Venting Did you ever just feel this close to being happy

[Rn110bg101]

So stupid how it came at the expense of the only person I loved, the only person that cared about me. Now I lost both of them and I'll never get either of them back.

But at the same time I did deserve it. I was a fucking moron for the entirety of us being friends. The moments of us being happy were too little compared to how much I hurt them, almost daily.

Tips for those who want friends: don't talk about your problems, or maybe just talk about superficial ones so they don't ask questions. Never be honest about anything, especially not depression.

Especially not suicide.

 

[crybaby]

I feel you

 

[mx5nb3]

Yep.. "normal" people will be supportive and nice but as soon as you want to discuss some real, raw shit, especially depression and suicide.. they arent there for you. In my experience, opening up and being honest has only led to people thinking im crazy or me feeling humiliated because they dont understand my pain and decide to leave me on read with no explanantion. Never had a real friend that i could be 100% with, so I cut all ties, burned all bridges and im leaving pretty soon.

 

[Bct]

Yeah, it's really hard to find a friend who wants to hear about your deepest suffering. Most people are just want to befriend always positive people, in hope their life will get better because of their surrounding.

 

[Theresa Riot]

Sometimes I think I might actually be content, but it's tainted by the knowledge that the pit is always waiting for me.

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

I was happy before. Then my happiness got crushed away, and cremated. Only time ill be happy is when i get to be with him again. Unfortunately i have to ctb for that, but that bus is avoiding me.

 

[Iamamistake]

So stupid how it came at the expense of the only person I loved, the only person that cared about me. Now I lost both of them and I'll never get either of them back.

But at the same time I did deserve it. I was a fucking moron for the entirety of us being friends. The moments of us being happy were too little compared to how much I hurt them, almost daily.

Tips for those who want friends: don't talk about your problems, or maybe just talk about superficial ones so they don't ask questions. Never be honest about anything, especially not depression.

Especially not suicide.

Ikr, I also recently lost a friend close to me. This may sound a lil conceited~ talking about myself instead of comforting~ as much as she was a good listener, I never talked about family problems and suicidal thoughts cuz it sounded like backbiting and I feared getting pitied, though I was quite open about bullying I faced. This year we were both meant to start in different colleges if it weren't for lockdown and all, but things happened and I started feeling depressed~ spending my time either crying or staring at wall thinking how I messed up everything, and all the while she tried to reach me I was being too numb, too unaware of time to even talk and she couldn't understand why. That's why a part of me wonders~ what if I were honest about my dysfunctional family instead of pretending that I've a super normal family, would it have been any better?

It's so shitty that being honest is what costed your friendship. No way to know which way would lead to which consequences is simply terrible. It's messed up and idk what to say to make things sound better! T.T

 

[FriendofDeath]

When my son was with me, I was more content, and even struggling, it was better with him here. Now it's like I'm diseased. There are a few people who will spend time with me and let me talk, but the virus has shut most of that down. My mother still listens and I actually have a great therapist.

Something sort of weird - I've thought about being like Lucy in Charlie Brown cartoon, setting up a desk and having people come talk.

 

[Someday_Somehow32]

There have been so many chances to be happy that just keep getting taken from me