Let me preface this with I love my kids, I would and do sacrifice everything for them. I don't hit them, I don't call them bad names, I don't ever say they worthless, bad, or unwanted. I do yell at them, but that's usually just so they can hear me over themselves. I've had a really bad morning with them and just need to bitch about it since there's nothing else I can do, and I can't get away from them to cool off.
The 2 and 6 year old are autistic, and the 8 year old is ADHD. My 6 year old is going through a mean phase and is being horrible all the time. She has 12 plus tantrums a day, and will do so for being asked to do the smallest things. My eldest will tantrum if he strongly doesn't want to do something. The two of them will bicker over the silliest things, and when they do their argument is more important than anything I say or feel.
Once they start tantrums nothing will stop them. None of the usual recommended tactics work. All I can do is have them be in their room so they can't optimize negative attention. Even when asked to go to their own space and use calm down techniques they will just sit there and scream and yell as loud as possible for anywhere from 20 min to hours. Removal of ipads or tv results in them feeling like they lost their stuff anyway so might as well go full force since what else is there to loose or happen. They won't even try to earn stuff back they'll just keep the stress flowing. I always give chances for redemption, but not till they put effort into defusing the tantrum.
I have no social support. Their dad works 80+ hours a week, and even when he is here he doesn't know how the house works and his intervention makes things harder. I can't go anyway since I can't leave them alone, and where is there to go anyway. I can't leave the room to cool off since the 6 year old will use that opportunity to pick a fight with her brother. I just want to get stoned, but I can't be wasted all the time since what's the point of me being here and their mom if I am. I try so fucking hard every day to keep going and to be the best mom I can, but they are such hard kids. There is never an easy day.
I don't know what the point of this is. Nothing will help they just need to grow out of this shit.
The 2 and 6 year old are autistic, and the 8 year old is ADHD. My 6 year old is going through a mean phase and is being horrible all the time. She has 12 plus tantrums a day, and will do so for being asked to do the smallest things. My eldest will tantrum if he strongly doesn't want to do something. The two of them will bicker over the silliest things, and when they do their argument is more important than anything I say or feel.
Once they start tantrums nothing will stop them. None of the usual recommended tactics work. All I can do is have them be in their room so they can't optimize negative attention. Even when asked to go to their own space and use calm down techniques they will just sit there and scream and yell as loud as possible for anywhere from 20 min to hours. Removal of ipads or tv results in them feeling like they lost their stuff anyway so might as well go full force since what else is there to loose or happen. They won't even try to earn stuff back they'll just keep the stress flowing. I always give chances for redemption, but not till they put effort into defusing the tantrum.
I have no social support. Their dad works 80+ hours a week, and even when he is here he doesn't know how the house works and his intervention makes things harder. I can't go anyway since I can't leave them alone, and where is there to go anyway. I can't leave the room to cool off since the 6 year old will use that opportunity to pick a fight with her brother. I just want to get stoned, but I can't be wasted all the time since what's the point of me being here and their mom if I am. I try so fucking hard every day to keep going and to be the best mom I can, but they are such hard kids. There is never an easy day.
I don't know what the point of this is. Nothing will help they just need to grow out of this shit.
