I think I'm in shock. My marriage of almost 10 years seems to be crumbling right before my very eyes. Long story short is that my spouse is probably a narcissist. I ignored the signs, I forgave easily, and I gave myself completely over to a person that doesn't need me at all. We all need to be needed. My love and devotion feel like they were wasted. I'm distraught. I just want to have a normal heartfelt conversation with someone. I need to know there's normal human beings out there with a heart as big as mine. I need to share a song, a feeling, a memory, something deep with someone right now. I'm not looking for anything romantic or anything like that I'm still devoted to my spouse. I just need a platonic shared feeling with someone right now so that I know I'm not going crazy.
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Echo81
Member
- Feb 5, 2021
- 85
I took my roommates dog on a
walk today and she was prancing like a pony and high stepping when I put a pink and purple checked neckscarf on her and the neighborhood kids playing in the tree lines streets innocently on their bikes and scooters admired her prettiness while the birds chirped in the late afternoon, in between rainstorm dusk while I listened to MGMT pandora station at a nice ponytail bouncing speed.
walk today and she was prancing like a pony and high stepping when I put a pink and purple checked neckscarf on her and the neighborhood kids playing in the tree lines streets innocently on their bikes and scooters admired her prettiness while the birds chirped in the late afternoon, in between rainstorm dusk while I listened to MGMT pandora station at a nice ponytail bouncing speed.
How nice of you to take your roommate's dog for a walk. It sounds like she was happy. What a beautiful image you've described. It sounds idyllic yet cathartic at the same time.
I can't stop crying. The person I'm sharing my life with is killing me with their apathy. The colors of my feelings are being drained by a sinister monochromatic void.
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Echo81
Member
- Feb 5, 2021
- 85
The dog hadn't been on a walk in 3 months before I moved in. I am a cat person. Uh a crazy cat lady to be exact.
Because we are trying to cheer you up today, I won't tell you why I now have a roommate and now do not have my cats.
Do you have any pets?
Because we are trying to cheer you up today, I won't tell you why I now have a roommate and now do not have my cats.
Do you have any pets?
Here's the song that makes me cry (I know I'm being selfish and just talking about my needs and wants right now. I'm so sorry, I just need this space or else I'm going to lose my mind):
Echo81
Member
- Feb 5, 2021
- 85
Taking the dog on walks is probably the only good thing in my life right now plus my mom.
No, I have no pets... I would love an animal to take care of but at this point It would be irresponsible of me to have one right now.
I'm so sorry
I hope your mom is amazing to you
Echo81
Member
- Feb 5, 2021
- 85
Why are you sorry? Don't be sorry. This is a place to say things. A place to vent. A place to be heard. That's not seflish.
Here's another song that helps reconcile some of my sadness. It makes me think of my dad who passed away 5 years ago... I love you so much dad... You'll always be batman to me... Again I apologize for over-sharing. I just need to let myself feel what I need to feel.
Again I apologize for over-sharing. I just need to let myself feel what I need to feel.
Echo81
Member
- Feb 5, 2021
- 85
Ah yes these songs can get in the head...
I love this song
Here's another song that helps reconcile some of my sadness. It makes me think of my dad who passed away 5 years ago... I love you so much dad... You'll always be batman to me...
I love this song
I love the Smashing Pumpkins... In the song that I posted, some of the lyrics say, "The years burn... The years burn, burn, burn" But I hear, "Oohoh it burns, oohoh it burns, burns, burns..." Which is why I love Billy Corgan's song writing so much. So many words can sound like others which makes the emotional payoff that much more fulling.
I won't be on much longer today but I suspect will be back in the coming days. Thank you so much Echo for answering this post and taking the time out of your night to entertain a sad broken soul.
I won't be on much longer today but I suspect will be back in the coming days. Thank you so much Echo for answering this post and taking the time out of your night to entertain a sad broken soul.
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Echo81
Member
- Feb 5, 2021
- 85
You are welcome. I hope you can find a smile somewhere in your night:)
WaterHemlock
Student
- Dec 18, 2019
- 112
I'm so sorry you're in pain. My marriage of more that 30 years crumbled irretrievablly. I gave up so much of myself to keep the marriage and in the end lost both myself and it.
In this time after, I've found some resources for recovery from being exposed to narcissists. Codependents Anonymous meetings are available online with zoom or other platforms, or even just with a phonecall, and I've found them helpful. There's absolutely no need to do anything but listen but connecting to others with similar stories can be helpful.
It might be something for you. I've found comfort from it.
I wish you the best of luck
In this time after, I've found some resources for recovery from being exposed to narcissists. Codependents Anonymous meetings are available online with zoom or other platforms, or even just with a phonecall, and I've found them helpful. There's absolutely no need to do anything but listen but connecting to others with similar stories can be helpful.
It might be something for you. I've found comfort from it.
I wish you the best of luck
I hope you are okay Seraph I see your name is crossed out :( if you happen to see this we are thinking of you and would be glad if you ever threw a line
Sherri
Archangel
- Sep 28, 2020
- 13,794
Somber
Arcanist
- Jan 6, 2022
- 457
Sherri
Archangel
- Sep 28, 2020
- 13,794
Somber
Arcanist
- Jan 6, 2022
- 457
I thought those members had died but then again how could the mods confirm this. Your explanation makes more sense.
Sherri
Archangel
- Sep 28, 2020
- 13,794
When I joined and there was a real goodbye thread, then the name would be crossed if the member asked on the thread.I thought those members had died but then again how could the mods confirm this. Your explanation makes more sense.
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