Discussion Did anyone ever have the thought of "going out a hero"?

[charaunderground]

I think I've had this thought because, by the time I was an older student but still in school, awareness and worry regarding shootings was starting to peak. I'm early/mid 20s for context. I have distinct memories of having several meetings at school of learning how to improvise things like tourniquet or how to stop bleeding in case someone shot up our school. A lot of times, it was implied in these meetings that the kid who tackled / interrupted the shooter was basically a hero / martyr figure for potentially saving lives.

Obviously, these thoughts are pretty childish and don't make a ton of sense. It'll also probably never happen. But I still have these occasional thoughts of doing xyz in a Bad Situation to sort of indirectly cause my own death without seemingly like I intended to cause my own death. Like, it's objectively seen as better to say "xyz died a hero doing x" than "xyz killed themself" after all.

I think there was an "A Softer World" strip about a similar subject, so I don't think this is a me-only experience or thought?

 

[Trismegistus_13]

I feel like most guys have had those types of fantasies at some point in their lives I know I have. It can be fun to fantasize about saving lives while sacrificing your own, and I don't think that's a fantasy limited to suicidal people. I've seen a lot of memes about this on TikTok.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes, I've had this fantasy also. Not so much a school shooting. We have fewer of those in the UK- we have fewer guns- probably why... But yes, when (usually) terrorist or random attacks are reported on, I wonder what I would do if I were there. I hope I'd tried to stop them. Not sure I'd have the guts though. I'd probably freeze. There are quite a lot of knife attacks in the UK. It must be so painful to be stabbed.

Weirder/ worse than that though- I wonder if I'd be so angry as to kill them- if I could...Maybe. The last knife attack I recall here was on children. I think that would either make me freeze or, see red.

But yeah, all sorts of ridiculous thoughts really. There was a stabbing on London Bridge once. I had this dumb fantasy of pulling them over the barrier and we both fell in the Thames. Like that scene in the second Sherlock Holmes film. I doubt that's even possible though.

Actually anyway, how good is it to feel so angry you could retaliate and be willing to kill? Maybe I wouldn't go that far. I wouldn't have the strength to most likely. Maybe I'd have the will to though. That can't really be good though. That's how wars just keep perpetuating. Presumably- if it's a terrorist attack, theirs was also intended as a revenge killing. Where does it end? Not saying you were refering to actually killing them. Presumably, just saving others lives with your own?

But yeah, other stupid fantasies too. Like- watching the documentary on Chernobyl and the incredible risk and sacrifice the 'liquidators' put themselves through to clean up the mess. (Although not all by choice I suspect.) I used to think- it would be so much better if my death could mean something. If it could save others. Maybe I'd agree to do something dangerous/ potentially lethal- so long as they gave me a reliable method to end things for myself at the end.

 

[charaunderground]

Ended up finding the ASW strip in question. Image below.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

No, not really. I don't have any desire to die whilst prolonging somebody else's life. I don't even see at how that's heroic as that person is going to die eventually regardless anyway. You can't save a life but rather merely prolong it. Other people may attribute that as being heroic but I certainly don't

 

[acidreflux]

I'd fantasise about that more as making reckless, dangerous decisions and hoping to die in the process rather than actually caring to save anyone. Especially if it's an attack, it's way easier for somebody to kill you since there's no SI involved there.

 

[SVEN]

I more dream of just plain "going out."

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I figure killing me is already the most heroic thing I can manage to do anyway since it will rid the world of one less evil pathetic incel.

 

[NoPoint2Life]

I think I've had this thought because, by the time I was an older student but still in school, awareness and worry regarding shootings was starting to peak. I'm early/mid 20s for context. I have distinct memories of having several meetings at school of learning how to improvise things like tourniquet or how to stop bleeding in case someone shot up our school. A lot of times, it was implied in these meetings that the kid who tackled / interrupted the shooter was basically a hero / martyr figure for potentially saving lives.

Obviously, these thoughts are pretty childish and don't make a ton of sense. It'll also probably never happen. But I still have these occasional thoughts of doing xyz in a Bad Situation to sort of indirectly cause my own death without seemingly like I intended to cause my own death. Like, it's objectively seen as better to say "xyz died a hero doing x" than "xyz killed themself" after all.

I think there was an "A Softer World" strip about a similar subject, so I don't think this is a me-only experience or thought?

I totally relate. Due to my ideation I've always wondered how I would handle something like that. I think I would panic and my SI would kick in, but it would be so great if I could save another life and lose mine at the same time.
And I had no idea they got that specific about improvising with injuries. That's sad.

 

[Forveleth]

Yeah, I've had the same I guess. Like, if I can help someone live in exchange for dying then cool. I don't have to worry about faffing with my hanging setup or being found. Everyone will think I made this great sacrifice for good when really I was just super excited to die. Saving someone else in the process is just a bonus.

 

[brokenbirdy]

i'd want my death to help things. i dont think i would care what that looks like, so long as it does something good

 

[over2025]

If euthanasia was acceptable, I would go out in a hospital and let them take all my organs

 

[ScaredOfMachines]

I want to go out as a hero, but only for selfish reasons. It would be nice to go out in a way that makes someone remember me, and think of me as more than society's parasite.

 

[Dusk till dawn]

I don't care about dying a hero but, when things get very intense for me and SI becomes weak and i'm about to do a serious suicide attempt i always regret being unable to donate my organs or do anything that can improve someone's else life even since i'm about to die, if i had the option i would donate all my organs and my body for scientific research purposes once i'm deceased but i don't think that's possible where i live

 

[RiverOfLife]

Every time we get the active shooter briefing at work.
It would be a win-win situation. I don't have to go through the planning of a ctb attempt or worry about the consequences of failing and I would get to help other people.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

I would be Bruce Wilis in Armageddon without hesitation.