dissociation? just depression? can barely function

[immrw]

haven't eaten or drunk in over 24 hours, but my stomach hasn't growled once. i'm nonverbal and can't say out loud the words of how i'm actually feeling.

i didn't know surgery would be this hard and i've just given up. i don't wanna try anymore. no one really gets this, these moods i get in where i shut down and mentally leave my body. stay in bed all day. at least now the isolation feels comforting and not cold.

my mom knows i'm not eating and sees this. she's just ignoring it. i guess maybe since i'm a grown up it's on me to fix this. just wish she could at least hug me or something.