Help Destroying someone’s life

[Amz_Falls]

If your suicide would destroy the life of a loved one would that prevent you from doing it?
Only asking because my partner has said to me that if I had succeeded in what I'd done he would of been a broken and lonely as fuck man for the rest of his life.
I know he truly meant it rather than as a guilt trip too.

 

[Rachel74]

If your suicide would destroy the life of a loved one would that prevent you from doing it?
Only asking because my partner has said to me that if I had succeeded in what I'd done he would of been a broken and lonely as fuck man for the rest of his life.
I know he truly meant it rather than as a guilt trip too.

Yes I'm the same, it would destroy my partner life and no doubt if the dogs were not here he'd join me which really is sad as he loves his life but hates his job as a teacher.

 

[woxihuanni]

For what it is worth, it is an impossible question to put in my case. In such a strong mate-bond where they will be broken for losing me (assuming I feel the same for them), I would not want to die. Why should I? Unless we lack shelter or food, or live in a community we don't belong. But those things would be solvable together. The only exceptional case I can think of is having ALS, etc., but then I would be dying anyway, give or take a few months so they would be broken whatever I did.

Though I have sympathy, I don't truly understand what it is like not wanting to live despite having those things.

 

[Nem]

My ex fiancé demanded I keep taking dangerous meds and then I nearly died. A year and a half later after sleeping only two hours a night I made a plan to die, my fiancé broke up with me the next day. I am not kidding
Peace/hugs

 

[Squiddy]

My family is what's preventing me from ending it

 

[Elias]

No it would not stop me. I have enough faith in normal human beings resiliance to imagine people will quickly move on. I also feel like if I stop myself from finding eternal peace just for someone else, this will put too much pressure on both myself and them. Should someone be destroyed by my sudden departure, their life would have already been on the edge and I can't be held accountable for the last push that will leave them in shambles. Though I do think about the pain most of my loved ones will feel at that moment, and I'm not naive enough to think that my decision will not have any effect around me. But it has to be done, I have already made up my mind and the perspective of spending many more years roaming this earth is absolutely not an option.

 

[Amz_Falls]

I'm sorry you are all facing the same thing.
I have everything in life - we very much love each other, both have good jobs and own our own home yet I still want to CTB. I'm in so much mental pain and now physical pain from my last attempt. I feel at some point I'm going to end up CTBing so why delay it. Is it possible to live your life for someone else?

 

[woxihuanni]

I'm sorry you are all facing the same thing.
I have everything in life - we very much love each other, both have good jobs and own our own home yet I still want to CTB. I'm in so much mental pain and now physical pain from my last attempt. I feel at some point I'm going to end up CTBing so why delay it. Is it possible to live your life for someone else?

Of course not, but maybe it is possible to come to a place where you can be content in yourself. I don't mean heal in the sense of psychology, fuck them. Just sort of see yourself clear and accept it, not because you fit the script, but because you just are. Though with your physical injuries, I am in no place to even pretend to understand your pain. Wish the best for you, whatever comes next.

 

[SinisterKid]

Is dying of natural causes any more or less devastating than dying by your own hand to those that are left behind? That is a debate I am having with myself right now. I have seen first hand how the other grandma dying last year affected our little one. Can I do that to her again by taking my own life?

 

[GreyMonkey]

I'm sorry you are all facing the same thing.
I have everything in life - we very much love each other, both have good jobs and own our own home yet I still want to CTB. I'm in so much mental pain and now physical pain from my last attempt. I feel at some point I'm going to end up CTBing so why delay it. Is it possible to live your life for someone else?

What has you in so much pain?

For me... I know that it would destroy my mum. That's a big reason to hesitate, although it's getting smaller.

I don't really want to die, I'm just in so much pain and it's been going on too damn long and I'm empty. I want what you have - a job, a home and a partner. Yet all of them feel so damn fucking impossible now.

 

[Amz_Falls]

Is dying of natural causes any more or less devastating than dying by your own hand to those that are left behind? That is a debate I am having with myself right now. I have seen first hand how the other grandma dying last year affected our little one. Can I do that to her again by taking my own life?

