NickStanfield
Member
- Nov 12, 2019
- 46
Ok, admittedly I've got some weird thoughts at times, so if this is just out of left field, pass it on by. But I've been pondering the reason why so many don't succeed at their first (or second or third) attempt to CTB. Survival instinct (SI) absolutely plays into it, but it's also a damned difficult thing to do.
Think for a minute about trying to plan a perfect murder, one that would be effective and that you could get away with. Timing, opportunity, mechanism, location... All would need to be almost perfect if you were to actually commit the crime AND get away with it. You might give yourself away ahead of time by things you say to others, or you might fail due to poor planning or lack of commitment to carry through.
Now, add to that your own internal knowledge of your plot against yourself. Or your non-neurotypical brain. Or your medical or psychological condition. Or your home or financial circumstances.
My point is simply this: carry through with suicide - killing yourself - is a damned hard thing to do, so give yourself a break if it doesn't work for you when you first try. Be good to yourself. If it's inevitable, then it'll come to pass but cut yourself a break. Things are hard enough already.
Think for a minute about trying to plan a perfect murder, one that would be effective and that you could get away with. Timing, opportunity, mechanism, location... All would need to be almost perfect if you were to actually commit the crime AND get away with it. You might give yourself away ahead of time by things you say to others, or you might fail due to poor planning or lack of commitment to carry through.
Now, add to that your own internal knowledge of your plot against yourself. Or your non-neurotypical brain. Or your medical or psychological condition. Or your home or financial circumstances.
My point is simply this: carry through with suicide - killing yourself - is a damned hard thing to do, so give yourself a break if it doesn't work for you when you first try. Be good to yourself. If it's inevitable, then it'll come to pass but cut yourself a break. Things are hard enough already.
