going to either go out and get drunk in a bar. on drown my sorrows at home. either way I'm so so not looking forward to it

Never celebrated last years birthday. was just hospitals and funeral home and started writing the eulogy.

so yeah. i hate my birthday now.

 

[Superfluous]

Like some others here, I don't do birthdays. Nor any other celebratory days for that matter. Christmas is the worst time for me as I'm constantly reminded of it for 2 months+. New Year I can just stay at home.

 

[Skathon]

My birth itself and any of its aspects are actually my only irrational, hm... "trigger"? Every time I either add new scars or reopen all of the recent ones.
I also never mention the cursed date.

 

[Bulletwbttrflywings]

Yes. Especially when other people who should know, forget. Just like my existence.

 

[TimeToDie]

Birthdays are a celebration of the day we should not have been born. I might like b-days if I had friends to celebrate it with, but due to social phobia I don't have friends.

Birthdays are a celebration of the day we should not have been born. I might like b-days if I had friends to celebrate it with, but due to social phobia I don't have friends. Don't have family either.

 

[Suicidal4Ever]

Stopped caring about birthdays after i turned 18. Its just another day

 

[Donewith_]

yeah, it was my b'day before a few days. I felt very guilty that day, idk.. it was not like every other day. I am a emotional wreck .. I am thankful i did not break down that day because of the things happening around me.

 

[Rex2019]

Birthdays make me feel like shit. It's the worst day of the year for me, I can't help but be reminded of all of my problems in an amplified, shameful way. All this day signifies is that I somehow got to x years old without making any friends, I've been depressed for x number of years, lost any potential I ever could've had and noticeably gotten worse each year. It also makes me realize how unimportant I am and how other people on this day go out with other people, get presents, or have positive memories of past birthdays. All I've done for years is wake up and sit in bed all day wanting to die and then go back to sleep. Doesn't matter if it's Christmas, my birthday, or the end of the world, I'd still be sitting around like a pathetic loser. That's all this day tells me.

yup

 

[netrezven]

I don't like my birthdays since years. At first i got no money or time to afford to celebrate them, then when i had money i started to hate them. Really these days remind me for something pathetic i was long time ago, and still can't get over it. The only fix is to betray the only one i used to believe in and start over.

 

[First loss]

Yes man. My birthday is close and I hate it. I will probably have to pretend to be happy and my parents will bombard me with questions about what I want for a gift. I do not want anything, lad. I want to die in fucking peace.

I despise the day I was born.

 

[Mort]

I have not celebrated my birthday for a long time larst time did i turn 16 i am now 45 :{ . They just remind me of how much of a failure i am .

 

[ExitTheDay]

I only like my "birthday" because it's an excuse for me to eat a shit ton of cake, other than that it's just another day and a reminder that I was born into this world unwillingly

 

[Midnight]

The first 2 decades of depression they where really shit. Nowadays i'm caring less and less about that particular day. Because they are all equally worse now.

 

[Pistolero114]

Hell yes. Last one was a milestone. And the worst.

 

[Mr2005]

It's mine right now

 

[kkatt]

I think I'm far too old to celebrate birthdays.
The only concession I make is a phone call to my mom. Afterall, she did do all the heavy lifting.