I believe it is less devastating. People believe suicide is a choice so they have chosen to cause that pain - in reality it's much more complicated than that but that is the majority of society's belief. That's just my opinion though.

What has you in so much pain?

For me... I know that it would destroy my mum. That's a big reason to hesitate, although it's getting smaller.

I don't really want to die, I'm just in so much pain and it's been going on too damn long and I'm empty. I want what you have - a job, a home and a partner. Yet all of them feel so damn fucking impossible now.

I don't really know. I just truly hate myself. I'm 23 and have worked hard to be where I am in the hopes it would change things but it doesn't. I understand what it means to feel empty. I feel suicide is my fate.
The day before I jumped a colleague said to me 'I'm so jealous of your life'. They had no idea what I was going to do the next day.
You need to hold onto wanting those things because they could truly make you happy. I just wish that was the case for me.
I need to end this pain and torment that's in my head.

 

[SinisterKid]

To a child, both are probably as devastating as each other. Its only through years of social conditioning and education that they start to think otherwise and differentiate between the two. But there are 2 certainties, death and taxes, so why we grow up to think of death, in any shape or form as a bad thing, is really beyond me. But opinions on the issue are always going to differ for whatever reasons people care to find.

 

[GreyMonkey]

I don't really know. I just truly hate myself. I'm 23 and have worked hard to be where I am in the hopes it would change things but it doesn't. I understand what it means to feel empty. I feel suicide is my fate.
The day before I jumped a colleague said to me 'I'm so jealous of your life'. They had no idea what I was going to do the next day.
You need to hold onto wanting those things because they could truly make you happy. I just wish that was the case for me.
I need to end this pain and torment that's in my head.

I hear you. I know what that feels like. I'm sure many of us on here do. I'm sure that's why many on here are here because that self-hate and the shame core that generates it is just too strong.

The thing to know, however, is that it's not truly you. None of us truly hate ourselves, we just experienced environmental failures growing up. Whether it was parents or teachers or other kids... somehow we were led to believe that we aren't good enough and that fucked is up.

I do believe that these feelings can be changed over time with the right support, yet it's far far far from easy.

I don't yet have subjective experience to back that statement up though. I'm still in a world of significant internal distress and it doesn't appear to be letting up anytime soon. So I totally get you and am amazed by your courage to do what you did and saddened by how that has left you now.

 

[LastFlowers]

If your suicide would destroy the life of a loved one would that prevent you from doing it?
Only asking because my partner has said to me that if I had succeeded in what I'd done he would of been a broken and lonely as fuck man for the rest of his life.
I know he truly meant it rather than as a guilt trip too.

No it would not prevent me as my life is destroyed too. I am no benefit to myself or others.
Also, people say that, but actions speak louder than words.
Few may mean it, some may say it but it won't actually hold true once you are gone.
Life always finds a way to move on without us. It's sad but it's how this rotten world works.

 

[alexithymia]

I think my parents would be destroyed. My dad's brother committed suicide when they were both quite young and it fucked the family up. His mom (my grandmother) has never been quite the same, apparently.

I feel a huge amount of guilt when I think about this. I wish I could've been the happy, normal daughter my parents deserve.

 

[Amz_Falls]

I hear you. I know what that feels like. I'm sure many of us on here do. I'm sure that's why many on here are here because that self-hate and the shame core that generates it is just too strong.

The thing to know, however, is that it's not truly you. None of us truly hate ourselves, we just experienced environmental failures growing up. Whether it was parents or teachers or other kids... somehow we were led to believe that we aren't good enough and that fucked is up.

I do believe that these feelings can be changed over time with the right support, yet it's far far far from easy.

I don't yet have subjective experience to back that statement up though. I'm still in a world of significant internal distress and it doesn't appear to be letting up anytime soon. So I totally get you and am amazed by your courage to do what you did and saddened by how that has left you now.

Thank you for such a thoughtful answer. I'm so sorry your in such internal distress too, I wish I could help in some way.

 

[GreyMonkey]

Thank you for such a thoughtful answer. I'm so sorry your in such internal distress too, I wish I could help in some way.

I wish that for me too, and for you and for everybody on here.

I know that none of us chose to feel this way.