Discussion Do any other autistic people have to resort to prejudice for survival?

[nattys5thtoenail]

Is it bad that I judge people on their appearance to determine how they'll treat me? Like depending on how someone does their makeup or dresses I can determine whether I'm safe enough to unmask around them?

 

[derpyderpins]

Well, I think we all judge others at least a bit. Autistic people might do it moreso. Back when I was sure I was INTJ (or still am @Alexei_Kirillov ) I considered judging people to be a very necessary part of life.

You're basically looking at the underlying code for how most neurotypicals get "vibe" or similar. You're also possibly right in a lot of assumptions. Someone who appears disheveled, for example, likely has lower standards for tidiness in other areas of life.

The key is that you allow for correction. That disheveled person could just be having a bad day which led to them being careless. If you are too rigid in sticking to the initial assumption, you could miss out on good opportunities.

As for masking specifically, that's a very hard question. I've been asking myself if I can even tell when the mask comes off. Mask well enough for long enough and the mask becomes more of a fixture, I guess.

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

To an extent I do this too -- within minutes to days of meeting someone, I've already sized them up and come to a decision about whether I'll "vibe" with them or not. I don't think it's based on appearance though; I couldn't tell you exactly what tips me off, it's just a gut feeling, though I'm sure appearance plays a role.

Regardless, I wouldn't consider it prejudice--which by definition happens before you interact with someone (hence the 'pre')--so much as discrimination, which in this context of discernment needn't be a negative thing; it is in fact an essential part of survival, and as @derpyderpins mentions, is something everyone does.

I would echo his sentiments that it only becomes "wrong" when you're too rigid in your initial conclusions and don't allow for human messiness; when "my instinct is that I can't unmask around this person" becomes "I will never be able to unmask around this person."